On the use of correct pronouns...
Even as someone with experience dealing with transgender issues and transphobia, I still catch myself making mistakes. Most people are okay as long as you correct yourself.
This is not a measure of one's acceptance but an issue in sociology and social psychology. Much of it is the workings of our subconscious. We are socialized to use certain physical cues to almost instantaneously determine a persons gender along the preconceived gender binary male/female.
These cues can often be quite subtle. From the shape and size of one's hands to the angle of a jaw line, to shape of the hips, one can quite accurately predict gender without ever speaking to an individual or even making eye contact.
This, of course, is exceptionally dangerous in a world where humans, as sentient beings, are able to transcend mindless reactions in favor of intelligence. We become confident in our gender identifying abilities for at least two reasons. The first, of course, is the fact that we use it constantly. As you walk down the street, passing hundreds, even thousands of people, you are making judgments, many of them subconscious, of the people around you. The whiff of a certain perfume right as someone passes might cause you to assign gender identity to someone you've never seen before and will never see again.
This kind of subject placement becomes somewhat more convoluted on a place like an internet forum. But the general mechanisms remain the same. Our brains tend to lock in gender identity and are not easily reeducated. This might be the case because we are wrongfully socialized to associate gender identity with the possession of a certain set of sexual organs. If a famous individual has been identified as being one gender as opposed to another, we want to assume that identity is constant. Not only do we want to assume, we need the assumptions to maintain normal social function.
Gender ambiguity throws a monkey wrench into social interaction. If someone cannot properly identify the gender of an individual, it becomes extremely difficult to form a conversation or bond because we, unfortunately, rely so heavily on gender cues to initiate certain types of discussions or relations. The human stress response becomes a factor and we often become confused or even scared.
With all that being said, we cannot expect every person to comprehend all of this immediately and we cannot expect everyone to simply shut off an engrained portion of the socialized brain in an instant.
Chelsea Manning is a woman because she says she is a woman. A few days ago, she was a man, as far as most were concerned. The switch inevitably must be made and it must be made as quickly as possible to respect her wishes. But a slip up here or there is not a damnable offense.
Just my two cents.
= new reply since forum marked as read
Of course, there's always resistance to pedantry here. But, in this case, such corrections are appropriate, if only for education.
I wish that everybody here could have seen the interview on France 24 this evening on journalistic ethics on this very topic. There would be no question about it and all we would have to deal with is the slip ups. Sadly, I fear that isn't the case.
So, we need to soldier on. Firmly but sotto voce (without yelling).
