The presidents of the world’s two greatest superpowers issued a surprise joint statement today intended to ‘clear up certain misunderstandings’ in the light of recent revelations that both countries routinely engage in massive deep state surveillance operations.
‘I fully intended to skewer my gracious host for his hypocrisy in constantly making allegations about Chinese ‘cyberwarfare’ while securing access to basically what everyone is doing everywhere’ said China’s Xi.
‘But all I could say was ‘dude, that’s awesome.’

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Asked if the new-found friendship between the two would lead to a weakening of the US pivot to Asia, President Obama said that he thought it time to revive the policy of spheres of interest.
“We’re interested in what you lot are doing, President Xi’s interested in what his lot are doing. “
President Xi agreed. “Just so long as everyone’s covered. That’s the important thing.”