How many of these people afraid of unwanted advances... are prone to making unwanted advances towards the sex they find attractive?

It's is usually hard to tell whether it is wanted or not until you do it.

Sometimes it is not, usually it is.

It really should be debated.

Perhaps a definition of advance? Is there hierarchy of "advance"? For example, a "sexual" advance as opposed to a "friendly" advance?

Have women endured "advances" far too long and find irony that men feel the phobia of it happening to them as well?

Is an advance simply defined by the person that does not want it?

It is taught in my workplace, that an unwanted advance is defined by a person telling you so. In effect, you are allowed one "tasteful" advance to find out if it is wanted. It falls upon the person being advanced upon to declare it as unwanted. At that point there is no harm done. If there is a second advance, it is defined as unwanted, can be defined as sexual harassment, and a violation of company policy.

Is this rather standard? Can it apply to all advances regardless of sexual orientation?

If it's a gay male hitting on a straight male, it could be years of pent up homophobia or, more likely, the latter's insecurity in his sexual identity.

Straight male to female, likely a fear that the former will escalate if rejected.

Any smaller, more vulnerable person might.

Among those of us who are less socially adept, being hit on without either warning or preamble can lead to incredibly complex feelings of social anxiety. Having semi-recently been hit upon by a coworker, my thought process was thus:

I'm taken
How can I let her down without hurting her feelings
She's a coworker
She's a sweet woman
She's an attractive woman
Again, she's a coworker
Her English skills are subpar
How does the company view relationships like this

Et cetera, et cetera.

However, on the exterior, I was stammering and caught aback, quite possibly looking like I was afflicted with some degree of rampant idiocy. In the end, everything worked out, but the road to that point was mentally and emotionally draining. It has always been this way for me, and to be blunt, almost any attempt at "hitting on" against me is unwelcome and undesired simply for the social anxiety it sparks. I am neither flattered nor complimented by it, and I would prefer to avoid it if at all possible.

He will have his way with my tender, delicate bunghole! I don't wanna get prison raeped!!!1 Silly gay guy, dicks are for chicks! Those movies from the 50s taught me how all homosexuals are rapists and child molesters! The GOP said so!

(gratuitous time to repost this video

If unwanted sexual attention created prejudice and phobia, I think the problem would be worse among women, who routinely have to figure out how to deal with exactly that.

Assuming you're a straight male.

1. Take it as a personal attack on your masculinity and sexual identity. We'll call these people "homophobes," or if you prefer a shorter, easier term to remember, you can go with "assholes."

or

2. Take it as a compliment, be flattered, and go about the rest of the day knowing that someone out there thinks you're sexy and/or good looking (or, in my case, "has a nice personality&quot . Lets call these people the "NOT insecure." Again, if you prefer a shorter term, I'd recommend "people who are not total insecure assholes."

I'm a straight man. I've been hit on by gay men. It did not turn me gay, nor did I feel obligated to have gay sex. Instead, it gave me a smile and a pleasant boost to my confidence. In fact, one of the best (and saddest) compliments I've ever had was from a friend who said, "I wish you were gay." It's simple, but at the time struck me as rather profound.

I laughed, politely turned him down, and walked back to my table thinking "Still got it!"

I like confident people.

Sad that they felt constrained to include a kind of apologia for what presumably was simply a search for knowledge and understanding.

Lest, of course, somebody accuse them of harboring unclean thoughts.

I found it puzzling but certainly don't live in fear of it.

Most homophobes are probably ok with male on female rape, I suspect, and so they project by assuming that gay men want to and will rape THEM.

I sensed a lot of fear from the homophobes I've known through the years.

who are generally still insecure about their sexuality and their social standing. I wonder what the results would have been if they had been adults who've grown into themselves and their sexuality.

I don't really care for the way the study was represented to be honest. It takes a reaction to being confronted, with something your afraid, of and assumes the act of being confronted causes the action - I think its more likely not the act of being confronted, but rather the fear of what may be which is a possible outcome of their perceived confrontation.

This type of thinking drives me nuts. Not every gay man wants to hit on you! Not every lesbian woman wants to hit on you! And if it does happen, take the compliment. Whats the big deal? These people never get hit on by members of the opposite sex they arent interested in? Whats the damn difference?

you, you're a fucking homophobe to begin with.