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kpete

(72,022 posts)
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 11:37 AM Jan 2013

Newtown first responders: “Words can’t describe how horrible it was”

Reliving Horror and Faint Hope at Massacre Site


.................

“Words can’t describe how horrible it was,” said Detective Joudy, who has been with the department for 27 years.

As he left the building that day, Officer Tom Bean, who had also been off duty when he rushed to the scene, realized he had not told his wife where he was. He fumbled for his phone in the parking lot, and called her. “That’s when I broke down in tears, crying,” he said.

More than a month later, the officers continue to feel the pain of that day. Some spoke reluctantly, not wanting to compare their torment with the agony of the families of the children and adult victims. But they also worried about their ability to do their jobs, as they continue to suffer. They said they omitted some details out of sensitivity to the victims, and to protect the investigation as it continued.

At least one person, Officer Bean, said he has already received a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder. He said he had been unable to return to work since the shootings, and had needed medication to sleep.


.............

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/29/nyregion/horrors-of-newtown-shooting-scene-are-slow-to-fade.html?pagewanted=1&smid=tw-share
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Newtown first responders: “Words can’t describe how horrible it was” (Original Post) kpete Jan 2013 OP
So many victims Beaverhausen Jan 2013 #1
You can not, ever. They will have to live with these horrible visions for the rest of their lives. nc4bo Jan 2013 #3
In college, I took a course called "The Unspeakable." Tommy_Carcetti Jan 2013 #2
Destroyed little children and their educators malaise Jan 2013 #4
"The Christmas ornaments that sat unfinished, drying on the windowsill." Nye Bevan Jan 2013 #5
That Obama is a very clever dude...how did he orchestrate all of this so flawlessly? Atman Jan 2013 #6
... sheshe2 Jan 2013 #7
First responders see things that ... LisaLynne Jan 2013 #8
its always worse when its kids regardless of the other circumstances loli phabay Jan 2013 #9
Just THINKING about imagining it annabanana Jan 2013 #10
They are very brave to speak so honestly Kber Jan 2013 #11
Thank god they are allowed to admit to PTSD and it isn't a career killer tavalon Jan 2013 #12
horrible MoonRiver Jan 2013 #13
Nice to see some DU appreciation for what LE and other first responders go though. Skip Intro Jan 2013 #14
Doing good things does not mean we ignore the bad! Understand? n-t Logical Jan 2013 #19
It's rare that DU shows appreciation for first responders? Cali_Democrat Jan 2013 #28
Since when? Hekate Jan 2013 #46
That's false and you know it. Go piss on some other thread. kestrel91316 Jan 2013 #55
What tripe. DU appreciates first repsonders all the time. morningfog Jan 2013 #58
I hope they get the help and support they deserve in the coming months and years. Brickbat Jan 2013 #15
Try to imagine the 20 little bodies, all torn apart, all in the same room alcibiades_mystery Jan 2013 #16
I feel for these victims, too. Lifelong Protester Jan 2013 #17
I am absolutely horrified at the stupid ass gun nuts who are trying to deny this happened. Initech Jan 2013 #18
I'm not looking for an argument, but I have to say... Skip Intro Jan 2013 #21
Yeah I agree. Both sides are using it to their advantage. Initech Jan 2013 #22
"Sickening" when reality and emotions support a "political agenda" you don't like, eh? SunSeeker Jan 2013 #24
Interesting that that's what "sickens" you, as opposed to the bodies of maimed and murdered children villager Jan 2013 #27
Public safety is a 'political agenda'? tblue Jan 2013 #30
+1 000 000 000 kestrel91316 Jan 2013 #56
+1 PrezHillary2016 Jan 2013 #83
.. abelenkpe Jan 2013 #31
Nice equivalency! The Sandy Hook "truthers" (Holocaust deniers v2.0) are the very bullwinkle428 Jan 2013 #34
You Don't Like It? Boo-Fucking-Hoo. Paladin Jan 2013 #36
Have To Disagree - The Tough Love Now Directed At America's Gun Culture Is Overdue cantbeserious Jan 2013 #38
Well if that's what it takes butterflygirl Jan 2013 #43
I wonder how the victims' families, Control-Z Jan 2013 #44
Exploit a tragedy? Um, screw you. Downtown Hound Jan 2013 #50
Well that raises the level of discussion. Skip Intro Jan 2013 #51
You deserve less than that. morningfog Jan 2013 #60
Huh? Skip Intro Jan 2013 #63
You aren't fooling anyone. You messed up with your self-alert hilarity. morningfog Jan 2013 #66
Yeah. Same old deflection game. Poor substitute for substance. nt. Skip Intro Jan 2013 #68
You reap what you sow, old chap. morningfog Jan 2013 #70
. Skip Intro Jan 2013 #74
Nope, already said it all. n/t Downtown Hound Jan 2013 #85
This post was alerted and left 0-6. Aww someone lost alert privilege for 24 hours Hassin Bin Sober Jan 2013 #52
20 kids and 6 adults were killed by 1 guy and you're upset that it's being used to try to stop from neverforget Jan 2013 #57
Not looking for an argument because you know you would lose. morningfog Jan 2013 #59
I'm stating my opinion, as a Democrat, on a Democratic discussion board. Skip Intro Jan 2013 #64
Riiiight. lol. morningfog Jan 2013 #65
Silly me, I thougt we were going to have a substantive conversation. Skip Intro Jan 2013 #69
You have long burned that bridge. morningfog Jan 2013 #71
Oh dear! Skip Intro Jan 2013 #72
I wish you the best with your recovery. morningfog Jan 2013 #73
You know, I do believe you're cured my insomnia. Skip Intro Jan 2013 #75
I'm a helper. 3,300+ to wade through. morningfog Jan 2013 #76
I'm sure one or two will do the job. nt Skip Intro Jan 2013 #78
Still, you are welcome. morningfog Jan 2013 #79
Thank you. nt Skip Intro Jan 2013 #80
We're having this conversation because of what was done to people at Newtown. CBHagman Jan 2013 #62
I'm sorry, but you are wrong. Skip Intro Jan 2013 #67
You are slipping again. Really, saying too much. morningfog Jan 2013 #77
Really? I don't understand your point of view at all. you think mass murder of children mountain grammy Jan 2013 #86
One of the main CT proponents was a candidate for Attorney General in Connecticut NewJeffCT Jan 2013 #36
i'm with you, signed up to help make that a reality. lastlib Jan 2013 #41
Initech said: "Assault rifles are going away. Get over it." mike dub Jan 2013 #84
I've thought about the first responders a lot. yardwork Jan 2013 #20
The list of people who SHOULD be paid more than CEOs is VERY long.... Moostache Jan 2013 #23
Totally agree. I believe that CEOs should have low pay because of all the perks. yardwork Jan 2013 #29
And teachers. chervilant Jan 2013 #32
I meant to include teachers, absolutely. yardwork Jan 2013 #47
ESPECIALLY TEACHERS!!! eom lastlib Jan 2013 #42
Yes! yardwork Jan 2013 #48
I used to be a nurse Mojorabbit Jan 2013 #53
You and many others take care of us, and in return you should be rewarded greatly. yardwork Jan 2013 #54
I know a lot of us have seen some awful things. Robb Jan 2013 #25
It took a lot of guts for these guys to talk about this. SunSeeker Jan 2013 #26
There goes that "Liberal" New York Times again... Spitfire of ATJ Jan 2013 #33
It got me thinking rickyhall Jan 2013 #35
Yet that Florida Atlantic University Prof still thinks it "never happened." mainer Jan 2013 #39
That guy is fucking delusional. Zoeisright Jan 2013 #45
How can we ask these men to accept this kind of thing as marions ghost Jan 2013 #40
Each Newton police officer needs to testify in favor of Diane Feinstein's bill. no_hypocrisy Jan 2013 #49
I don't know how they can bear the weight of it mokawanis Jan 2013 #61
Still impressed by the way they handled that awful tragedy. BootinUp Jan 2013 #81
What an awful and tragic story pauldemmd195j Jan 2013 #82
We should all have PTSD from this massacre, and the others. mountain grammy Jan 2013 #87

Beaverhausen

(24,472 posts)
1. So many victims
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 11:42 AM
Jan 2013

Can't imagine what it's like for them. How do you get those images out of your memory?

nc4bo

(17,651 posts)
3. You can not, ever. They will have to live with these horrible visions for the rest of their lives.
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 11:45 AM
Jan 2013

And my heart absolutely breaks for the entire town of Newtown.

Tommy_Carcetti

(43,199 posts)
2. In college, I took a course called "The Unspeakable."
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 11:44 AM
Jan 2013

It was an English course about literature which struggled to convey things and concepts which words could not truly describe.

This had to be the epitome of The Unspeakable.

LisaLynne

(14,554 posts)
8. First responders see things that ...
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 12:13 PM
Jan 2013

those of us who are not in that position can never imagine. And they see it again and again. Hopefully, these particular people will never have to see anything this horrific ever again (and I would give anything if no one else would either), but every day they go out, there is no telling what they will be faced with.

 

loli phabay

(5,580 posts)
9. its always worse when its kids regardless of the other circumstances
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 12:20 PM
Jan 2013

Though for me stuff like sids is the worse as its young infants and the peacefullness of the scene.

Kber

(5,043 posts)
11. They are very brave to speak so honestly
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 12:35 PM
Jan 2013

Their honesty about how they were affected, about how even "tough guys" break down in tears, about PTSD, will help others.

I wish them, and all affected, love and healing.

tavalon

(27,985 posts)
12. Thank god they are allowed to admit to PTSD and it isn't a career killer
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 12:37 PM
Jan 2013

How can you see those innocent poor babies blown to bits and not have PTSD?

Skip Intro

(19,768 posts)
14. Nice to see some DU appreciation for what LE and other first responders go though.
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 12:40 PM
Jan 2013

Rare thing, but nice to see nonetheless.

 

morningfog

(18,115 posts)
58. What tripe. DU appreciates first repsonders all the time.
Wed Jan 30, 2013, 12:03 AM
Jan 2013

What DU does not appreciate is authoritarians who shoot first and get absolved second. You are trying too hard to slander DU. I wonder why.

Initech

(100,104 posts)
18. I am absolutely horrified at the stupid ass gun nuts who are trying to deny this happened.
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 01:18 PM
Jan 2013

It did. Assault rifles are going away. Get over it.

Skip Intro

(19,768 posts)
21. I'm not looking for an argument, but I have to say...
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 01:31 PM
Jan 2013

that it sickens me as well to see gun-control proponents exploit this tragedy to push a political agenda, and has from the beginning. It's being used to manipulate the emotions of the public to achieve a long-held political goal. Don't like it.

Initech

(100,104 posts)
22. Yeah I agree. Both sides are using it to their advantage.
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 01:39 PM
Jan 2013

But when you see things like "Father Of Kid Killed in Newtown Shooting Heckled At State Senate Hearing", how fucked up is that and what does it say about our society?

SunSeeker

(51,720 posts)
24. "Sickening" when reality and emotions support a "political agenda" you don't like, eh?
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 01:51 PM
Jan 2013

I mean, THAT is what you find "sickening" about this?! That it is being used to support gun control?! Wow. Just wow.

 

villager

(26,001 posts)
27. Interesting that that's what "sickens" you, as opposed to the bodies of maimed and murdered children
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 01:58 PM
Jan 2013

But then the Great God Gun must always come first.

Always.

abelenkpe

(9,933 posts)
31. ..
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 02:20 PM
Jan 2013

Yeah we shouldn't point out that had we done something long ago this wouldn't have happened. Gun control advocates should just not say anything. Your comment literally makes me ill.

bullwinkle428

(20,631 posts)
34. Nice equivalency! The Sandy Hook "truthers" (Holocaust deniers v2.0) are the very
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 02:34 PM
Jan 2013

same thing as those pushing for stronger gun laws in the wake of the tragedy.

Paladin

(28,275 posts)
36. You Don't Like It? Boo-Fucking-Hoo.
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 02:36 PM
Jan 2013

And don't worry about looking for an argument, because it's pretty obvious you don't have one.....

Control-Z

(15,682 posts)
44. I wonder how the victims' families,
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 03:38 PM
Jan 2013

the first responders, and the rest of the majority of the country would feel if gun-control proponents just sat quietly and did nothing.

I have to say...that it sickens me to see comments like yours posted here.


Downtown Hound

(12,618 posts)
50. Exploit a tragedy? Um, screw you.
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 10:14 PM
Jan 2013

And if this wasn't DU, I wouldn't use the word screw. We're not exploiting anything. We're tired of seeing this. That means ridding our nation of the pestilence that is assault rifles.

Skip Intro

(19,768 posts)
51. Well that raises the level of discussion.
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 10:29 PM
Jan 2013

You have your opinion on the matter, I have mine.

If you have something to say to me that you are too afraid to post, you can always pm me.

 

morningfog

(18,115 posts)
66. You aren't fooling anyone. You messed up with your self-alert hilarity.
Wed Jan 30, 2013, 12:47 AM
Jan 2013

You have lost all credibility and legitimacy. You did it to yourself.

neverforget

(9,437 posts)
57. 20 kids and 6 adults were killed by 1 guy and you're upset that it's being used to try to stop from
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 11:59 PM
Jan 2013

happening again? Seriously?

Skip Intro

(19,768 posts)
64. I'm stating my opinion, as a Democrat, on a Democratic discussion board.
Wed Jan 30, 2013, 12:42 AM
Jan 2013

If it's too much for you to handle, maybe you should make use of the ignore feature.

Just sayn'.

Skip Intro

(19,768 posts)
69. Silly me, I thougt we were going to have a substantive conversation.
Wed Jan 30, 2013, 12:54 AM
Jan 2013

D'oh! Forgot who I was talking to...



Skip Intro

(19,768 posts)
72. Oh dear!
Wed Jan 30, 2013, 12:59 AM
Jan 2013

...you mean I can never have a real discussion with morningfog?!

Will I ever be able to sleep again...

Skip Intro

(19,768 posts)
75. You know, I do believe you're cured my insomnia.
Wed Jan 30, 2013, 01:04 AM
Jan 2013

I'll have to find more of your posts next time I have trouble sleeping.

CBHagman

(16,987 posts)
62. We're having this conversation because of what was done to people at Newtown.
Wed Jan 30, 2013, 12:18 AM
Jan 2013

Shock and horror aren't aberrations in this case, nor are they manufactured.

The status quo serves particular moneyed interests who insist on absolute power and absolute fealty. Gun control advocates represent law enforcement survivors, victims, communities.

I wish you'd just left your comment off, especially considering the OP.

Skip Intro

(19,768 posts)
67. I'm sorry, but you are wrong.
Wed Jan 30, 2013, 12:51 AM
Jan 2013

Gun control advocates do not represent all, and I doubt most, LE.

But that is all beyond my comment.

I simply see opportunism on behalf of those who seek to push gun control by using the Newton tragedy as a tool of manipulation. Some gun control advocates have said we must strike while the iron is hot. Obama himself has said he hoped it would stay fresh in the minds of the public.

In my opinion it is wrong to use the senseless deaths of those children to further a political agenda that existed long before this tragedy ever happened. It just strikes me as tactless and lacking respect for those victims.

My post was a response to a post in this thread, not to the OP.

I respect that you may have a view that differs from mine. However, that doesn't change my view. What I've described, to me, is glaringly obvious.
 

morningfog

(18,115 posts)
77. You are slipping again. Really, saying too much.
Wed Jan 30, 2013, 01:08 AM
Jan 2013

You find it inappropriate to use the Newtown massacre as an impetus for gun reform. Please, tell me more, Skip.

mountain grammy

(26,655 posts)
86. Really? I don't understand your point of view at all. you think mass murder of children
Wed Jan 30, 2013, 11:47 AM
Jan 2013

with legally obtained assault weapons is something we shouldn't talk about because it's exploiting a tragedy? Our emotions are being manipulated? Really? Do you have any emotions? If you own these weapons, I'm afraid of you.

NewJeffCT

(56,829 posts)
36. One of the main CT proponents was a candidate for Attorney General in Connecticut
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 02:36 PM
Jan 2013

in 2010 - a woman named Martha Dean. She ended up losing by about 10%, but it's scary that she was that close to a statewide office even though she was the state teabagger's dream candidate. When going through a divorce, her now ex-husband had gotten their son into some prestigious science program for the summer, however Dean took the son out of the science program and had him go to some shooting camp for teens that summer instead.

mike dub

(541 posts)
84. Initech said: "Assault rifles are going away. Get over it."
Wed Jan 30, 2013, 11:17 AM
Jan 2013

I sure hope you're right, Initech.

Congress is already trying to jump off to the next big thing (immigration reform). Seems like an odd distraction to me. Hope they don't lose memory of the horrors of Newtown... I hope I'm wrong - but I'm feeling more and more pessimistic lately. The pain of that day will live on, but Washington seems to be putting it on the backburner/ignoring it/letting it "go away".

yardwork

(61,712 posts)
20. I've thought about the first responders a lot.
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 01:26 PM
Jan 2013

Rooms full of dead babies. I can't imagine.

All first responders deserve our praise and support, and they ought to get paid a heckuva lot more. First responders should be making millions of dollars, not CEOs.

Moostache

(9,897 posts)
23. The list of people who SHOULD be paid more than CEOs is VERY long....
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 01:48 PM
Jan 2013

The pay structure of our entire society is disgusting. There are many people who gnash their teeth and lament our society's ultimate downfall...not me...I am rooting for the next group to get it right where we have gone so irretrievably wrong.

yardwork

(61,712 posts)
29. Totally agree. I believe that CEOs should have low pay because of all the perks.
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 02:10 PM
Jan 2013

I feel that our pay scale is flipped the wrong way. People who enjoy power should be willing to do those jobs with fairly low pay. After all, they get a lot of perks. In contrast, people who do the essential work that keeps us alive and healthy - first responders, nurses and doctors (especially primary care doctors), fire fighters, police officers, garbage collectors, plumbers, public works employees, ditch diggers, and others who do difficult, essential work should get paid millions.

chervilant

(8,267 posts)
32. And teachers.
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 02:28 PM
Jan 2013

Please don't forget teachers. We are -- sadly -- counted as victims of school shootings like this one. I cannot imagine the horror of a deranged gun wielder threatening my precious students. I cannot imagine the horror of witnessing the aftermath of such insane violence.

Mojorabbit

(16,020 posts)
53. I used to be a nurse
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 10:46 PM
Jan 2013

You see lots of horrible things. I worked the ER and critical care. School bus accidents, child abuse cases, motorcycle and auto accidents, all manner of trauma came in. All were bad.

yardwork

(61,712 posts)
54. You and many others take care of us, and in return you should be rewarded greatly.
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 11:17 PM
Jan 2013

I appreciate what you did. I'm sorry for what you had to see.

One day when my kids were little we saw an ambulance parked in a strip mall near our house. The paramedics seemed to be on their lunch break. Thinking that they wouldn't mind if I showed my kids the ambulance, I approached them and asked if my kids could look at the inside of the ambulance. The paramedics looked so sad when they saw my kids. They said something about all the little kids they'd had to care for in that ambulance. I realized how deadly serious this was.

SunSeeker

(51,720 posts)
26. It took a lot of guts for these guys to talk about this.
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 01:53 PM
Jan 2013

The horror of this incident is just too much to bear.

 

Spitfire of ATJ

(32,723 posts)
33. There goes that "Liberal" New York Times again...
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 02:31 PM
Jan 2013

Giving out details just to make people have "feelings".

You aren't supposed to have "feelings".

That's for wimps.

We're AMERICANS damn it!

We're supposed to be cold, dead in the center assholes only concerned with the intrusive government taking away our freedom to sit in homes with bars on the windows giving us a view like we are in prison as we point a $2,500 AR-15 at the door to protect our $40 Walmart DVD player.

Zoeisright

(8,339 posts)
45. That guy is fucking delusional.
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 03:51 PM
Jan 2013

I mean, seriously, he should get some serious mental health treatment.

marions ghost

(19,841 posts)
40. How can we ask these men to accept this kind of thing as
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 02:42 PM
Jan 2013

part of their job?

They will never fully recover, though I think they can go on to live successful lives.

This is so wrong.

no_hypocrisy

(46,193 posts)
49. Each Newton police officer needs to testify in favor of Diane Feinstein's bill.
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 09:16 PM
Jan 2013

Before each House of Congress.

mokawanis

(4,452 posts)
61. I don't know how they can bear the weight of it
Wed Jan 30, 2013, 12:12 AM
Jan 2013

Anytime I slip into thinking what that scene must have looked like I just have to turn it off.

 

pauldemmd195j

(36 posts)
82. What an awful and tragic story
Wed Jan 30, 2013, 01:33 AM
Jan 2013

May the victims of this atrocity rest in peace. Here's hoping more sensible gun laws will be enacted in the near future.

mountain grammy

(26,655 posts)
87. We should all have PTSD from this massacre, and the others.
Wed Jan 30, 2013, 11:56 AM
Jan 2013

Maybe it'll give us the strength to overcome the hate and deal with reality.

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