Honestly, probably within the last year or so.

I always stop at this one gas station on my way home from work to buy beer and the occasional lotto ticket. From time to time, I see this one homeless man who is about my father's age and another one that is about my age (32).

I've taken the time to talk extensively to the older guy. I give him a $5, $10, or a $20 (whatever the largest bill in my pocket is) and I take the time to talk to the guy. He tells me about his brother and what used to be his family. I don't know and I don't care how much of it is true, but it makes me feel good to think that I made someone's pain a little more bearable. If I'm ever driving around and I have my kids with me, I'd love to stop and introduce them to him. For my kid's sake I think it is important to learn that everyone needs to be treated with respect and dignity regardless of where they are in life. For the man's sake because I think it is important to see that he is still a part of society and is a worthwhile person.

Homeless people aren't "losers". I'm sure some of them have made some pretty shitty decisions and others have had some pretty incredible circumstances happen to them, but they are still people with personalities and stories worth hearing.

Can we ever really save these guys and get them jobs and normal lives again? I don't know. I honestly doubt it. But that doesn't mean that we should ignore them and not pass any charity to them. I hardly believe that, by giving them the occasional handout, that we are encouraging them to stay homeless or encouraging others to become homeless. Given the choice, I doubt that is a lifestyle that anyone would desire. However, I'm not sure if it is a lifestyle that anyone can recover from. Does that make sense?

To anyone who has never done this, try talking to a homeless person. Or at least make eye contact, smile, and say "hi" as you walk by. Trust me, it'll probably make you feel good.

is a bleeding heart liberal, much like me. I give change to people frequently but he's always taken it a bit further. When he lived on the very barge I now live on, he would walk around Fremont (Seattle) and talk to a number of the homeless folks who sold Real Change, the newspaper printed by the homeless for the homeless. That's another thing he and I share, we always have more than one copy of any issue of that paper laying around because when we see someone selling it, we both buy it, even if we already have that issue. But again, he always takes it a bit further and is now a long time volunteer at Real Change.

But back to my original story, there was one guy he took a real shine to and the guy to him. It turns out J. once had a drinking problem but no longer and once was a successful handyman, but no longer. Well, when my friend found that out, he got J. to do a bunch of work on the barge and as he was just buying a new place elsewhere and was rarely on the barge himself, he told J. he could stay there any time he wanted. J. was very self effacing and never took him up on that. But as the years passed, J. ended up going to live on the property my friend bought and did handyman work for his rent.

But, every once in a while, he would go back into the city and camp, that's what he called it, camping. Not to drink. He didn't do that anymore. I don't know why, but honestly, he held a lot of his cards close and being such a gentle and sweet guy, we just loved him and let him open up as he wished. There were stories about sons but no names and that was okay until a few years ago. He was driving back into Seattle and had a heart attack while driving. He managed to pull the car over but died almost instantly.

We had no idea how to contact his family and going through his things didn't give us a clue. And then my friend said, "Hey, he was our family." and he paid for a cremation and we held a ceremony for him. There was so much love, laughter and tears in that room as we each relayed our stories about our quirky but wonderful friend. Sometimes I feel sad thinking about the possible people out there who don't know that their father is gone but I'm happy to say he had a chosen family in his last few years on this earth.

It all comes down to doing what you did - treat all people with respect and dignity.

Thanks again for taking the time to write that.

i'm sure J. appreciated his chosen family

the last time i saw my little sister healthy and whole, i waas pissed at her because she was late taking me to the airport. she drove like a crazy woman to get me there on time, and i was still pissed. two months later she was in the hospital, and 2 months after that, she died. if only i could have sucked it up and appreciated her, instead of giving in to anger. of course she forgave me, but that experience taught we a valuable lesson. it's love, kindness and caring that's important, and it is important to me to share that part of myself as often as i can.

but when a homeless person asks me for money, I at least look them in the eye to tell them I'm sorry I don't have any. And I always do say "I'm sorry."

who asked for help. I never carry cash. I use only my debit card for all purchases.

Failure as humans for caring and compassion. A failure of a country that bows at the feat of corporations. The fear of failure in one's own life that would land them squarely in the same position that they are passing by.

It's a sense of guilt, fear, and general uncomfortableness that makes people avert their eyes. And most people who do care and see homelessness as a failure of our country and ourselves, often lack the resources to make a real difference. Many of us barely have enough money to make it thru the week and there are so many who are in a homeless situation; especially since the 2008 crash. It's not just a broken Vietnam Vet suffering from years of PTSD and various chemical additives to alleviate some of the pain and suffering.

There needs to be a re-vamp of Govt doing its best for the people and not the wealthy and corporations. These corporations have no care and value for people other than to use them for labor (and pay out, extract productivity for the least amount they can get away with and with as few of people they can legally get away with) and to "sell" to them for as much as they can get away with marking up a product.

As it is, most of us are treading water in the middle of the lake who's shore keeps getting further and further away from us... For many of us, we can't even see the shore anymore and have no idea which direction to take that will most easily lead us to the shore. In this analogy, the Govt should be out in a rescue boat pulling us out of the water. But because of politics, corruption, and nasty Republicans and DINO's, the corporations keep flood gates open, and cut the cable for Govt to intervene, while also keeping the necessary parts for the boat to operate 2 weeks away from delivery (i.e. taxes uncollected and regulations loose as a goose)

Because I can't do more. I'm only one person. I do what I can. Sometimes, it's just a smile.

but it was not always so homelessness was created in the early Reagan years. It has become the norm now some 33 years later, what is even worse that we have enough empty housing to house a good deal of the homeless. However there seems to be a philosophy that encourages the idea that it is better people live on street and go hungry than someone getting something for nothing

You are right. No one had to be homeless before Reagan. There were hobos, bums and hippies, people who chose to live on the streets or in communes, or on the road, but once they were through with that lifestyle they could come back into mainstream society and there were the networks there to help them, as well as plenty of jobs that paid a living wage and inexpensive places to live.

...and the panhandlers. But if I gave a dollar to every one of them every time I saw them, I'd be broke. I see them, but I avoid eye contact because I don't have time to get the story of every person asking for money. I do donate to the local homeless shelter, and vote for candidates that are looking for ways to help them find employment, substance abuse treatment or mental health care.

to at least say hello, and offer whatever change i have. it is important to SEE people and to acknowledge them. sometime people are surprised that i actually give a damn. sad.

the fantasies they hold dear about an honest hard day's work taking care of everything aren't true.

kick them into shrubs and overpasses...

like "sorry, I can't today". I have struck up a number of conversations with them. They all have interesting stories. None of them have ever been hostile to me. I moved to Boston back in July from NYC and I don't see very many homeless people here, I am not sure why because I am sure they exist.

In New York, they were everywhere. I am just not the type of person who could ever harden my heart against them and think of them as less than human. I always empathized and felt that even if they were going to spend the money on drink, they had a right to do whatever they needed to, to make their lives a little more bearable.

It's so tragic that in a country as wealthy as ours we have such a huge problem with this.

so I have something to give. But when I pull up to a stoplight and the guy has a sign, and I look at his clothes, hair and shoes and everything looks well groomed and new, well I feel like he's lying. Maybe not, but I can't shake that. A grubby looking guy has a much better chance of my giving him (or her)money. Don't know why....................

Most of the homeless around my office and apartment are very sweet and appreciative. If anyone asks for a meal, they are getting one!