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Gravitycollapse

(8,155 posts)
Sun Jun 16, 2013, 11:37 PM Jun 2013

Breaking News: Notorious liars claim they're telling the truth.

The NSA pushed back against claims that the federal government mined telephone data and other information on US citizens.

"We just can't believe such a malicious attack would be waged against this distinguished institution," said one employee as he feverishly jammed paper into 5 separate shredders, 20 sheets at a time, with one hand while using the other to smash hundreds of hard drives with a hammer. "Frankly, we're offended and hurt. We have feelings too, you know and you guys just trampled all over them."

In spite of the onslaught of criticism in recent days, NSA workers expressed optimism that the truth will eventually come out.

"The truth? Yeah...we're all looking forward to the day that Americans know we're here to protect them," said one analyst as sweat poured from his brow.

"This flask is apple juice, by the way," claimed another man as he took several swigs and coughed gingerly into his shirt sleeve. "But, yeah, we all expect the truth to be revealed in the coming days. Now, if you'd excuse me, I have to go find my passport"


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Breaking News: Notorious liars claim they're telling the truth. (Original Post) Gravitycollapse Jun 2013 OP
Snowden could have been a millionaire RobertEarl Jun 2013 #1
One former collegue had something to say about Snowden... Gravitycollapse Jun 2013 #2
Oreos RobertEarl Jun 2013 #3
Funniest shit ever!!!! Liberal_Stalwart71 Jun 2013 #5
you're a pervert Skittles Jun 2013 #6
That'll give you cancer. OnyxCollie Jun 2013 #7
We knew we were being watched .Patriots don't collude with foreign governments. okaawhatever Jun 2013 #4
Hard choice. Guy who had a girlfriend in Hawaii. Or, the NSA who has spies everywhere? Tierra_y_Libertad Jun 2013 #8
 

RobertEarl

(13,685 posts)
1. Snowden could have been a millionaire
Sun Jun 16, 2013, 11:57 PM
Jun 2013

All he had to do was download info that would fetch big money from black marketeers.

But No! He has to go and do the Patriotic thing and let the world know we are being watched.

He coulda been rich.....

Gravitycollapse

(8,155 posts)
2. One former collegue had something to say about Snowden...
Sun Jun 16, 2013, 11:59 PM
Jun 2013

"He wore too much cologne and one time didn't share his Oreos even though I told him I had low blood sugar"

 

RobertEarl

(13,685 posts)
3. Oreos
Mon Jun 17, 2013, 12:19 AM
Jun 2013

I haven't had an oreo is a long time. I wish I had an oreo right now. And a glass of milk. See you take the oreo and dip it in the milk and the combination is delicious. And you can twist the oreos apart and lick the creamy middle out. Like cunnilingus. Damn, now I wished I had an oreo, a glass of milk, and a woman. You know what men and woman can do?

okaawhatever

(9,462 posts)
4. We knew we were being watched .Patriots don't collude with foreign governments.
Mon Jun 17, 2013, 01:19 AM
Jun 2013

I'll look you up when it's revealed that he's an agent for china. Don't kid yourself, Snowden isn't noble, or patriotic or honest. He's a narcissistic dbag who sold his country out.

 

Tierra_y_Libertad

(50,414 posts)
8. Hard choice. Guy who had a girlfriend in Hawaii. Or, the NSA who has spies everywhere?
Mon Jun 17, 2013, 02:52 AM
Jun 2013

Guy who has boxes in his garage, or a bunch spies who have info on everyone?

Guy who releases info about who's spying on us, or the spies who are spying on us?

Guy who fudged on his resume, or guys who have a long record of deceiving the people?

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