I have a daughter in the same situation only she is 54 years old. She was laid off when her company went bust several years back. She can't find a job that pays anything because of her age. She can barely get by, she dropped her health insurance because she could no longer pay the $300 a month premium. I hope she stays healthy until the Obamacare kicks in. Making her house payment is a monthly crisis. I sell on the internet and I pay her help me out, going to the post office, taking my pictures etc. Now,she has a web site that is bringing in some money. She was once a dog trainer and gets some private lessons. There is lot of good people out there who are in the same situation, this is the new reality. You go to fast food and it is no longer a teenager waiting on you, but a young adult or an older person. The American middle class is slowly slipping away.

Dickens should haunt us every day.

For some reason we all seem to be judgmental by nature. Perhaps it's just easier than recognizing our own faults or doing something about the problem.

There are millions of people like your daughter who, no matter how hard they try, have the deck stacked against them. Billions, if you look around the world. But, they stumble on surviving and become invisible. When they become visible, like homeless on the streets, we simply make living on the streets illegal and create our version of the Potemkin village.

It's not just money that makes it easy for the wealthy-- they have choices. You mention yachts. Years ago Carter tried a Federal $10,000 luxury tax on large boats that immediately sent new boat sales tumbling. Viking, Bertram, and the others laid off hundreds of workers when they had no sales. The thing was, nobody needed a new 50' Hatteras and just wouldn't buy one if you pissed them off with a tax.

One could argue that the returning jobs made the repeal of the tax worth it and that's a fairly good argument. But, what about the underlying argument that the rich should pay for schools, roads, day care, medical care and other things just out of the reach of so many? What about the argument that better schools make us a better and more productive population? And that the rich are better off with a productive population?

We are succumbing to the argument that money spent on improving the lives of the general population is money wasted. Even the Koch brothers don't believe that-- the hundreds of millions they spend on charity belie that. They just don't believe government should be spending the money.

Not while there are wealthy people like the Koch's who seek to divide us. Unfortunately propaganda works all too well, as you have seen with your neighbors. In the absence of such propaganda, they might very well seek to help the less fortunate. I don't see anyway of getting rid of hate radio and Faux.

of a century. Parent voters must not vote for neo-facsists who have won so many elections. Glad to see your VOICE here; we must talk to everyone, even out right wing nutty neighbors and family members. We must all MARCH to the voting booth next election.

All hail the One Percenters. God knows North Carolina does!

"Chiropractors are losing a sales tax break that may increase the cost of vitamins and other nutritional supplements for their patients. Newspapers would have to charge sales tax to subscribers or those who buy from vending machines. And sales tax holidays for school supplies and energy-efficient appliances would disappear."

During this last Christmas Season-2012, I kept a look out for the traditional Christmas movie, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens (the story of Ebeneser Scrooge-money-changer). I had a feeling that the corporate controlled media would not allow it to be played on the broadcast stations beginning this year (2012). My hypothesis was correct.

Will the movie, Its a Wonderful Life be removed also?

Both the workers and real small business were effected by a few at the top where the wealth drifted upward to a few.

Charles Dickens finished his novel in 1843. It reminds me of the Old South right up to the Civil War. Beginning shortly after the Civil War, the economy lead to the robber barons that were stopped for a time by FDR in the 1930s. The trend has been reversed due to the rise of neo-fascism and Reaganomics.

and remove We the People from democratic government.

http://www.theprogressiveprofessor.com/?tag=john-birch-society

as you know. moved out the other day for the third time. this one is roommates and not boyfriend, maybe it will last longer, or maybe she will boomerang back faster.
but working 2 jobs to share an apartment will make it damn hard for her to get back into college and get finished, even tho we would pay her tuition.

well, perhaps we will have a boom in multigenerational housing that will work for a generation. then people will start to remember why levittown was so attractive.

so I have some understanding of your situation. You are fortunate that your daughter is hard-working and independent.

Both of mine dropped out of several colleges, neither has any sort of degree. I can't understand why, since both were good students in high school.

One worked as a nanny for many years but got tired of it; now she lives with a boyfriend and works part-time in a bookstore. She makes minimum wage, and that's the only work she can find. We pay her student loans.

The other lives at home with us and works part time as a waitress but earns very little. She does have some health issues. We pay for her health insurance, car insurance, car expenses and student loan debt.

As a result we are able to save almost nothing for retirement. I often wonder what things will be like in 10 years, when my husband would be able to retire. I haven't been able to find work in nearly five years despite sending application after application into the void. I can't do anything that involves standing or lifting.

I worry a lot about what on earth we're going to do when we have to survive on Social Security (if the damned repukes don't destroy it). We won't be able to support them, and they likely won't be in any kind of position to help us.

Cannot find a job that pays a living wage....it is a national disgrace.

And the ones that should be the most ashamed are the Christians, who's spiritual master spoke out against the greed and uncaring that they display...if that shit came from pagans you could understand it.
But most of these so called Christians have never read the bible and so they can believe anything they want.

EXCEPT for the Gospels...y'know, the story of Jesus and what he said.

I have a condition that I was born with. I understand the not quite making it.

I had surgery as a child to correct the more drastic aspects of my condition. Thanks to modern medicine, my life expectancy is a normal life span with continued care.

But that doesn't mean I am "normal."

I am not in the same good health as someone without this condition. I have lowered stamina and tire easily. This makes sure I do things slower than most other people. I get everything done, it just takes me longer because I must rest where others would not. I try to be as efficient as any person can be.

I like to tell people that it feels like being one of those school buses with a governor on it so that it doesn't go more than 35 mph.

In my day to day life, my condition doesn't matter so much. Who cares if I finish the laundry on Sunday night or Tuesday? And indeed, I make those kinds of energy trade offs all the time to make sure I can do all the important stuff in my life. I learned very early not to sweat the small stuff. I budget my time against my energy levels all the time to make the most of the energy I do have.

But work is a completely different story. If you are employed, you are on someone else's time. And everyone is always in a hurry, hurry, hurry. To get ahead, you have to show the boss you can be faster than everyone. It used to be you had to be more accurate and faster than everyone. But lately, it just seemed all they want is faster and cheaper, more accurate seems to go by the wayside. My major point is, you can be the greatest worker ever, even with a medical condition, but they will still let you go. Because why? Because you can't control how others perceive you, that's why. In the land of the fast, us slow pokes come up wanting.

Is is right? Is is fair? Of course not. But it is the world we built.

What about the ADA, you might ask? That's a good thing. For those who have ADA listed conditions, you do indeed get certain provisions at work that would be to your benefit. I don't know. Has your daughter considered consulting with a lawyer if the ADA would apply to her? I know for people who seem able-bodied, admitting that you might want to be classified as officially "disabled" is a mental leap that is hard to make. If you've lived with a medical condition all your life you are strong and proud.

I have no official numbers, but my feeling is there is a huge group of us between 100% normal and officially ADA-qualifying who are simply falling through the cracks. What are we supposed to do? We still need to live, eat, and save for a rainy day. And I don't feel disabled in the classic sense anyway.

For myself, I'm starting my own business. I finally realized after multiple layoffs in the 2000s the only way I was going to be at my best professionally is if my time were my own and I were my own boss. I'm the only one who knows when I should rest and when I can give 200% to be successful. Perhaps your daughter would contemplate doing something similar?

One last thought: We have built a society were 100% able-bodied people are still fighting for their rights (LGBT, women and girls, African Americans, Indians.. and on and on) Shockingly, it still seems to be too much to ask, taboo even, to talk about people with, erm.. lets say limitations who are nevertheless perfectly capable and talented.

Or millions of us are, the working poor. Our numbers grow every day.

We need to organize as a class and push for more power. So we can have a better life with more dignity.

More people are realizing what I've been saying, and a few others, for over a decade now, and I believe I was a bit slow getting to the party.

If you find yourself in the outhouse of Capitalism, that is because it is designed that way. Capitalism eats us all, and some are used as part of its muscle, as brain-matter, blood, but others, the majority of us pass through its system by design, and is crapped out into the toilets of prison, or our cemeteries. This is the most fitting metaphor.

It isn't your fault--this is by design. Your jobs, well, they've been sent to third world countries, where they can abuse labor, work them long hours, without rights. They've been sent to countries that care so little about their people that they can pump poison into the air and water. Thank our government. Thank corporations, and the rich that pay them. It didn't have to be this way, it doesn't have to be this way, but for now it is. It took about three and a half decades to get this bad, though it has always been somewhat this way.

is where much of the misinformation begins. The so called Christians are the real non believers. They don't believe that you can work and still be financially unable to take care of all your bills, live on your own and save for future needs. Often times young women live with men,not out of true love, but a matter of sharing expenses---it's called survival. While they scream sin they never look beyond the closed door. Decades ago a single woman could easily rent a small place on her own,work her way up the ladder and only when she felt like it got into a committed relationship,kids--the whole enchilada.
But the talk show pin heads are convinced today's youth are lazy,never work but they refuse to see the job description,the minimum wage attached to it plus the number of hours. If they would do basic arithmetic(they wouldn't need a calculator nor fancy charts) to see that failure is in their future especially if they have no support system giving them financial aid,a place to live or transportation help.
This brings up the problem with the lifeline itself. How long can parents or other relatives,friends help those in need? How can parents save for their future if they have to help pay for the present needs of their offspring? Many do it out of love but that does not mean every dollar they spend today will not be of major concern tomorrow.
Many of the parents become the babysitters for their grandkids. Not a big deal says the wealthy. Let the little darlings play in the back forty or take them to the club for a few laps in the pool. In reality many parents live in small quarters and often times they pay for food or snacks that they will not ask for reimbursement and that money does add up. Some would like to downsize to a retirement building but they can't if they are constant sitters or if they would like to downsize to another state.
It's very difficult to get the word out since talk shows seem to only have a one party opinion and many believe whatever the "airwaves" tell them to believe.
We have to get "living wage" into every work conversation. CEO's seem to think it's fine for them to make bug bucks but that most should struggle and be glad to even have a job!

The great grandparent to the children. I see more and more cars parked in driveways of houses that you would expect to see 2 vehicles.

no--I hope it's your daughter and all of the other sons and daughters that are living like yours that rise up and say enough.

It's unacceptable that we don't pay a living wage in this country. I don't have the answers. I just know we have to stop leaving people behind.

I'm sorry she's going through this, no one should have to live like that.

Your daughter is being helped - by her family.

And also that she could perhaps get more help if she was not "stubbornly independent".

Unfortunately, when it comes to tax breaks - now the blame is on Obama and the Democrats. Obama recently signed (okay it has not been seven months since the betrayal) and Democrats voted for - $2.4 trillion in tax breaks to the top 20% - a group that Obama and many other Democrats (and Republicans) still call the "middle" class. Yes, that group in the 80-95% range, with average income of "just" $130,000, they got $1.1 trillion in tax cuts - thanks to Democrats.

Tax breaks for the moderately rich.

could be added to the list of things wrong in America. I read two articles yesterday that tie in with your thoughts. First was advice on how to be resilient as you head into your 50's and 60s because boomers know a certain uncertainty that their parents did not know. Parents in the 40s/50s were providing for their families and future by joining the 'rat race' and secure in the knowledge they had retirement plans to fall back on, but today's boomers are being let go in the few years before their retirement and not sure they will have social security. He was offering a guide on how to survive these changes when they happen (really! what to do if America gives you the shaft!). The second article I read was about a man in his 50s (here in NC) who worked for AT&T and that feeling of uncertainty kept nagging at him that he would have put all these years toward a company that would fire him in the twilight of his career. He ultimately decided to hang it all up to work for himself and have more control of his future, excellent that he did but not possible for so many out there!

It makes me furious that many people in the US have no problem giving Robber Barons a free ride but will scream and shout and called you worthless if you even try to help someone in your daughter's situation (or heaven help you if you are in your daughter's situation!).


http://www.nextavenue.org/article/2013-06/5-abilities-you-need-master-after-50

http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2013/07/21/4179892/seeking-a-change-lincoln-county.html

and off the computer for much of it - will be sure to read all of the responses tonight and see what I have to say in response to any of you.

Thank you.

and second, I am furious that there is no such thing as a living wage for these young people. I think a lot of us 'oldsters', or boomers, would be glad to 'get out of the way' and let a younger person have a chance-but you know what happens? We hang on because of health insurance being a part of a job now (sorry, but that is an outmoded idea) and we are all now thrown into a pit of uncertainty. (Or what was being paid out in wages and benefits gets subsumed into someone higher up getting a bonus-or the boss gets to grin and say how much more productive the work unit is "Look how much we saved!"-and nobody is hired to replace you. So people get worked to death on minimum wage.)

And the rich just keep getting richer and laughing at the minimum wage service workers who keep the whole show running.

I'm all in for a general strike to stop the 'whole show'-there are way more of us than them (the 99% versus the 1%).

I think the older generations had it ingrained in them that Americans of course earn a living wage. Many more of them were able to experience such a situation.

I know my own parents, about seventy years old, don't quite grasp the full extent of the wrath that inflation has brought. They certainly never had the burden of student loans the size of a mortgage; they simply had the mortgage on an affordable home. I understand one could once pay for living and a higher education working at the grocery. There is no possibility of that anymore outside of going to school very part time.

Lately they've seemed to get it, a little at least. My 33 year old brother is in the same boat with the other young adults mentioned in this thread. This is a terrible time to be out of the workforce. Hiring is way down. At the law firm I work at, we have needed another experienced lawyer for more than a year now; instead, we're hired lawyers to do non-lawyer jobs at low wages and I get to work 20-40% more. Back in the day (less than twelve years ago), they'd have hired a practicing attorney and those low-wage lawyers would probably be practicing law somewhere.

We should all understand that the way we experience the world depends much on the world into which we were born. It is hard to notice changes where they don't affect you directly. But it seems many are becoming more aware of the suffering of others, which gives me hope things can eventually change.

my dad was an apprentice carpenter, just out of the service. He and my mom had me, a new (small) house, and a new car. My mom quit working after I was about 6 months old. NOBODY could afford to do that nowadays!

There are many of us, you are correct, who remember a MUCH different world.

It is not at all that people are lazy or eschew working 'service' jobs, it is that those jobs cannot keep one afloat.

I am deeply troubled when I go into a chain restaurant (which is rarely) and am often waited on someone older than me. And these folks don't seem to be just looking for a 'little extra income'. This IS there means of getting by. And it is minimal.

Somehow they feel they deserve any help they get while others (people not their color) don't. I don't know why there is such a disconnect. I just think its the rightwing propaganda machine causing people to hate and blame each other. It's the oldest tactic on Earth- divide and conquer. Very sad. I hope things improve for your daughter.

So long as there are fewer chair than players in the game, the players are attentive, desperate and hungry. As the quantity of chairs diminishes, the players in the game begin to realize that this is a punitive, exploitive and sadistic game, and is bullshit.

And your neighbors don't get. A lot of people are willing to work very hard and still can't get ahead!

People don't want to be takers but they'd just like to keep their heads above water and between greed and outsourcing it's such a challenge. It takes a certain amount of luck and a lot of hard work to get ahead and even then any little thing-an illness, an accident, and you could be in a hole you can't see out of. The very people who blame "takers" are the ones who've dealt these cards!

And the GOP still doesn't get that this is why the "47%" comments pissed off so many people.

They wont stop until we make them, the rich will never be happy with their gains, they will continue to take until we say no. I look forward to our Arab spring.

intelligent, (what voted most likely to accidently blow up the planet in a lab not knowing how powerful his latest invention is---IN HIGH SCHOOL), holds a BSc in physics, (minor in astrophysics & astronomy and wants to go back for his masters AND PhD) but has been struggling to get back on his feet. He's gone to interview for jobs- one in particular he was CLEARLY overqualified for only to be questioned OVER, OVER and OVER again by different employees of a certain AAA contractor if he was a felon, a drug dealer or a pimp or COULD HE PASS A DRUG TEST! WTF? The thing is that I know people at this place and at least HALF of the employees are drunks, addicts and felons of the first order. He's not even gotten speeding ticket, took a toke from a joint...ONCE and got SICK as a dog! Never used again..( I don't think it hurt that he remembered my telling him that I would BREAK both his & my baby brother's kneecaps if they got involved in drugs, lol!)

Anyway, when faced with things of this nature, is there any wonder why people get discouraged? The thing is we're family & it's only me and my husband, we have 5 BEDROOMS and 3 FULL BATHS. NO way I;m going to let his go homeless through NO FAULT OF HIS OWN NEVER!

if someone is willing to spend 40+ hours a week at ANY KIND OF JOB, they should be paid well enough to feed, clothe and house themselves. At THE VERY LEAST. What it says about America "the land of opportunity" that that is not the case for like 70% of the working population (i'm just making that stat up, btw), is well... i don't know exactly what it says, but it's sad fer sure.

Last edited Tue Jul 23, 2013, 11:27 AM - Edit history (3)

for our daughter's use nearly twenty yrs ago, when her then residence in a bedroom of a large mansion, at modest rent, was no longer going to be available to her. Knowing her income would always be modest, we envisioned her having to move every year or so, and that she would be unable to afford a stable safe environment.

Although reasonably intelligent she had had a rough time making friends throughout her school days and holding jobs when a young adult. In recent years, a social worker calls her problem Asperger's, though she would not be typical, in that she's gregarious though compulsive. Also an adult diabetic.

To make a long story short, she was let go by the IRS a few years ago after many instances of tardiness. She was quickly okayed for SSI and now lives on that, paying me the bulk of the monthly condo fee, as well as $100/month on the 2004 Taurus I purchased for her last year. I pay her car and condo insurance and I and her brother are the ones she comes to when her monthly SSI runs out too soon.

She is not good at handling money; in addition she must pay at least something for her meds each month. It's not likely or realistic that she will be employed again, considering today's employment situation, and the fact that the lack of structure in her life has accentuated her psychological problems.

Like those writing in above, there are so many of these people in our nation, dependent to some degree on the kindness of family and on government programs. We who are able must remember the personal story and struggles of the many who limp along (figuratively) requiring, as the OP states, our empathy and kindness.

There are people that say we are just lazy and antisocial, and sadly, I have gotten that from both the Greens and the Libertarians, to say nothing of dems and GOP.

from Temple Grandin to the young killer in Newtown CT, whose name I forget just now -(was it Adam?)
The stereotype is the withdrawn, antisocial person, though usually of high intelligence.
Temple Grandin is not withdrawn, nor is my daughter, both of whom were born and raised before the term "Aspergers" was familiar to the public.
Ms. Grandin's mother worked with her and provided necessary training, so that she was able to maximize the tendencies that would serve her well, and minimize the others.

We who have dealt with Asperger's are familiar - now- with the spectrum, though I had never heard the term during my daughter's maturing years. I don't think the public at large is knows much about Asperger's yet.

The public knows something about autism, not enough, and that is only in the last 20 years
It may take some time.
When my other (adult) kids complain about something she does or has done, I remind them - "It's not easy being Amy" -(not her true name). To be frank, I don't even know for sure that the diagnosis/label "Asperger's" is correct, but it's the best I have to go on at this time.

I wish you well, DonCoquixote, knowing it's not easy living in your shoes. May you find your comfortable spot in this world.

In the olden days, when craftspeople or machinists could be left alone with their craft, the problem was not as important, now though, in our world, getting a job and keeping one have a lot less to do with your skill and more with your ability to be liked by others. It is sad, stupid, but true. The line is "well we can teach anyone to do the skilled job, it;s the personality. Bullshit, because from Main street to wall street, we see lots of incompetent social mavens rule, while the people who can do the job are left outside.

And thanks for the goodwill: sometimes I wonder why I come here, and people like you remind me.

Good to know there is someone else out there who totally understands.

Sadly, "Aspie" is the new "Retard" in today's thinking. People throw that term around without taking the time to understand it, or our son.

And people seem to not want to take the time or effort to understand it.

Why don't they just go out and get one?


(An actual quote from Saint Ronald of Reagan)

He is so responsible for about 99% of all this bullshit.

Massive misinformation.

None of us, not a one, is special. We are all just fucked up in different ways. I say do your best to enjoy each day, give yourself and other people a break and enjoy the ride while it lasts.

how much you shared.

If anything gives me hope, it is the great people at DU.

That is, I think, the main reason why the wealthy hold so much power over the rest of us. They hold their success and the toys of that success out in front of us like carrots on sticks, telling us that yes, we too can be a part of this wonderful experience if only we work hard enough and persevere. That is the American Way, everybody has a fair shot, and God bless us all.

Meanwhile, we stay on the same old busted treadmill, going faster everyday and getting us nowhere, because we still believe that hard work will pay off in the end. I admit I've fallen for that myth myself, when I should have known better.

News flash: Horatio Alger is dead, folks; never to be resurrected.