Then blame everyone else when they don't breed.

You salt the ground they might feed on. With no bulls in sight you ridicule them for keeping company together. You blame the brown cow for the spotted cows problems. You buy a sizable armory to 'protect' the rights of you're cows.
When they die of neglect...
You blame Obama.

Anything where they can blame Obama they like

You have two cows. One dies from disease because it wasn't properly taken care of and the other is infected with BSE, so, it has to be put down. Now you have zero cows, your farm was just foreclosed on because the mortgage company wouldn't help you refinance your mortgage or listen to your pleas about losing your business. You're forced to move in with your mother-in-law, who only lives in a three bedroom house - and to make ends meet, you find yourself working a crummy job for minimum wage and then collecting food stamps.

<a href=".html" target="_blank"><img src="" border="0" alt=" photo Cowface_zps07569c96.jpg"/></a>

Like it.

One teeny typo in last sentence, "gives" should be "give."

Republican - You have two MILLION cows you inherited from your father. You pay undocumented workers sub-minimum wages to take care of them and use the extra profit to donate to candidates who then write laws allowing them to graze on public lands for minimal fees, and to allow you to continue to let their waste pollute the river where the nearby town gets its water and to sell tainted meat without inspections. When people get sick from the meat, you fire them from their jobs at the meat packing plant which you also own. In the newspaper you own, you pay people to write stories about how any one can be rich if they just work hard enough, and how unions and safety nets are bad for economic growth.

You have two cows. You kill both immediately and leave the carcases to rot in the sun. You then blame everyone else for your two dead cows.

... doesn't have a neighbor. Maybe he stole the neighbor's cows and took his land.

Now you produce even more bullshit.

The republican will puff up their sunken chest, squeal like an angry pig about big government and 'those' people, then vote against their best economic interest, all because they don't want 'those' people getting something. They'll vote republican even if it means the loss of their cows to a big cattle rancher.
They might accidentally shoot one of the cows as well, after a heavy night of cow humping.

Complain the next day that they only have one cow left.

Pray to God to make their one cow pregnant.

Burn some witches because it doesn't work.

While burning the witches, steal their cows!

or are the cows doing him?

you apply for government subsidies and produce nothing on your farm. Then complain about "welfare" moms being takers and a drain on society.

an lie about the amount of milk the cows produce.

Once the stock reaches it's maximum value, mortgage the cows until the company has many more times debt than capital.

Make sure the CEO gets at least $30 million per year in compensation.

When the company has been stripped of cash and the assets are mortgaged to the hilt, declare bankruptcy and leave the investors holding the bag, especially if those investors are pension funds.

Lastly, get the government to bail you out so you can buy two new cows and start all over again after changing the name of the company.

...and they both tell you that you're the dumb one in the pasture for thinking such an oversimplified and ham-handed caricature is clever.

send them to the packing house.

Socialist: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

Communist: You wouldn't have had two cows in the first place because all cows are the property of the people.

Democrat: You have two cows. Your neighbor to the left doesn't have any, and your neighbor on the right has a bull...so you loan your neighbor on the left one cow, and offer to give your neighbor on the right a calf if he loans you his bull every spring. Five years later each of you has a small herd of cattle.

Republican: You have two cows. You eat one. You trade the other for a gun so you can help yourself to the Democrats' cows. Six months later you find yourself in prison for cattle rustling. You blame the Democrats for not having repealed the law against rustling yet.

...because you make crap and have no insurance. Besides, cows are bad for the environment. So the government increases the minimum wage, invests in infrastructure and education, raises taxes on the rich, ends reckless financial practices, and penalizes companies for sending jobs overseas. After a few years, you own shares in a soymilk plant.

Republican: Have sex with one cow and send the other to war. Then blame you for poor life decisions.

Damn..that's funny!

for approximately $1000/pound. They would then invest the money in a real estate ponzi scheme, place ill gotten money into a Swiss bank account and then gripe about how corrupt government is.

They talk a lot about how democrats think they should feel ashamed for being successful or they say i am not ashamed of being successful but what does that even mean? I cant fathom how people can even come to that conclusion. i don't know any liberals who think people should feel guilty for success.

Could it be they are letting us in on how they think? do they feel guilty for laying off people to get a bonus even when they don't have to and they will have to rehire people the next quarter to replace them. Are they projecting cause they feel guilty? or is it something in Conservative lizard brain that just latches on to this as some kinda logic, very weird.


Although they should feel guilty for

1.polluting and hurting people around their company's

2.laying off people they don't have to that are assets to the future of the company for a little bonus.

3.evading taxes when they rely so much on tax payer money,like police,roads investment into their infrastructure and government innovation like gps or internet or public education and student loans that give them their pool of employees that intern produce the wealth they acquire.

If this is what they mean well i wouldn't consider this success and yes they should be ashamed.

Conservatives see that as a sign of weakness on our part. The view is "I made it, so can my neighbor. Government doesn't need to be involved." That's a great theory if we're all honest and fair minded. Then we might help our neighbors ourselves. However, greed doesn't generally work that way. Generally, greed drives you to think of ways to screw your neighbors out of their cows, their land, and their routes to market. That is why we need government. At the end of the day, I see far more evil in corporations than I do in Government.

You have no cows. You used to have cows, a happy family, and a full head of teeth. The Republican with the two cows got your cows in exchange for some anti-black, anti-abortion, anti-gay magic beans. You wait patiently for the deal to pay off in the next life.

Nailed it!

Bulls are the only type of cattle mentioned, therefore cows are just malformed bulls. I'll simply wait here and watch some Fox News while my bulls reproduce through parthogenesis. If they don't reproduce, I'll blame evolutionists and The Gayz, then apply for federal farm subsidies, disability, unemployment, and some small business loans.

The bit about the bull is ridiculous, as it does not apply to the correlation they are making. Even the communists would need bulls. They've tried to subtly change the issue from distribution of like things to the ability to make those things.

For continuity of the comparison they are making, they rather should say, "Republican: You have two cows. You go over to your neighbor and trick him into giving you his cow, and you get all the cows and you win."

Aside from the bit about "guilt" which is right wing imagination, the Democrat in that scenario is the most civilized. Left out completely of course, is the fact that there are people with zero cows, and what happens to them.

You have two cows. A tornado rips through your farm, destroying your cow barn. Fortunately your cows were not in it at the time. You get a government loan to rebuild your barn, sell the cows and the barn, move the proceeds offshore, and go bankrupt. Then you buy two more cows.

Complain to the govt and get subsidized for your loss. You don't bother getting more cows.

you complain about high labor costs and taxes, while meanwhile putting your American ranch land into a CRP program and collecting money not to ranch.

I reach out and help them. Period.

I don't fucking tell them to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and I certainly don't give them any so called "straight talk".

I help, without question and without expecting anything in return.

Republicans are absolutely within their rights to not help. You can't blame them, Republicans are nothing if not lazy and helping others is hard work.

Yeah I said it. Republicans are fucking lazy whiners.

No real wannabe rancher or dairy farmer would do something that stupid...iunless they were Teabaggers who know jack squat about modern animal husbandry.

Bizarre Sex Habits of The Extreme Right-Wing
Reported by Ellen - May 6, 2005

Last night, anti-abortion extremist Neal Horsley was a guest on The Alan Colmes Show, a FOX News radio program. The topic was an interesting one - whether or not an internet service provider should allow Horsley to post the names of abortion doctors on his website. Horsley does that as a way of targeting them and one doctor has been killed. In the course of the interview, however, Colmes asked Horsley about his background, including a statement that he had admitted to engaging in homosexual and bestiality sex. Updated with audio!

At first, Horsley laughed and said, "Just because it's printed in the media, people jump to believe it."

"Is it true?" Colmes asked.

"Hey, Alan, if you want to accuse me of having sex when I was a fool, I did everything that crossed my mind that looked like I..."

AC: "You had sex with animals?"

NH: "Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule."

AC: "I'm not so sure that that is so."

NH: "You didn't grow up on a farm in Georgia, did you?"

AC: "Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?"

NH: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality... Welcome to domestic life on the farm..."

More:
http://www.newshounds.us/2005/05/06/bizarre_sex_habits_of_the_extreme_rightwing.php

your neighbors and then...you get it.