I would not be capable of handling the stress.

I really do not know how to communicate with the RW.

When a group does not believe in math, science, biology, anthropology it is difficult to have a meaning civil conversation.

the emails? Kinda like I do with my right wing, conservative, 'all dems are evil/stupid/dangerous' brother on Facebook. There is a hide feature and I simply hide 95% ( he has good musical taste) and I don't have to be confronted with the ignorance and hate............

sounds like he and my mother would be perfect for each ohter

Explain to him that no two people have the same viewpoint as the other, even within family; that you have acknowledged his right to have his own perspective and that he should do the same for you; that you could send him forwarded email that you know would ruin his day, but you refrain from doing so out of respect. Why shouldn't he have mutual respect for your perspective?

He's a type A+++ that thinks modesty is a bad trait and I'm a type B that thinks modesty is good, even desireable.

"that you could send him forwarded email that you know would ruin his day, but you refrain from doing so out of respect. Why shouldn't he have mutual respect for your perspective?"

He sees my refraining from doing so as weakness or apathy, and thus "ripe for the picking" and a sucker for his preachiness. I'm much more well read than he is, but he thinks I'm not at all just because I'm not constantly spouting my views. I would describe his "delivery" as that of a missionary with the arguing style of a combination of a pushy glib salesman and an angry drunk. ( his career was of being in sales ) After an inevitable blow-up, I can tell he really does feel bad it got that ugly and he tries to be somewhat more concilliatory after that, but it seems he just can't stop politicizing everything and at least try to once again flip me to his political leanings every time we're together. A week? I dunno.............

Since playing nice and hoping he gets the hint hasn't worked, I'm going to try your idea. Thanks again.

I just avoid talking politics at any length and switch to the weather

Bringing up the weather often makes things worse rather than better.

He had nothing but contempt for anyone who didn't think like him. We never got along. When he died two years ago I felt like I was given a new lease on life. I guess I'm a real jerk - haven't missed mom or dad at all. A lot of damage can be done by people who beat you over the head when you have different views from them...........

Sometimes it seems it's no sense trying to keep the whole "but we're family" as the default perspective. but that only works if both sides do this and act in good faith. Although, if politics can be kept out, he's a fascinating person to talk to and we can enjoy each other's company. I would guess that retiring and associating only with other like minded people have removed the normal decorum that would keep nasty behavior in check, and so he's gotten much more opinionated and pushy since he retired. Sometimes I just consider him to be a nasty bastard that just happens to have the same last name as I do.

i refute it with links and hit Reply All.
It doesn't take long after that to stop getting this crap.

My BIL is exactly the same way re: crazy RW emails. What you are experiencing is abuse. You don't have to put up with this. Here is what my wife and I did.

1. Send him an email that is strongly worded - Stop sending me emails immediately. Your email is not wanted. The next email I get from you will be considered harassment. This will violate the Terms of Service of your ISP. I will report your harassment to your ISP. Your internet account may be suspended or canceled.

2. Now follow up and report him. The exact way to do that can be found on the info pages of your father's ISP.

In my case, the BIL stopped sending emails after his ISP communicated directly to him with a WARNING. This worked for about a year and then he started up again. So we did the same harassment/reporting to his ISP again and he stopped again. We have to repeat the process about every 18 months because he "forgets" that he is not allowed to send us email. The BIL also began sending us email using his mother's email address. We followed the process again and he stopped.

Don't worry that you will miss something important to you by stopping all email from your father. If it's an emergency he can always phone you.

As for your upcoming visit. Do not be silent since RW nuts always assume silence is either agreement or weakness. Get into his face a couple of times. Don't wait for him to start abusing you. Take the offense on some topic - taxes for the rich, global warming, reproductive rights, etc.

Stay strong.

If you do, don't feel guilty...in fact, go off on all cylinders. Maybe you'll finally get something through his thick skull.

If you need to get in touch with me, the phone works both ways.

Yeah, I've used this one. Either the act got cleaned up fast or the person went on block. I only had to block a couple of people and one was sufficiently contrite to get the block removed and never sinned again.

You can be his political punching bag only with your permission. If you need to limit his access, so be it, it's sad but not the end of the world.

Either that or get another email account strictly for him and never access it. Except he'll catch on and start using your "old" account.

That was AFTER I did the reply all once--and her friends came out to berate
me for correcting her crap!

After a year or so I relented. And sure enough, she started in again!

She's been blocked ever since. Not relenting this time.

And yes, she's been my SIL for almost 40 years.

I've been accused of being a hardass about stuff like that, but the real hardasses are the ones who want to use me as their punching bag. Um, no, they don't get to do that.

You have to clearly change the behavior. Some people understand nothing else. You may have to demand respect. And give him no further room to operate. You have to show him where the line is. He's pretending he doesn't know.

First get his undivided attention. Narrow your eyes like a junkyard dog. Wait. Several Seconds. Wait. When you have him looking at you, get the coldest look on your face you can manage. Lock onto his eyes, like you do with a naughty child, project daggers (like you would not do to a child). Then say,

"Dad--if you EVER send me ANY rightwing hate mail or your NRA gun propaganda to me EVER again, I'm gone. And don't act like you think I agree with you on all that political stuff, because you know damn well I don't. If you want to talk to me use the phone."

Then you must leave the house immediately.

Don't discuss this with him. Don't be pulled back in. If he brings anything up, turn away, hangup, leave. You may have to reinforce this a few times, but he'll stop. He just won't get any traction. When he behaves in ways you find acceptable, be nice. When he doesn't you give him the cold shoulder. Behavior mod. Often works.

Like the time I was sort of coerced into attending a fourth of July event 8 years ago with some RW GOP family members and I attended wearing a shirt with a large American flag peace symbol on the front. Being direct is the only way to be with them!

He mentioned one his e-mails to me in conversation and I told him that the moment I see they have political content I delete them. I delete all of them. That slowed it down some. Then my (formerly) RW younger sister responded to one of his anti-Obama e-mails by e-mailing back a long message telling him she had a major change in thinking and was supporting Obama, and also for marriage equality, the right to choose, etc. She ended by asking that he not send any more RW crap. That pretty much ended it. Good luck!

Peace.

My dad couldn't even make it through the Clinton administration. When people realize that they are totally irrelevant, they tend to get angry and start yelling/shooting.

But sooner or later, that's it. Sometimes they are your relatives... and that's a hard thing to watch. I feel for you.