General Discussion

The Straight Story

(48,121 posts) Thu Jul 18, 2013, 01:53 PM Jul 2013

Snake jumps out of toilet, bites man’s penis

After going to restroom to relieve himself, man reports 'burning sensation on penis' as result of a small snake which slithered out of toilet, bit him in sensitive area. Snake reportedly not venomous, man feeling well

A 35-year-old man from northern Israel was bitten on his penis Friday by a snake that slithered out from inside his toilet. The man sustained light injuries.

MDA paramedics who were alerted to the scene evacuated the man to Rambam Medical Center in Haifa, where he received medical treatment. An examination revealed the snake was not venomous.

The man told the paramedics that he went to the bathroom to relieve himself and suddenly felt "a sharp burning sensation on his penis."

One of the paramedics said that the man claimed to have seen the snake before it slithered down the toilet, and according to him the snake was very small.

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-4404382,00.html

53 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Snake jumps out of toilet, bites man’s penis (Original Post) The Straight Story Jul 2013 OP

Thanks for this Warpy Jul 2013 #1

At least nobody had to suck out the poison. bunnies Jul 2013 #2

BWAHAHAHAHAHA cliffordu Jul 2013 #5

Like the old joke said COLGATE4 Jul 2013 #23

! Mojorabbit Jul 2013 #26

and land you in jail..... dhill926 Jul 2013 #40

Yep. bunnies Jul 2013 #42

"The doc says you're gonna die ..." Bake Jul 2013 #46

Gives a whole new meaning to "drain the snake". . . Journeyman Jul 2013 #3

Or snaking the drain. Orrex Jul 2013 #19

One of my worst fears. Thanks. AllINeedIsCoffee Jul 2013 #4

Stand by for the SyFy Channel movie of the week... SomethingFishy Jul 2013 #6

The Lounge is crying because this was posted in GD. hedgehog Jul 2013 #7

Tell em to go whine in meta. Oh...wait.... The Straight Story Jul 2013 #10

Fangs, Obama! pinboy3niner Jul 2013 #8

lol! bunnies Jul 2013 #44

And I put the blame for this squarely on Republicans 1-Old-Man Jul 2013 #9

Now that's what I call a penis length adder Orrex Jul 2013 #11

Nah. Sounds more like a wood snake. bunnies Jul 2013 #30

Or a Peckered Garter Snake pinboy3niner Jul 2013 #36

Or maybe a white-lipped viper... bunnies Jul 2013 #41

Finally, a credible argument against circumcision Orrex Jul 2013 #12

"No," said the man. "I asked for a penis WIPER." Orrex Jul 2013 #13

Are you quite finished? LisaLynne Jul 2013 #17

If it had been an eel, we could talk about social morays Orrex Jul 2013 #20

I think I read about that once... pinboy3niner Jul 2013 #22

You're very good at this BainsBane Jul 2013 #32

LOL! Did you hear the one about the cock-eyed serpent? Orrex Jul 2013 #43

Bravo...10/10....Four stars...Two thumbs up Blue_Tires Jul 2013 #25

Holy hell... Agschmid Jul 2013 #14

We're all dawgs. Some of us are Setters, some are Pointers. Buns_of_Fire Jul 2013 #39

The phrase "come to daddy" will never be the same for me. bunnies Jul 2013 #45

I actually usually check for spiders! Haha Agschmid Jul 2013 #50

He also reported a pain in the asp. Orrex Jul 2013 #15

And he asked doctors to relieve the pain but keep the swelling Orrex Jul 2013 #16

If that is all it takes to make it bigger I will be doing some nude hiking The Straight Story Jul 2013 #18

Just watch out for dicks. I mean ticks. bunnies Jul 2013 #27

The leeches are salivating at the news pinboy3niner Jul 2013 #31

And this is why I stand when I pee... belcffub Jul 2013 #21

Where's Samuel L. Jackson when we need him? backscatter712 Jul 2013 #24

I'm tired... pinboy3niner Jul 2013 #29

Two-eyed snake bites one-eyed snake Blue Owl Jul 2013 #28

It's a blasphemy not to post this in the lounge! Baitball Blogger Jul 2013 #33

Done KamaAina Jul 2013 #35

Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "trouser snake" KamaAina Jul 2013 #34

Perhaps it was a hognose. bunnies Jul 2013 #37

Maybe it was a garter snake and he decided to try it on Orrex Jul 2013 #47

Little did he know it was a balls python. bunnies Jul 2013 #48

Jumps!!! madokie Jul 2013 #38

The jumping isn't so surprising, but the Double Layout Full In may have been a bit much pinboy3niner Jul 2013 #49

First thread that ever made me press my knees together BeyondGeography Jul 2013 #51

And then the snake departed, flush with victory pinboy3niner Jul 2013 #52

Milk Snake. nt pinboy3niner Jul 2013 #53

Warpy

(111,327 posts)

1. Thanks for this

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 01:54 PM

Jul 2013

I'll never be able to sit on the throne and read again.

bunnies

(15,859 posts)

2. At least nobody had to suck out the poison.

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 01:56 PM

Jul 2013

It woulda been a completely different story.

cliffordu

(30,994 posts)

5. BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Reply to bunnies (Reply #2)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 01:58 PM

Jul 2013

Right you are......

COLGATE4

(14,732 posts)

23. Like the old joke said

Reply to bunnies (Reply #2)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 02:52 PM

Jul 2013

-"that's when you find out who your friends are".

Mojorabbit

(16,020 posts)

26. !

Reply to bunnies (Reply #2)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:08 PM

Jul 2013

dhill926

(16,351 posts)

40. and land you in jail.....

Reply to bunnies (Reply #2)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:43 PM

Jul 2013

in Virginia evidently.....

bunnies

(15,859 posts)

42. Yep.

Reply to dhill926 (Reply #40)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:51 PM

Jul 2013

The cooch is really trying to put the virgin in Virginia. Those idiots just dont know when to stop being assholes do they.

Bake

(21,977 posts)

46. "The doc says you're gonna die ..."

Reply to bunnies (Reply #2)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 04:06 PM

Jul 2013

Punchline to very old but still funny joke!

Bake

Journeyman

(15,037 posts)

3. Gives a whole new meaning to "drain the snake". . .

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 01:56 PM

Jul 2013

Orrex

(63,220 posts)

19. Or snaking the drain.

Reply to Journeyman (Reply #3)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 02:32 PM

Jul 2013

AllINeedIsCoffee

(772 posts)

4. One of my worst fears. Thanks.

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 01:57 PM

Jul 2013

SomethingFishy

(4,876 posts)

6. Stand by for the SyFy Channel movie of the week...

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 01:59 PM

Jul 2013

Snakes In The Bowl?

Snakes Down The Drain?

A Snake Named Johnson?

Snakenado?

Don't Put Your Snake Near The Snake?

hedgehog

(36,286 posts)

7. The Lounge is crying because this was posted in GD.

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 02:00 PM

Jul 2013

The Straight Story

(48,121 posts)

10. Tell em to go whine in meta. Oh...wait....

Reply to hedgehog (Reply #7)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 02:03 PM

Jul 2013

pinboy3niner

(53,339 posts)

8. Fangs, Obama!

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 02:00 PM

Jul 2013

bunnies

(15,859 posts)

44. lol!

Reply to pinboy3niner (Reply #8)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:52 PM

Jul 2013

I wanna see that gif.

1-Old-Man

(2,667 posts)

9. And I put the blame for this squarely on Republicans

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 02:02 PM

Jul 2013

Somehow, some way, it had to be them.

Orrex

(63,220 posts)

11. Now that's what I call a penis length adder

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 02:05 PM

Jul 2013

bunnies

(15,859 posts)

30. Nah. Sounds more like a wood snake.

Reply to Orrex (Reply #11)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:20 PM

Jul 2013

pinboy3niner

(53,339 posts)

36. Or a Peckered Garter Snake

Reply to bunnies (Reply #30)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:39 PM

Jul 2013

Wait...what's that? It's CHECKERED Garter Snake? Well, that's very different!

bunnies

(15,859 posts)

41. Or maybe a white-lipped viper...

Reply to pinboy3niner (Reply #36)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:44 PM

Jul 2013

I hear they spit.

Orrex

(63,220 posts)

12. Finally, a credible argument against circumcision

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 02:08 PM

Jul 2013

Orrex

(63,220 posts)

13. "No," said the man. "I asked for a penis WIPER."

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 02:09 PM

Jul 2013

LisaLynne

(14,554 posts)

17. Are you quite finished?

Reply to Orrex (Reply #13)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 02:15 PM

Jul 2013

Orrex

(63,220 posts)

20. If it had been an eel, we could talk about social morays

Reply to LisaLynne (Reply #17)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 02:36 PM

Jul 2013

I'll be here all week!

pinboy3niner

(53,339 posts)

22. I think I read about that once...

Reply to Orrex (Reply #20)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 02:51 PM

Jul 2013

...in Anacondé Nast.

BainsBane

(53,053 posts)

32. You're very good at this

Reply to Orrex (Reply #20)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:24 PM

Jul 2013

Duzy to you and several others here.

Orrex

(63,220 posts)

43. LOL! Did you hear the one about the cock-eyed serpent?

Reply to BainsBane (Reply #32)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:52 PM

Jul 2013

Blue_Tires

(55,445 posts)

25. Bravo...10/10....Four stars...Two thumbs up

Reply to Orrex (Reply #13)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 02:56 PM

Jul 2013

Agschmid

(28,749 posts)

14. Holy hell...

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 02:09 PM

Jul 2013

I sit to pee (I've heard it allows a better clearing of the bladder and may be better for prostate health?)... that is NO more.

Buns_of_Fire

(17,191 posts)

39. We're all dawgs. Some of us are Setters, some are Pointers.

Reply to Agschmid (Reply #14)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:42 PM

Jul 2013

I learned growing up in south Florida to ALWAYS check under the seat before communing with nature. Having a daddy longlegs tickle your nether regions may be somewhat stimulating, but...

bunnies

(15,859 posts)

45. The phrase "come to daddy" will never be the same for me.

Reply to Buns_of_Fire (Reply #39)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:57 PM

Jul 2013

thanks.

Agschmid

(28,749 posts)

50. I actually usually check for spiders! Haha

Reply to Buns_of_Fire (Reply #39)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 05:01 PM

Jul 2013

Orrex

(63,220 posts)

15. He also reported a pain in the asp.

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 02:10 PM

Jul 2013

Orrex

(63,220 posts)

16. And he asked doctors to relieve the pain but keep the swelling

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 02:15 PM

Jul 2013

The Straight Story

(48,121 posts)

18. If that is all it takes to make it bigger I will be doing some nude hiking

Reply to Orrex (Reply #16)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 02:17 PM

Jul 2013

bunnies

(15,859 posts)

27. Just watch out for dicks. I mean ticks.

Reply to The Straight Story (Reply #18)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:16 PM

Jul 2013

pinboy3niner

(53,339 posts)

31. The leeches are salivating at the news

Reply to The Straight Story (Reply #18)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:23 PM

Jul 2013

belcffub

(595 posts)

21. And this is why I stand when I pee...

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 02:50 PM

Jul 2013

I do sit sometimes while using the bathroom... but its an odds thing...

backscatter712

(26,355 posts)

24. Where's Samuel L. Jackson when we need him?

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 02:54 PM

Jul 2013

pinboy3niner

(53,339 posts)

29. I'm tired...

Reply to backscatter712 (Reply #24)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:19 PM

Jul 2013

Blue Owl

(50,486 posts)

28. Two-eyed snake bites one-eyed snake

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:16 PM

Jul 2013

n/t

Baitball Blogger

(46,755 posts)

33. It's a blasphemy not to post this in the lounge!

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:25 PM

Jul 2013

KamaAina

(78,249 posts)

35. Done

Reply to Baitball Blogger (Reply #33)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:28 PM

Jul 2013

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018437500

KamaAina

(78,249 posts)

34. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "trouser snake"

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:25 PM

Jul 2013

bunnies

(15,859 posts)

37. Perhaps it was a hognose.

Reply to KamaAina (Reply #34)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:40 PM

Jul 2013

When it sees a hog... it knows.

Orrex

(63,220 posts)

47. Maybe it was a garter snake and he decided to try it on

Reply to bunnies (Reply #37)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 04:10 PM

Jul 2013

bunnies

(15,859 posts)

48. Little did he know it was a balls python.

Reply to Orrex (Reply #47)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 04:26 PM

Jul 2013

madokie

(51,076 posts)

38. Jumps!!!

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 03:42 PM

Jul 2013

slithers maybe but jump

pinboy3niner

(53,339 posts)

49. The jumping isn't so surprising, but the Double Layout Full In may have been a bit much

Reply to madokie (Reply #38)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 04:37 PM

Jul 2013

BeyondGeography

(39,377 posts)

51. First thread that ever made me press my knees together

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 05:39 PM

Jul 2013

pinboy3niner

(53,339 posts)

52. And then the snake departed, flush with victory

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 07:36 PM

Jul 2013

I hope we're not milksnaking this joke too much...

pinboy3niner

(53,339 posts)

53. Milk Snake. nt

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Thu Jul 18, 2013, 11:11 PM

Jul 2013

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