these days. I call it the "New Age" crock of horseshit and I hate to admit it, but it's mostly women that fall for this crapola. "Just put up a vision board and paste cutouts of things from magazines that you want in your life and someday those things will magically come into your life." Yeah, right. I tried that. I only had one picture on my "vision board" and that was George Clooney and I'm still waiting for him to call

It hits way too close to the bone for me.

But, in a weird way, reading this gives me some solace knowing that I must not be alone in living this way.

After the 'Neighbor Girl' incident last June, I was going absolutely nuts pulling double duty (working a full time job, taking care of my family/kindergarten age twins) and devoting every spare minute to the Project. I would literally cry with exhaustion, wake up at 2:30 in the morning (after three or four hours of sleep) and *still* beat myself up about how I wasn't doing "enough" --

Finally, about a month or so ago, I hit "the wall" -- this Project isn't a sprint, it is a Freaking Marathon. I had asked for help prior, but the good folks in the Project are extremely busy dealing with children with varying levels of disability, and finally, I just had to say ENOUGH! I can give *this much* of my time on a daily basis, and then I have to have time for *me* and *my family* -- so I have worked on limiting myself.

It isn't "perfect" - I am exhausted, but trying to do just three or four "major" things a week (instead of seven or eight) seems to be helping a little. Of course, I am still constantly beating myself up about how I am not doing "more" but ....

And the families in the Project who are seeing benefit are inspiring as everything. We've also got real live Researchers looking at our results; now we just have to keep pushing things forward.

This week I am only behind on updating approximately 125 records, scheduling a conference call about infant mortality intervention, sending a thank you email / more detail / contact information to a major player in the research community, following up with an NIH perinatology guy (whose research is going in the wrong direction), having a conference call with two manufacturers regarding laboratory assays, following up on the sensory processing/integration issues, putting together a "detail questionnaire" for missing data, modifying the report parameters for better detail in the communication and cognitive changes, working on the paper tieing everything together, following up with the FAQ update project with one of the parents who volunteered, and writing up the description for the four hours of presentation I will be a part of at a conference in April.

It isn't *all* going to get done.

I've only been at my "paying" job since 6:00 a.m. today. Every time I want to "quit" my "volunteer passion" job, I am reminded of the cost if I stop: dead babies, crippled children, and devastated families.

But I have to put a limit on things, otherwise I will simply NOT be able to see this through....

The Onion hit hard this time. My "reward" is unlikely to be monetary. Please, God, let it all be worth it....

It was fixed in the 16th Century and it needs to be fixed again. 24 hours just is not enough for modern times. You EITHER Sleep OR you get YOUR passion accomplished. THAT'S our choice. It's not the choice of the financially well-off who don't have to work for a living. Those who don't have to worry about bills have the luxury of doing whatever, whenever.

Of course, if we fixed another 2-4 hours on to the day, the oligarchs would only find a way to justify working us 10 hours mandatory a day instead of 8.

My MIL totally helps out with my children / child care needs; the woman has also been keeping my house clean (to be fair, it is to keep her sanity since her definition of clean is stricter than mine - lol!), and doing the laundry. (Yes, we compensate her, but not nearly what she is worth, especially because we feel "safe" with the children being with her, which is EXTREMELY important.)

There is no way I could be doing "everything else" without her support, and that of my husband, who also works a very demanding full time job. We are a two-income family making above average wages, and yet we are still counting pennies despite the fact we do NOT live an extravagant lifestyle. We recently did an analysis of "where is the money going" and it is the daily expenses - increased gas and food costs in particular - that have been eating away at our household income.

It is taking THREE adults to manage my household and child care. THREE.

If she quits/has a health issue, one of the balls WILL drop....

Productivity is definitely up, but ....

. . . but she loves the fact that my mom helps out with day care for my niece. Day care itself is another racket, yet surprisingly, I found out not many daycares are profitable.

Things are finally getting better for us financially after a 10-year struggle from 2000-2010. The BushcessionS killed our progress. Years without raises really sucks when you're trying to save for a kid about to head to college.

Balancing quality of care with expense is tough, and unless you have someone willing to help, family's have to decide between "additional income" and child care. My MIL spends between 45-50 hours at our home helping with our children based on our working and transportation back/forth between our jobs. She does not receive minimum wage. Truly looking forward to them being in school full time as first graders for the financial savings (except we are looking at private schooling due to my children's special needs issues - urk!).

if you never try you've defeated yourself before you've begun. The best thing anyone can ever say to me is, "You can't do that!" I've proven "them" wrong over and over again and plan on continuing to do so.

I think with a lot of people, "trying" and "being able to do their passion" isn't the problem. It's finding the TIME to do it. I wish this were just an anecdotal and I didn't have data to back this up, but we work more hours than our industrialized counterparts overseas (varies from 1797 to 1804 hours per year) and see far less benefits (for instance, we have no government mandated vacation or maternity leave; can you imagine what we could do with the 4-6 weeks France, Germany and Scandanavia get??).

Yet what are we supposed to do, just drop everything and decide we're not paying bills/debts? There are some that amazingly say "Yes, that's EXACTLY what you do if you want something bad enough!!" Sorry, but I'm not 22 years old anymore.

but my point is that if you tell yourself you can't do something it ends up becoming a self-fulfilling prophesy. Sometimes if we focus on what we can do, under our limited circumstances, as opposed to what we can't do and why, it gets the mojo (as in momentum) workin' in the right direction. I don't know from "The Secret" but I have learned, from practical experience, what you put out into the cosmos is what you receive. If you emit negativity and defeatism, chances are that's what your experience becomes. Anyway, just something to think about.

It worked for one person and they made a heart warming movie about it, so it will work for you too!!!

Sometimes you can't do both. But sometimes you can figure out a way to do both.

But no matter what you want to do, LEARN MATH.

Even artists need to be able to count. If you can't do arithmetic, you can't even figure out when you've been cheated.

And if you can't learn math, learn to be a whiz at a calculator and a spread sheet.

I don't care if you are a musician or a dancer -- learn math and use it.

Kidding. Musicians tend to have mathematical ability. Not all do, but many do. And many physicists and mathematicians have had musical talent. Einstein is just one example.

in not one but two different places. And that's not even the "hard" part. The hard part follows those, and is marked "Relentlessly; with perfection".

I'm... kind of sick, I guess. I enjoyed slipping those in there.

I actually cackled as I wrote it, as I recall.

"Hehehehahahaheheheh. Conduct this!"

this makes me feel so much better. i need to laugh at it.

... and minimum wages that support a comfortable life with good food, safe shelter, appropriate medical care, and universal literacy.

Employers who demand work more than that, for less pay, thus excluding others from employment, ought to be thrown in prison. In this modern world some kinds of "work ethics" ought to be classified as mental disorders, and demanding employees work overtime for low wages ought to be classified as slavery.

The only exception to work hour limitations ought to be emergency service workers, and then only for highly unusual situations of the sort that occur a few times some years, and not at all other years.

Our "productivity" is killing the planet and We The People are not enjoying all the fruits of technological innovation.

Everyone ought to have leisure time to express their inner artist. The creativity of leisure time is the field upon which true progress and productivity grow.

"The devil finds work for idle hands" is Puritanical bullshit.

Ex.Actly.

It's KILLING us; spiritually, physically and mentally.

employers would not have to pay for lunch, and workers would have time to handle their personal business witout taking vacation or sick or unpaid time.

In the UK, supporting a comfortable life takes... I don't know... more than £10,000 a year and less than £ 30,000, depending on what you mean by comfortable. I suspect that in the US it will be rather higher than in the UK, because costs of healthcare and education are higher. I'll work with £20,000, but feel free to fit another figure into my calculations if you prefer.

A 30 hour working week, working - say - 49 weeks a year, is 1470 hours, so you're looking at a minimum wage of about £13.50, or about $22 per hour.

What fraction of employers will choose to keep all their current staff on at that rate? Or even to continue to base their business in the USA, rather than in other countries? I suspect the answer is "not many".

i'd estimate a good 20-30%. people would be far more productive if they worked less hours...i suggest 6 hours per day. there would be no need for a lunch break, and no extra hours for doing nothing. if every hour really counted, i truly believe people would get as much or more done in 6 hours as they do in 8 hours.

I gave up housework. Seriously. Don't come to my house. I wash dishes and do laundry, and that's about it.

I'm also lucky that I can work four days a week. Plus, I don't have family to take care of. Given all that, I write 5,000 words per week. I thought at some point I'd be able to quit the day job and live on my writing income. Ha! In a couple of years I'll be able to retire, and my time will finally be my own. Of course, I'll be 66 then.

I will say...Don't think you can only do what you love when you're under 40. If you find yourself finally retired and with some time, do that thing you love. If you really love it, you won't be disappointed if you don't make a lot of money at it.

I flutter on and off, and I swear you were the one who told me about her back in 2007... ?

I struggle with CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome), but Mount Washmore is under control thanks to my mother-in-law!

www.flylady.com

I might have told you about it and then forgotten it entirely myself.

I enjoy doing laundry, for some insane reason, so that gets done. I also wash dishes and clean the bathroom when it gets so I can't stand it. Dust? Fuggedabouddit.

On edit: I flunked immediately. I might find 15 minutes to declutter something, but no way could I find another 15 afterward to take a break. I think I'll sign up for the newsletter, anyway.

It is AWESOME and turns dusting from a chore to a giggle. Be warned: it makes EVERYONE (including family members and guests) want to dust! It's hysterical.

There is a 100% guarantee of this for those who never try.

I make art jewelry on nights and weekends. After 6 years, it is starting to really click. I am now getting better invitations to exhibit, and have at least been in the running for awards. It has taken cutting some other things out of life to make room for it. I have been told again and again throughout my life that I should "join the real world" by people I care for. I have always done better when I refused

It is not a matter of "living out my dreams" though. It is hard work, but something I feel at one with. Nothing else I have done feels as natural to me.

I have a plan in place to end the day job and am fully vested in a defined benefit pension from having done it. I like that work too, in what I do there, and that it pays fairly well. I could easily pass on the community I do it in, and will have no regrets at leaving it behind.

The plan now has a timeline and is practicable.

For some lucky people who like to do things that are highly valued - and figure that out before it's too late - that whole "do what you love and the money will follow" works out pretty well.

Another way to think of it is to figure out what kind of things you enjoy doing - or can learn to enjoy doing - that someone wants to pay for. And learn it well enough to start getting paid for it before you get too old.

The key is to find the intersection of what skills make money and what skills you can enjoy (or at least tolerate) spending most of your life exercising and honing.

I cannot understand their views of economics until I realize they are going on faith, religious, and/or, this kind of thing. "Think and Grow Rich" is another. They've internalized the idea that if you are not rich, it is simply because you aren't passionate enough at your job or business.

It may be true in the sense there are a few people out there who live for their work. These people do not have good family lives, because their "passion" comes first. They may generally earn a lot of money.

But not everyone can do that.