If you choose to remarry, and same sex marriage is legal, you'll have twice as many options as you did the first time.

because i know catholics who had no choice in being divorced at all, and can only remarry by paying an annulment bribe, which basically bastardizes their children

wrong

Look at Henry VIII - he didn't let papal decrees get in his way.

How many wives has he had? A few. His first marriage lasted 13 years and the Church 'anullment' allowed him to marry again, which he did, then had a public affair and divorced again.
Rudy says he is opposed to marriage equality because of his Catholic faith. I don't know what his current and two ex wives say about it.

Fine, then let me flat out state that it is your own hypocrisy that allows you to divorce while claiming a faith that rejects divorce. Laws don't effect you because the civil law favors you and you simply do not follow Church dogma when you wish to instead follow the more favorable civil law.

participatory marriage. That doesn't change the fact that I am not able to receive the sacrament or marriage again. I don't get to chose to not follow my faith, simply because as you put it something else is more favorable. That would be moral values of Rudy Giuliani, as someone has mentioned.

"not recognized" by the church. problem solved

Great point. I can use that.

institution, you can remarry any time you wish. Far too many people can't marry at all. There is inequality in marriage.

Sid

aspect of it doesn't apply to me.

The fact that you are legally divorced while your Church rejects divorce should show you that the Church part is just bells and whistles with no legal standing at all. You can not be married without the State you can be married without any Church. Many Churches already marry gay couples, but because of the law it means bells and whistles only. Same as your wedding was just icing on a civil agreement granted by the State. The Church is an optional prop, like having ushers dressed as Elvis.

I had a purely civil wedding and party with no involvement of any clergy.

And if it was a Sacramental spiritual thing, why did it in in dissolution and why did you obtain that dissolution from civil authority? The Church does not enter into divorce, but you are divorced. You went to the State to end the contract the State had made between you and your spouse.

recognition of next of kin, dependents, insurance and all the other benefits you received while still married.

personally.

so they are only in your name now as opposed to jointly owned, like insurance, mortgage etc.?

have any insurance of any kind? Did either of you ever have a hospital stay? Have any kind of medical problems?

paid their bills?

Don't know how you characterize a relationship over that.

"seems". I do know what I'm talking about as far as relationships go though, I think. I've been in the same one for over 40 years. But whatever, you do it your way, as I am sure you will, and I'll do it my way!

you'll be getting a license from the state and your marriage will be recorded by the state. If your marriage is dissolved, that will also be a state matter Further, the state does not give a damn about your religion's prohibition on re-marrying. It doesn't care about any of that.

A religious ceremony has nothing to do with actually being married under the law. You can get married by a civil authority just as solidly as by your priest.

You believe in a particular deonimation's marriage restrictions. That's fine, but it has no relevance to the legality of your marriage. You can remarry any time, as long as your previous marriage ended in divorce and whatever time period your state puts on the completion of that divorce.

I guarantee that the civil aspect of marriage does affect you. It is a legal contract, recorded at your county clerk's office or whatever authority is used by the state. If that's not done, you're not married in the eyes of the state.

effect on everyone. They don't.

Not religious marriage laws.

Somebody is confusing the two.

The civil law applies whether or not the church part does. The religious part is optional.

Marriage is a civil contract.

And yes, I am a lawyer.

There's always some know it all who thinks they have a law degree and are completely wrong.

Two examples: Can you show me in the Texas Family Code where it says I have to change my name to my husband's name?
(No answer. Doesn't say that.) A county clerk in Bexar County refused to register a common law marriage b/c I did not change my name. He committed a misdemeanor by not following the law. He tore up three forms and yanked them out of the typewriter b/c he didn't get the concept.

2. Can you show me in the Texas Family Code where it says that after I live with my boyfriend for six months, we magically wake up one day married??? (No answer. TFC doesn't say that either.)That was the future in-laws. ARRGGHH!

3. "My boyfriend told me that women never have to pay child support." A co-worker. Wrong again. My answer, "I'm a woman and I had to pay child support to my ex husband. Your boyfriend is wrong. Where did he get his law degree?" ....crickets.......

I can tell you where I got mine.

GRRRRRR........

the sacrament of marriage a second time so personally they have me effect on me.

and now you keep yourself in the prison of your church. Sorry if we don't feel sorry for someone who holds the keys to their own jail cell.

It's your choice that you feel marriage laws don't apply to you any more. Other people are still waiting for a chance to have what you had.

If we consistently honored religious institutions with law, you would be refused the right to divorce just as the Church demands others be refused the right to marry. The fact that so many have a 'faith' that they don't even follow but want others to follow is part of the problem. A Vegan who starts eating some meat is no longer a Vegan, but Catholics insist they are Catholics even when they divorce use contraception and claim to support equality. Thus you can say you are a 'divorced Catholic' which is like saying you are a meat eating Vegan really.
You get to have it both ways, so much special treatment and institutional denial is used to allow that double standard.

but you bought one from the State anyway. It is Catholicism that has no effect on your behavior regarding marriage, and which has no effect on your divorce. That seems rather obvious.
You are the rabbi lecturing on Kosher eating while wolfing down a pulled pork sandwich.

concerning your church's needing to change their laws - or learn to live with it.

Civil law has absolutely nothing to do with your particular situation.

except to insert catholicism into the general discussion, again.

I'm so tired of the bigotry.

It doesn't make sense otherwise, especially to the Catholic bashers who I see have already arrived on your thread.

...are making reasonable observations between the religious ceremony of marriage and the civil?

But they know who they are because we have done rounds of battle in the past and they are already baiting the OP so they can go in for the kill.

But go ahead and be confused, but are you really confused?

...As pointed out, you benefit from the separation of church and state in regards to marriage, which means you can be legally married/divorced even if your church says your not (what you believe is up to you). The state didn't enter into your divorce and say, "As you are a Catholic, you are not allowed to divorce...but if you were a different religion you would be allowed to..." Which means your ex-spouse no longer has next-of-kin rights to decide what happens to you if you land in the hospital, etc. I don't know if that's what you wanted, but it certainly makes a HUGE difference to you whether your ex-spouse still has the legal rights of being married to you or is seen, legally, as an ex-spouse with no such legal rights.

If marriage laws were to change, if a particular religious organization could take control and make sure that all civil laws followed its religious teachings, then you could suddenly learn that your Ex is not your Ex and has all those legal rights to you that were dropped in the divorce.

This is why what is going on with marriage laws affect you personally. Because if it is decided that a majority vote and/or religious organization can change them in a state (i.e. take away your right to a legal divorce, for example!), then your legal standing changes. Who has rights to you, your money, etc. changes.

How can that not affect you?

It means I pay higher taxes and have greater overall personal living expenses than married folks. Especially if they have kids.

Our tax code favors "breeders". It always has. WE get punished for being single and child-free.

...come to think of it. Mind you, I'm still very confused as to why anyone would say that marriage laws don't effect them and maybe this story isn't on the mark--but as we seem to be comparing religious marriage laws and civil marriage laws....I had a distant cousin who joined a particular branch of very orthodox Judaism. She married, they had kids. Then they decided to divorce. Now in Judaism, divorce is allowed. So, the rabbis say they're divorce, and the law says they're divorced. What difference do the civil laws make in this instance?

Quite a lot as it turned out. You see, that particular sect of orthodox Judaism held that in a divorce, the husband got all--and exclusive rights to the kids. Meaning that the mother had no right to see them if he didn't want her to, no say in their upbringing, nothing. And her husband was such that he instantly forbade her any contact with the kids.

Suddenly those civil marriage/divorce laws were very important because they said she had as much right to see and raise her kids as her ex-husband (providing, of course, he couldn't legally prove she was an abusive mom or anything like that). And sure enough, thanks to those civil laws she was granted the rights that the religion she belonged to would not grant her. Imagine if marriage was only religious and only what the religion dictated about marriage/divorce was the law in regards to property ownership, children, etc.--she would have never seen her kids again.

I don't know if this is at all relevant to the OP is trying to say--but it seems to me that the marriage laws and resulting divorce laws had a very personal effect on my cousin--who, by the way, is still a very orthodox Jew. And that they certainly do have an effect on everyone and not just in regards to whom can marry whom.

so it affects your possible future choices, whether you can legally remarry or not.

Also, I don't get why you mentioned your are Catholic, does that make some type of difference?

It sounds more like you choose to not remarry so you can remain in good graces with your Church, since, according to it, you are still married. That's distinctly different from not being able to remarry at all, which loads of people, both Catholic and not, do, all the time.

The fact is, you may meet the right person, hit it off, and basically stop caring what the Church thinks. The key is that, regardless of what happens, there are no legal restrictions blocking that choice.

Your choice is to observe your faith as you understand it. It is a choice, either way.

As to your point? You're annoyed because someone on television says marriage laws personally effect you and you don't believe that to be the truth? Do I have it right, or am I missing something?

I don't think it's worth the argument, so I'll give you my thought on it and be on to something else.

"Anti-segregation laws do not personally effect me because I am not black".

Nope, doesn't pass the test.

And I don't for a moment believe this OP is not a slap against GLBTs and how marriage laws the Catholic Church pushed for DO affect us.

community in their struggle for marriage equality.

Is that the point of this OP?