having been a 14/15 year old boy at one time, I would have screwed anything that moved

most boys that age would too

1991, Marin County, California.

Most male freshmen would love to have sex, and I would wager most would pick (if they had a choice) a senior over a freshman for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that seniors are more likely to be physically fully developed, "womanly", at least as compared to the average freshman.

Sure, a lot of 14-year-old boys would have sex with any woman who says "yes".

That doesn't mean after a few more years of growing up they won't realize they were being manipulated by sex.

I predict many well-considered, reasonable posts that match the serious inquiry and careful erudtion of the OP!

I will, however, need...

When I was in high school, a student was secretly dating the band director. When she graduated, they got married.

Sorry if my comment is off topic, but I just had to tell this story. Back then in 1974 it was more taboo than anything. (Like marrying your cousin) I think the band director kept his job after they got married.

The girl graduated a year before I started, and he married her right before band camp that summer. He kept his job (this was 1983). Then my senior year there were rumors swirling about him being involved with another student. He quit that year, and was divorced soon after. To my knowledge he still coaches the girl's softball team.

There was also a drama teacher who there were rumors about involvement with a student- who also left the school abruptly and divorced her husband (who also taught at the school) during my senior year.

60's. It was the talk of the town. He kept his job and they had a happy marriage until his death.

Boys = dirty, horny little beasts who cannot be manipulated wrt sex issues (Ha!).

The fact that your personal story is met with disbelief illustrates the sexist and hypocritical view that people have as boys and men as victimizers who want to put their dirty little penises in everything that moves and women as pure protectors of their own golden sexuality.

manipulative person to begin with. There is some evidence that girls mature faster and are more emotionally on par with older boys (although that's still too much of an age difference) but a girl with a younger boy would have an even further gap when you add in the emotional immaturity. Sorry, but I think there's something wrong with that large of an age difference either way, and in both instances the younger person could be taken advantage of.

So, becuase girls mature quicker than boys, they must analyze their feelings for a younger boy and then act upon or not act upon that analyzation?

I remember being 14 and 15 and 16. God forbid I liked a boy and kissed him and maybe, just maybe, did other things. I came from a strict Catholic household and was still allowed to, oh my God, hang out with boys!!! The horror.

Come on...kids fall for each other all the time. It's all about growing up.

Geez people, we're talking about HS kids. They have feelings and urges and sometimes they act upon them. Why all this talk of being criminally liable and pressing charges and the like? I am SO GLAD that I am not a kid these days.

different things. Girls show more emotional maturity than boys at that age. That to me exacerbates the age gap when a woman is older, and somewhat mitigates when a boy is older. It's not an excuse, just pointing out that a girl who is 18 and a boy who is 14 are in very different places physical age wise, adding the emotional difference only adds to the disparity.

I was having sex with a senior. It made me feel like the coolest kid in school because she was cute and I was a freshman.

nt

XemaSab

Never had a relationship with an upper class girl myself, wasn't cool enough. You had to be high on the food chain to aim for a senior or junior girl as a freshman.

Sorry to disappoint.

I believe your story now

I definitely do. Not too surprising. I won't rule out that Kaitlyn Hunt's partner may also change her POV.

As we mature, we get a clearer picture of what's going on.

I fell in love with a boy who was a freshman. Granted, he was only a year younger than me, but circumstances of our birth dates and where we started school (and the fact that he had to repeat a year) meant that he was in jr. high the year I graduated. We broke up because my parents thought we were too young to be so serious, but...

...after a 40-year separation we reunited and have now been married for almost 10 years. There are many different circumstances, and no one size fits all.

I've missed your posts or just haven't seen many lately.

Hope things are well in Alaska.

so I've only been on here sporadically. ( Before that, we had sheetrockers in our house for almost a month, so i wasn't posting much then, either. ) We're leaving Sitka this afternoon on the ferry, will be in Juneau for two nights, then Skagway, Whitehorse, Tok, and home. Back to the painting, getting the garden in and more political responsibilities than I like to think about. It's going to be a busy summer.

A teacher...actually a principal... married a 14 year old pupil.

They were married forever.

The famous historians Will and Ariel Durant.

JMHO

Not all girls, but they said it specifically about quite a few they knew. Age doesn't matter much once you get into High School. Teens can be pretty bad.

Seniors dating Freshmen just tends to happen.
And yes, many use their status as Seniors to get their way.

Heck, as you grow older, that type of things still happen. The rich and celebrities use their status to get their way on some.
Which can lead someone to be victimized.

However, I feel like, whatever happens in high school in the dating scene should remain in high school.
Unless it is rape, I don't see the need to get in the way of high schoolers learning dating relationships.

perfectly stated

a girl who was a senior. She manipulated me, and I did have sex with her, following the manipulation. I was a willing, cooperative victim of her desires. I don't believe I ever regretted it at all.

There are laws and there are people. Laws are invented to protect and control people but the fit isn't always the same. Nor is the aftermath static.

...I spent almost all of my freshman year 71-72 dating a HS senior.

We met during a school play where our all boys school "imported" actresses and musicians from other schools. And there were a lot of other schools on the south side of Chicago from which to import talented actresses and musicians.

Maybe it's the benevolent haze of memory but I don't have any regrets. When to her high school prom with her at a ritzy downtown hotel. Knew her folks, I was geeky but they seemed cool. Never any shit from them over phone calls or dates (she drove family car). It wasn't some secret around school. We went on double-dates, sometimes with her friends where I was the youngest, sometimes with my friends where she was the oldest. It was sort of "big freaking deal - so he's dating _______". I happened to be dating a senior. I had friends who were dating juniors and sophomores.

By prom it was a little more than just dating. A good time was had by all and, as someone up-thread said, as a high school freshman boy, all I really remember about those last couple weeks was "life is good". She graduated. We had the "let's just be friends" conversation during the summer. She went to college in-town. We'd run into each other sometimes in the neighborhood and say hi but everyone moved on.

I never regretted the time. Never felt victimized or manipulated and never felt like I had "missed" some meaningful period of my life because I spent time with "an older woman".

I grew up (I think). Had meaningful relationships. Got married. Have great kids, several of whom are now in what appear to be great relationships.

I share this not because I think I'm somehow special but rather, because I'm somehow normal. I don't think I was ruined for life and last I knew, about 20 years ago, neither was she.

Maybe it's a different world. I rode a bike without a helmet and survived that too but I think there was a real opportunity here for all the parents in Florida to just let summer do it's thing and none of this would be front page news. My experience tells me these relationships rarely survive the cultural divide of HS vs. College.

dating a 19 year old. Granted, he was a friend of my older brother, and my family knew him well, and loved him. We never had sex, nor did he ever try to manipulate me into doing so - though there were some pretty crazy make-out sessions. He was always a gentleman -and 20 some odd years later, we're still good friends.

I would never discount the feelings of someone else just because my own experience was different.

Same with kids who drive.

I know I'm not going to change cherished U.S. cultural traditions, but I'd adjust the school system so that everyone is expected to graduate from high school while they are still minors. I'd also bump the driving age from sixteen to eighteen. Their might be a few high school seniors with learning permits, but none would be driving cars to and from school.

The only physical relationships I had in high school were with bullies physically assaulting me. A sexual relationship between a senior and a freshman doesn't seem so abhorrent compared to the abuse a lot of kids suffer.

Of course here in the U.S.A. bloody violence and mayhem might earn a movie a "PG-13" rating, while an entirely non-violent romantic comedy with naked people could get an "R" or the dreaded "NC-17."