The early bird gags on the worm. Please come CAPTION Bill O'Reilly!!!

Bill ("There are never enough mirrors&quot O'Reilly is saying, "On a final note: This so-called Republican 'war against women' is simply poppycock! It's a fictional agenda that the Democrats and their cronies dreamt up to pin on the conservatives. The timing of the current series of strict state abortion laws passed into law by Republican houses and signed by Republican governors, in fact, is simply a coincidence. . . . There was no coordination. There was no planning! . . . Period!. . . No scheme hatched at a secret Koch brothers' conclave. . . . No nothing. . . Simply a pipe dream of the progressives. . . . In fact the Republicans want to give women more control of their own bodies. . . . Just as soon as they show that they can be responsible and care for themselves in accordance traditionally positive human values. . . . I wouldn't hold my breath. . . Now on to our top story: Why are Hillary Clinton's friends all so evil?"