Yes...

My deepest condolences...

I lost my Mom 11 years ago....I think about her every day and I always miss her......

My thoughts are with you.

my own mom is 77, and while she is not much part of my life, it still would hurt if she was gone.

For those with living parents, I am told it helps to have recordings of them, to be able to hear their voice. A good idea to make some, or make some for your kids, while you still can.

I like to believe this

It is one of the worst things. I'm glad you told us.

You are right your world changes when you lose your mom I miss mine, she's been gone 8 years and I stil catch myself going to call her when I have something cool going on.....(we are much luckier to have had such awesome moms then those who had mean ones that lived to be 100)

But I can imagine what it must have been like for you and I'm envious.

It's appreciated. It also means you know the difference and that is very important.

What a woman, she was born in 1908 and had a very full life. I miss her every day. So I know how you feel.
I'm sorry for your loss.

Your mom sounds like she was awesome

My mom died at 94 of Alzheimer's. That made it much easier to bear. I'm sorry for your loss.

That's the most hearts I can send you...mine are all used up...but they are just as good.

Losing a mom is always hard - losing her so quickly is harder

May your Mom RIP.

It's especially hard to lose someone suddenly.

I can tell you're already standing a little bit taller, carrying on in her name. The world is better for having known her and because she gave you to us.

I'm so sorry!

What a beautiful loving tribute to your Mom, sweetheart.

My mom's birthday was Feb 9th and I called my sisters to talk about how much we missed her.. I'd love to be able to talk her like I always did. She's been gone 15 years.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you were so blessed to have such a great parent-child bond. Losing your mom is one of life's hardest, most painful experiences. I lost mine 13 years ago, and sometimes it's still really painful. Try to focus on the great memories, the priceless things she taught you and that you can pass on in her name.

I lost my mom 20 years ago. I still miss her.

Take care and sending good thoughts from the west coast...

virtual hug from Tarheel_Dem to Bobbie Jo.

Do cherish the memories when you think about her every day.

I lost my mother in 1972 when I was in my 20s. Now I'm almost in my 70s and still feel her loss every day. But remembering is always with me. My condolences

For your loss. I know how you are feeling right now. It doesn't seem possible that she is not there anymore. When I lost my Mom 5 yrs ago, it felt absolutely surreal. Time stood still for a long while, but slowly I gained strength to carry on. My arms are around you right now giving you a big hug.

beautiful tribute to your mother.

My mom had breast cancer twice. During the second round, she wound up with neurological complications that turned her into someone that barely resembles the mom I knew. Cancer is such a rotten disease. Hugs to you and the rest of your family.

:hugs:

in my thoughts. I am so very sorry.

My mom died at a 85, which is fantastic for her side of the family. I still miss her, though. It was her birthday last week and next week is the 7th anniversary of her death. You're right. Your world does change. It's a little sadder and lonelier, no matter how many people you have in your life.

((Bobbie Jo))

Supporting one another makes so much difference, though the loss be no less. Peace to her, and to you.

My mom died October 8, her 89th birthday would have been this Wednesday. I still cry nearly everyday. I've never heard that line about your life changing but it does. No one will ever love you as much as your mom.

And yours was so young. Both of you were cheated. My mom lived a full life, never sick, independent until the day she died, and she never knew what hit her. (I hope). She fell into a coma and was gone in 2 days.

and consolation to you and yours.

Today is the anniversary of my mom's death.

Nothing has ever been the same.

I'll be thinking of you.

nt

I can't imagine how hard this must be. A routine visit….. then this.


Did they say why this wasn't caught earlier?

or how old you are, it's always a difficult change of life. I wish you the fondest of memories and the consolation that she will always remain in your heart.

My Dad died 7 months ago so I can empathize with you. I felt like I was living in a grey all consuming cloud of grief for a few months. Talking about how sad I was helped and learning from friends about their own experience with grief. Also, there are great grief groups and counseling available. I know it's free through hospice in my locale even if you didn't use hospice. What is finally helping leave that cloud of grief is making a memory board about my Dad. I go out to a special place in a state park and work on the board and remember my Dad. It's helped me.

My Mom died in 2007 and I miss calling her every day.

Cancer sucks!

Moms teach us so much...except maybe how to let go...

May you find some rest, and solace, in a happy memory of her...

and may the sad moments be slowly replaced by the good memories.

I will probably always miss my Mom - but I still talk to her especially if there is something lovely going on - it makes me feel she is close and I still feel loved.

A big to you Bobbie Jo.

I'm just happy that I've stopped trying to call her all the time because realizing my call was going nowhere brought on rather sharp pain and empty feelings.

Thanks for sharing, you know others are going through the same thing intellectually but it sometimes feels so lonely that you lose track of the obvious.

I am 71 years old, and have some very precious daughters and sons. As a woman facing her mortality, I will tell you this. What hurts me most now, is knowing how my children will hurt after my death. If I had one wish, I would wish that they would not hurt, but, instead, remember what they loved about me every day, and shower their loved ones with those good feelings that I bring them, not the sad ones. I would want them to especially remember the funny times we had, the laughter ringing in the house; and would want them to know how special their laughter is to me even after death.

However, I know that this is easy to say and very hard to do. We are still suffering from their father's death, even though it has been over three years. Grief has its stages. Just remember, this is stage 1, and there is an abatement to grief eventually. Then the memories are very important. Your Mom would certainly give you her permission to be relieved that she is out of pain, to laugh as much as you can, and remember the precious as well as ironic moments. Cry all you want and do not give anyone permission to limit your time of grief. It belongs to you and your precious Mom.

Absolutely spot on.

She sounds absolutely wonderful. I am so sorry.

Losing a parent is painful no matter what. When one is as close to their parent as you were to your mother it's all the worse.

It took me a full year to get over my dad's death.

Hang in there.

I am so sorry that you have losst someone so close to your heart.

Gentle hugs

that's young! My heart goes out to you.

When my mom passed, while dubya was still squatting in the White House, it was INCREDIBLY comforting to post this and then to read the beautiful heartfelt posts that followed. It was instantaneous and soon there were loads of them. It was so touching and reaffirming and comforting. They were so wonderful. I was overwhelmed. I'll never forget it.

Many thoughts of love, support, sympathy, prayer, and condolences are coming your way from here, as I know is true elsewhere among those close to you outside of DU.

It's good that you've posted about it here. Please don't hesitate to share what's happened and how you're feeling. Let DUers know. They are many pairs of shoulders checking in, to help you carry this burden. They will buoy you up.

I will never forget their wonderful messages to me. I felt so alone, even though I was surrounded. Do not hesitate to let other DU friends know when you have sadness to overwhelming you. It helps immeasurably, and is one of the reasons why I love DU. Thank you Administrators and all the people who contribute to DU in love of each other and our country.

...and she just lost her mom (October - grandma was 91).

I live far away from them and I expect it isn't as painful when you don't get to enjoy their company every day, but I am still very sad; my grandmother was a very special woman. I'm know that my mother is struggling to get through each day. I'm sure it is a very difficult thing to endure.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

My deepest sympathy Bobbie Jo.

Just before her 70th birthday. I'm lucky that I had her for 21 years after her initial diagnosis. I still miss her terribly.

She's starting to talk to me again about her green and white quilt. If I don't stop what I've been working on and pick up her quilt for a while, she won't leave me alone.


“My mama knew I wasn’t ready to let her go, so she stayed until her passing would be a blessing, her suffering over. The terrible things that happen to us in this life never make any sense when we’re in the middle of them, floundering, no end in sight. There is no rope to hang on to, it seems. Mothers can soothe children during those times, through their reassurance. No one worries about you like your mother, and when she is gone, the world seems unsafe, things that happen unwieldy. You cannot turn to her anymore, and it changes your life forever. There is no one on earth who knew you from the day you were born; who knew exactly what to say when you were hurting; and who encouraged you to grow a good heart. When that layer goes, whatever is left of your childhood goes with her. Memories are very different and cannot soothe you the same way her touch did."

~From Big Stone Gap, by Adriana Trigiani

I lost my Mum 2 weeks ago so I feel the pain you're in. The loss really does change your world

....I'm so very sorry for your loss. I lost my wife to metastatic breast cancer a year ago on Feb. 5th, so I know your pain. I can't take it away, but I'm hear if you need to talk. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who has been through it. I know you don't know me, but I have been here at DU since it began in 2001, and I was fortunate enough to have a member make this offer to me.....and I took her up on it.
God bless you and may you find peace soon.

Uben

Has a lung disease and she doesn't have that much longer, and it feels like I'm stepping off an abyss when I see myself without her. All this to say, I understand your love for your mother, and my heart goes out to you. All this place has rushed to reply to you, so certainly your post is well received. You're not alone.

We have lost family to cancer, it is an equal opportunity killer. That aside, it is hard to lose a parent even though most of us will have to do so someday. Just keep remembering the good times.

She was so young. Your biggest fan?! Wow! You were blessed and fortunate to have had a mom like that. And she was too to have you.

Yes,... everything seems to change when you lose your Mom....... I lost mine to the same disease 12 yrs ago.. for me I think it really hit home when 2 things happened.,................... 1) Finding out some exciting new info. or event and wanting to call & share it with her, & then realizing that there was no one to call.................... and 2)My first Mother's Day without her...........starting to think of things she would like for Mother's Day, only to realize I didn't have a Mom anymore to send holiday wishes to..........give yourself time and remember that everyone grieves differently, and in their own time................may peace be with you and yours.

I'm another one here who doesn't know what it's like to have what you lost.

But I do know loss is just so hard. Emotional pain is hard.

Let me be the 100th person to say I care.

I lost my Mom unexpectedly in Jan. 2000 and I still miss her every day, but especially on Sundays when we had our long distant phone conversations.

Your memories of your Mom will see you through this.

Expressing love for your mom is never inappropriate in any forum. Moms are irreplaceable. But it looks like you have a lot of love here on DU to help on your journey to healing.

For sharing that your Mom was your best friend, your hero and your biggest fan. I was blessed with the opportunity to be my Mom's caregiver for the last three years of her life, and we had such good times together. I lost her unexpectedly and it took me a while to get beyond my grief. It's been seventeen years and I miss her every day. But, I find the good memories are a comfort to me now.

Hugs and condolences,

Cherv

My mom is about the same age and I can't imagine losing her. You must be in so much pain.

Your mom is at peace and the bad thing about death is those who are left behind suffer more. That said remember your mother will always be with you in ways you'll find out as time goes on. I lost my dad in 1997. Every now and then I feel dad being there for me after all these years.

so I understand how you feel. My mother, too, was my best friend. She died of complications from Alz's at nursing home with Hospice and I was with her nearly 24 hr for 7 days. She was 83. I was her sole caretaker for 2 and half years before placing her in nursing home close to me when she got worse, but visited with her nearly everyday.

So sorry for your loss of your beloved mother. A big hug for you. Losing mother is so hard.

I'm sorry for your loss, Bobbie Jo.

I still miss her.

The best thing that happened was I was able to stop the drinking and drugs and the smoking and started out on a good path to adult hood before she passed on. I think she held out to make sure all the three of us were okay.

Share with DU as often as you need. There will always be someone here for you.

May you find comfort in the wonderful memories of the times you shared with your mom.

and

I am so sorry for your loss.

I miss her chubby arms hugging me.

in tears. DU'ers can be some of the most supportive, caring, compassionate people I've ever known.

I am an only child of an only child. My daughters were real troopers throughout this ordeal.

I can't thank you enough for the beautiful responses. I feel pretty lost right now.

Love you guys!

I'm so sorry this happened to your mother and to you. From another motherless person, I can concur, it will never be same. I know your pain, though mine is dimmed by 42 years without my mother. I actually felt a bit of envy when you said: "This woman was my best friend, my hero, and biggest fan. She was truly an amazing woman, and I'll miss her every single day."

Don't get me wrong. I don't envy the pain you are feeling. It's just that I lost my mother when I was eight years old, so I never got to find out who she really was. I know that nothing is a comfort right now, but I hope that one day, that quote will sit kindly and gently in your heart.

For now, everything you feel is the right thing to feel in the right moment and please don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's not their grief, it is yours.

My condolences on your loss.

Peace to you and your family.

I miss her yet and the influence she might have had in my life . . . Be thankful for the years you had together . . . Knowing her . . . And having her in your life . . No matter how long or short . . . Consider yourself blessed to have had a Mother!

Your mom is your mom - no matter your age. Mine was my favorite person EVER and losing her was almost too much to bear. May your good memories soon begin to replace your grief.

I am SO sorry. I lost my mom to breast cancer 3 years ago.

My world changed. Dramatically. For about 4-6 months, I thought it would never return.

But, time did heal it. Mostly. MY life came back and yours will. A different life, yes. But a life where you will go on seeking happiness the way your lovely mom WANTED you to. And THAT, I am sure, is all she wanted for you. To find happiness and you must do that. For her and for yourself.

For the time being, do what you want, feel what you feel. Rest and recover. Lean on your loved ones and be kind to yourself.

Peace and love.

I know I can't give you anything but one of my DU hearts. It won't heal yours any faster, but it'll let you know that there isn't a day that goes by that when I look at the clock a certain time, or do something my mommy would love, I feel my heart grow with such appreciation of having her as long as I did.

Love never goes away, your heart just gets re-arranged for awhile.

What a heartstoppingly beautiful quote! So true.

I recall when I lost my dear cat long ago that I said that for the first time. Something to do with holding her little body like fine china and having her paws knead my neck... which didn't hurt after all, as she was just re-arranging my heart.

Tis true.

My heart goes out to you. I hope as time goes on the sorrow lifts a bit every day.
You will always love her and miss her and remember her strength.

Please accept my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your beloved mom. So many here can relate to what you're going through, and perhaps in some small way can comfort you. It's good that you came here - it gives us an opportunity to tell you what a blessing you were to your mom.

You will miss her every day. I know, I lost my Mom in 1983 at only 62. Time has eased the pain, but so often I wonder what she'd think of her family now, her grandsons all grown up, and the granddaughter she never met, who was named for her, and of the 5 amazing great grandkids. And I'll always miss that wicked sense of humour.
I hope that good memories will sustain you through your grief. Peace to you and yours.

with you always and that you will continue to honor her by being the kick ass chicky that you are.

RIP Bobby Jo's mom. *sigh* Life can be so not fun sometimes. But these things define us so much more than the good times.

The one who gave you life, and who always tried to make things right for you, is gone. It's a wrenching loss, I know. I lost my mom 10 years ago (on Feb. 15), and not a day goes by that don't miss her laughter, wisdom and good conversation.

Bobbie Joe, it will get better, I guarantee it. In time, the sadness of loss transforms to loving memories -- bittersweet, but nevertheless warming to the soul.

Hang in there --

I lost my mom two years ago this April, two days before her 74th birthday. I still catch myself thinking "I need to call Mom and tell her..." something or other.

I lost my mother back in 2002. It changed every aspect of my family. Everyone treated each other different after that. Mostly for the good.