In principle it applies to all kinds of crimes equally. There are two separate issues: One is how society should respond to a crime, and one is what steps a person can take in their own life, within their own sphere of influence, to make crime less likely. They are not the same. Otherwise securing a house to prevent burglary would be victim blaming, as would be teaching martial arts.

As adults, at some point we must face up to the hard fact that the choices we make have an impact on or own safety. The question of "who is to blame" is academic in that sense. Only relevant after the fact, once you already became a victim.

Men spiking drinks at parties similarly increases the risk of rape.

Men who do not understand the concept of consent increases the risk of rape

Being out late increases the risk of rape (esp. 14 yo girls in Missouri, according to Fox guest Joseph DiBenedetto)

Being in public increases the risk of rape

Being at home with a family member or friend of the family increases the risk of rape

WTF do victim blamers want to do? Keep women, vulnerable men and children in purdah? Why not get rapists to accept full responsibility for rape and not pass some of it on to the victim. I am a man, I am not a sexual automaton driven to penetrate and abuse the vulnerable because they are vulnerable. If I commit a sexual assault
[font size="20"]I am the one responsible[/font]

if the female rapist is sober. or intoxicated. its very complex but there is no consent or agency at that point only rape.

i think that most people don't understand that if they have been drunk and had sex they have likely been raped and those have gone unreported as well.

this is a big deal

From my post number 2

there is no such thing. they are just "men".

A man with trisomy 21 is not vulnerable? A man who is threatened by a gang is not vulnerable?

Any human who has had their ability to understand or to flee or to resist a threat is vulnerable. It is not sexist to state it and your claim of sexism reveals you as no more than a Mens Rights Movement whiner. Take your simple minded outrage to AVFM or Slymepit or even the Men's Group here, you will be welcomed with open arms.

how about breaking it down by race or age too there Rush?

and then toss me into MRA camp? self deception is the only real crime in the world friend, and we have people running around committing felonies.

Fail

You are denying men can be vulnerable and claiming, falsely, that they can only otherwise be predators. This is called a false dichotomy for you are (probably deliberately) ignoring the true dichotomy between, vulnerable and non-vulnerable. There is a dichotomy involving predatory humans but that is predatory and non-predatory.

Vulnerability has nothing to do with the actions of a potential victim whereas predatory behaviour has everything to do with the actions of the predator.

i'm hard to get sometimes so lets start over.

can you describe in some detail who, in your view, is a predator and who is the victim?

Predators perform actions.

Victims are those who have been subjected to such actions.

Being a victim is independent of vulnerability as both vulnerable and nun-vulnerable persons can be subject to a predators actions.

Vulnerability is situational; for example a person who is drunk is not necessarily vulnerable and a person who is sober is not necessarily non-vulnerable.

Being vulnerable does not mean that the vulnerability will be exploited.

The person responsible for exploiting a vulnerability is the predator, not the victim.

that I can understand and get behind fully.

That "whoosh" sound was you missing my point. If a victim lacks "alcohol education" the excuse is made that they have placed themselves at risk - which is rape apologetics.

To borrow a favoured scenario of such sophists; if you are intoxicated and walking home from a party is it your fault if a driver hits you? Does the fact of your intoxication lessen to any degree the culpability of the driver? If the driver is also intoxicated does that lessen the culpability of the driver or does it increase that culpability?

Would you accept a claim by the burglar that they should be subject to a lesser punishment because the door was unlocked? No.

Does the fact that people walk down dark alleyways excuse the mugger? No.

Do people blame a victim of sexual violence if they are drunk? Yes. Do sexual predators ask for lighter sentences because their victim was drunk and so might have said consented? Yes.

People binge drinking is bad - but that is a separate problem from a culture which excuses and ignores rape because the victim indulged in the unsafe activity of binge drinking. Saying that drinking contributes to violence inflicted upon the drinker is nothing more nor less than blaming the victim. The real problem is that people excuse rape and claim that the behaviour of the victim mitigates the violence of the rapist.

You are putting words in people's mouths and making shit up to TRY and stir the pot. I have three boys and I will tell them to avoid alcohol. I had a male friend raped by a woman in college when he was passed out. Does my warning my kids about the increased risks associated with drinking mean I say he deserved it? No fucking way and you trying to say it does is just a cry for attention.

Do you also tell your children to avoid being alone with friends or family members? because that is a situation that is far more likely to lead to rape.

I have no objection to you advising your children to avoid binge drinking, binge drinking is bad and of itself can kill you or lead to permanent damage. But to tell them that binge drinking of itself can contribute to them being raped is wrong. You do not tell your children not to take heroin or meth or krokodil because they are more likely to be raped, you are more likely to tell them or show them the damage it will do.

When someone, not necessarily one of your children, gets drunk and is raped; how do you think they feel? Remember a parent has advised them "binge drinking can get you raped" so do you think that they might be likely to blame themselves or to think that their parents and the police will put part of the blame on them, the victim? If they ever have to be on a jury are they likely to think the victim contributed to their their rape because that victim was binge drinking?

These last are the reasons I am objecting because it assigns part of the blame for what happens to the victim and, more perniciously, gets the victim to blame themselves. You know of a male friend who was drunk and was raped (the sex of the rapist does not matter) but I will bet that they never reported that rape and that they blamed himself.

I too have had friends who were raped, in one case she got drunk with her brother and for years blamed herself for his rape of her because she was drunk and, he told her, she "led him on". She did tell her mother who told her not to be silly because he would not have done that and then punished her for being drunk; she was 9. In another case a woman (who later admitted she was a lesbian) would get drunk so that she could not fight when men sexually abused her; she never did stop blaming herself for that despite having male friends who had tried to protect her and who did not "take advantage".

In another case a man went out with some friends who fed him alcohol and sexually assaulted him. Luckily there was no rape because they wanted a Bear who would penetrate them and he would not get hard. For 35 years he made light of it, blaming himself for that assault because he had trusted and he had got drunk. That man was me.

It's well and good to place the blame where it belongs (on the rapist)... after a rape occurs.

Why not contribute to it never happening?

Is it right? No. Should I be able to walk in the shittiest part of town with money hanging out of my pockets and expect not to get robbed? Sure...

Then reality kicks in and realizing that protecting yourself is the only solution as opposed to expecting everyone in the world to behave themselves. They won't...

Never to go out and have a drink because they might end up drunk? Never to accept a drink bought for them because it might have been spiked?

Binge drinking is a problem - but it is a separate problem from rape.

Now let's look at your sickening suggestion that getting drunk and then raped is equivalent to walking down a street with money sticking out of your pocket and being mugged. Are you trying to say that victims who are drunk are displaying their sexual organs hence enticing rapists? That is called false equivalence.

... gets raped because of bullshit, feel good, way it outta be crap like you are spewing then it is on your head.

When you get to the world of absolutes and zero risk let me know. The adults in the room are talking about reducing risk to acceptable levels. Making an informed choice with the minimal risk is different than claiming that we want to lock women away.

It's sick. It's intellectually dishonest and there will be a woman out there who believed you and yours and paid the price...

and the woman is partly to blame because she is drunk.

And a 14 yo and her 13 yo friend, encouraged to get so drunk they are subject to rape and sexual assault, are also partly to blame

Sorry, but rape happens because of rapists, no one else. Rapists continue to exist because so many people ignore what they do and excuse it because "she was drunk," or "she was asking for it," or "I really loved her".

Now, are you aware that the biggest predictor to rape is not drunkenness on the part of the victim?

The biggest predictor is that the rapist is a family member or friend at the home of the victim. Do you therefore think that women and girls should avoid families and friends?

When do you stop finding excuses for rape?

There is nothing inherently wrong with educating women about risk. What we see less frequently is the education of men regarding rape. It's galling when women are taught how not to get raped, and yet men are not expected to learn not to rape. Furthermore, if a women gets drunk and is raped, her attacker is often let off the hook because she 'should not have gotten drunk'. In NO OTHER CRIME are the perps let off the hook because the victim did something that was perhaps foolish. Why is rape any different?

women will still be seen as being at fault for daring to have a drink.

I was just saying this the other day. If men had to fear being anally raped by some stranger and then blamed for it afterward (Why were you drinking? Why were you wearing jeans that showed off your ass? Why were you there by yourself? Why did you leave your house at all? Blah blah blah blah blah!) all of a sudden we would stop hearing so much about the "victim's responsibility". Instead, it would be all about the dangerous rapist gays and how to stop them from harming poor innocent men who just wanted to go out and have a fun time. Guaranteed.

None of this happened in our circle of friends. Guess your "guarantees" aren't worth shit.

Bummer. Sorry about that. Maybe get better friends next time?

Arm them with machete and teach them how to castrate the Mother Fuckers who try and rape them.

there is a woman on earth who needs this "education".

standard conservative approach. Other people are just stupid and need to be lectured.

Right up there with white man burden and stupid sayings like "teach a man to fish".

kind of education- both boys and girls.

many kids, including herself, drank enough that they couldnt remember much of the night before in the morning.


Binge drinking makes a person vulnerable to assault. It does *NOT* absolve the assaulters to teach kids to NOT binge drink!

If not, this is pretty obvious paternalism.

This is one of the most sexist things I have read here. Serious, you should be fucking ashamed to type some bullshit like that. Not only is it stunningly sexist, it's astonishingly ignorant. Get help.

"Possible, but unlikely"?

If so, there would be no point saying what you did. Don't try to slither out of it with flaccid disclaimers, just retract the silly comment and carry on. Your heart is in the right place, but you went too far.

Dear young men: if you drink to excess, you may lose behavioral inhibitions and find yourself willing to do something to/with a young woman that constitutes rape (e.g., having sex with her while she is passed out; coercing her into something she isn't comfortable with; ignoring her wishes not to have sexual activity with you). This could lead to some very unpleasant consequences for you: loss of self-respect, loss of reputation, legal problems, jail time and/or fines, and having to be a registered sex offender for the rest of your life. Please, young men, be responsible and think before you binge drink!

See, there - I fixed it for Dear Prudence!

I have been attacked here for saying that it is a good idea to warn women to keep an eye on their drinks because of the existence of creeps with "date-rape" drugs. Apparently that was considered "blaming the victim".

I'm always surprised that anyone would object to something that is just common sense.

that men learn how NOT TO rape someone when drinking is going on also?

That would most certainly end all robbery!

There are bad people in the world, there are ways to minimize the potential harm that very bad people can do to you using common sense. It isn't blaming the victim.

we don't have robbers and thieves being acquitted because the victims were clearly responsible for the thievery because they didn't take the proper precautions! Their fault! We don't have stealing culture. It's been so clearly and firmly established in our culture that stealing is wrong that you can leave a car running with the keys in it and the car thief would still go to jail.

Because the legal system is messed up on, then we shouldn't teach women basic crime prevention skills that we teach to everyone else in regards to other crimes?

Hell, my parents hammered into me that it is a terrible idea to binge drink in unfamiliar settings and with people I didn't know well. I guess they were secretly just setting me up to get blamed if I get robbed, raped or killed. Thanks mom! Why didn't you just go tell all the bad people in society not to hurt me?

The thing that needs to be fixed is the belief that a woman can be "asking for it" or otherwise somehow responsible for getting raped.

Fixing the problem by telling women to not drink isn't fixing this underlying problem.

We've been telling everyone in society "don't rob" for thousands of years. Yet, people still get robbed all the time. Obviously that doesn't mean that we should stop telling people not to rob each other or give up on making society safer, but it also means that teaching people the skills they need to assess dangerous situations and prevent bad people from taking advantage of them is still a required part of crime prevention.

The same thing applies for rape. I agree that it seems that more people understand robbery is wrong than rape (as crazy as that is, I've read some studies), so of course we still need to educate people about that. I just don't see how the need to do that precludes teaching people on avoid dangerous situations.

And then lets the robber go free.

why even bother trying to have a discussion with people who can't be honest?

fuck.

writing 10,000 word articles?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!

Look, I'm going to be telling my daughter to watch out for someone spiking her drink, and to be aware of her surroundings. Because there's bad people in the world.

I'm going to be telling my son to not rape. And it doesn't matter if she's drunk, or high, or said "yes" a minute ago. She says stop, or is in any way out-of-her-mind, it's rape.

But we as a society need to be emphasizing #2. We've been emphasizing #1.

That there are women who in their view do absolutely everything right. Don't drink a drop. Dress to cover every inch. Take self defense courses. And still get raped. But I guess it feels safer to imagine that all you have to do is protect yourself and it can't happen to you. Maybe that explains this movement to focus on telling women to lead the rape free lifestyle whooha.

This is a discussion about how society is framing discussion about a particular issue that focuses the responsibility on women. Binge drinking and rape. Both obviously serious issues. How are some suggesting we focus the beam of attention? Primarily on women.

the best form of self-defense is the situational awareness and decision making skills that allow you to avoid dangerous situations in the first place.

When as self-defense instructors says that, he isn't blaming the victim. He is giving them the tools to enhance their own safety regardless of what the asshole who wants to victimize them tries to do.

In a thread about self defense this would be a great post.

took back my rec because of the ugly hijacking.

Of course it isn't a bad idea to tell kids, both genders, that it isn't a good idea to binge drink. But it becomes a problem when it's, "Now, now, now. Don't go getting yourself raped!" There are ways to educate about binge drinking without framing it in a victim blaming way.

advising someone on the effects of 'alcohol' and what could happen when judgement is clouded and a person might not be able to see danger signs ... whatever they might involve. I tell my friends and family to "drive careful!" when I know they're tired and have a long trip ahead of them .. a bit different than "Don't cross over the yellow line and kill and destroy a family, now!".

It's just common sense.

I have no problem with advising young people that their judgment is clouded when they drink. All manner of things can happen when you're staggering drunk. Advise them that the best thing to do is not do it at all, but if you're going to do it make sure you stay in groups, have sober members of the party, etc. etc. I do have a problem with framing the dangers of drinking as a virtue problem, a la It leaves women vulnerable to raapppppee!" Focusing on that serves to reinforce rape culture. Responding that it's just common sense? Ludicrous. Why not focus on all the dangers of drinking, and make it gender neutral? When discussing rape, why not make it gender neutral. Focusing on women and their responsibility makes it victim blaming and victim shaming. It isn't common sense.

to women and girls only. Could you point out someone who's said that?

BUT .... as women and girls make up the group of people who've throughout history been the largest number of victims of rape ...... I'm hoping every father, brother, anyone that cares about a female in their lives WILL advise that person as to how 'rape', as one of the dangers faced ... is much more possible when someone is inebriated. Just as they should do with their sons.

Yes, common sense.

Don't binge drink or you could be raped! That is essentially the message. Where can I point it out? In the article being cited. Where is the focus, there? The whole point is where society is putting the focus. The article serves to reinforce that.

I don't think anyone is telling women they should stop being careful. I think what's being said is the focus needs to stop being measured there. Not nearly enough is done to focus on fact that rape shouldn't happen in the first place. Do people really think that women don't know they can be raped? Honestly? With all the huffing and puffing about "Women should be told to be careful" Gee, they don't know? My post about car thieves, for example. If we could get rape to be seen and prosecuted to the same level. We'd be golden. But until we focus on it the same way. It won't happen.

Shifting the focus to stopping rape. How ridiculous, eye rollls, oooh...

I honestly don't get it.

for the very real dangers women and girls face is met with such opposition.

Screw it, heh?!? Concentrate only on the perpetrators, because women being aware is just so unhelpful and sexist.

Clearly, you don't get it.

they can live some kind of lifestyle that makes them safer. So it's better to advocate focusing on women instead of advocating for reducing rape.

But nice try.

were actually focusing on the boys. But, easy mistake

This is the thing. Kids in college party. They party it up like no tomorrow. Girls and boys. It's what they do have done since forever, and likely will do for all time to come. It likely won't go away unfortunately. Rapists take advantage of that and go after the girls who are more vulnerable in those situations because of the partying. What is the remedy to that situation. Go after the rapists? Or tell the girls to stop partying? Are the girls going to stop partying? Some of them may, but surely not all of them. Likely not even most of them. The pressure is huge. Especially with fraternities and sororities.

By telling the girls to stop partying, all we do is make the partying aspect a thing of virtue. A bad girl thing to do. That's it. Because who's doing the bad thing? The rapist. Yes, the argument can be made that all the kids should be at the very least cutting down on the partying, but that should be a separate issue from the rapists. The rapist, alone, is the bad person in this situation. Focus on the rapists and stopping them. Emily Youffe turning the partying girls into bad girls isn't the answer.

Exactly. No need to focus on women and their behavior and makeing them bad girls.

Woman gets drunk, or is drugged. Gets raped. "But we told you not to get drunk!" "You hung out with the wrong crowd!" "Your honor, she didn't do what she was supposed to do." Case dismissed.

That's what you aren't getting - the focus needs to be on the rapist as the source of the problem. Articles like in the OP divert that focus into the victim's behavior. Society needs to keep the focus on the rapist's behavior. Just like we don't tell victims of car theft that they shouldn't have driven away from their garage.

That's not to say we should never tell our children to be aware of their surroundings and such. But parents have to tell their children not to touch a hot stove too. Society doesn't demand classes on stove awareness to solve that.

of rape, among other things, while one is pissed. I was one of the very young and stupid people who did take chances while binge drinking and WAS assaulted - I'd have appreciated any grown-up sitting me down and at least trying to explain how vulnerable I could be to something I'd never even considered.

Yeah, I GET IT.

Sooo damned condescending.

That's the problem. That reminder is not the extent of what needs to be done.

Why make up shit like that?

instead of putting the focus on the rapists.

And you haven't commented on the dangers of cooking while nude or sunbathing in Siberia. Your posts are meaningless and lack content so I'm just gonna plug my ears to anything helpful you might have to offer ....... anyone.

that would be a relevant comparison.

and empower, simply because it doesn't include every possible bit of information you think it should.

The article was written as a response to the movement away from "don't get raped" to "don't rape". The author feared that pushing the emphasis to the rapists would mean no one would be talking about what women should not do. It is an attempt to push back against that movement.

You don't give women enough credit .... we do have the brains to appreciate relevant, life-saving information that goes directly to the FACT that being inebriated leaves us - as women, much more vulnerable - to rape, murder, assault, whatever some sicko decides to do. Most of us are intelligent enough to realize this in no way excuses the actions of any other. Get over it.

not to binge drink around strangers. Those are rather contradictory claims.

And my previous post made no comments about women's intelligence. My claim is that this article was written to counter the movement from "don't get raped" to "don't rape". Intelligence does not play a part in that.

Point it out.

No, good information can be gotten many places ... from articles, classes, lectures, news on tv, magazines, talking with friends, co-workers ....... the thing is, most women are smart enough to be able to receive and appreciate good advice from anywhere without seeing themselves as being victimized for it.

But, thank goodness!, we've always got people like you to tell us when we should feel like a victim, just for being able to appreciate and use common sense.

We never say someone was asking for it if their car was stolen.

We, as a society, frequently say a woman was asking for it if she was raped.

We, as a society, have kept the focus on what women should not do in order to avoid being raped. And we've let off a ton of rapists because a woman didn't follow that advice.

Society's focus needs to be on the rapist as the cause of the crime, just like society's focus is on the car thief as the cause of the crime.

no matter what type of criminal.


We put alarms and locks and GPS tracking on cars to take opportunities away from the car thief.

We put alarms and locks on houses to take opportunities away from the burglar.

We put street lights and police patrols in bad neighborhoods to take opportunities away from the mugger.


Teaching teenagers that binge drinking is a bad thing is an attempt to limit the opportunities for assault, sexual and otherwise. NOBODY, not even in the article, is saying that is the ONLY thing we should do.


The article gives good advice. Bashing the article because it doesn't address *ALL* angles of preventing rape is infantile. It addresses ways to lower one's risk. That's a good thing. In and of itself, it is useful. It in no way blames the victim, not even a little bit.


Because *THIS* particular article doesn't address what it wrong with society as a whole does not mean the writer is a rape-apologist. The very notion of that is silly, and you look silly doing it.

*Clears throat* "Women, if you don't want to get raped? Don't drink!" There now. *sit down, dust their hands off* Done. Safe. That's one on the list of Rape Prevention, taken care of! Easy peasy. Rapists everywhere will just be befuddled because they won't know what to do with all the sober women. That's what I'm getting from this thread, anyway. It's just a matter of self defense, that's all! Self defense tips!

which it sounds like this is.

If men and women together are being taught about alcohol, and also consent, with no responsibility placed on women who do drink around guys and get raped, then it's fine. The problem is that so often what we see is a list of "how not to get raped" suggestions posted in women's restrooms or dorms with no attempt to discuss consent or place any blame on rapists. When the whole responsibility for stopping rape is placed on women, then it is rape culture. A discussion of being careful around alcohol doesn't have to be when part of a larger curriculum depending on how it's handled.

"Lock your doors."

"Carry mace."

"Don't walk alone in dark and seedy places."

"Be aware of your surroundings."



Who knew that telling my 19 year old daughter all of the above makes me a rape apologist!


Only on DU.

I guess it isn't just here.

About women at universities being taught not to binge drink. If that were all that were happening - women being taught not to binge drink so they don't get raped - with no one talking to the men about not getting women drunk and raping them or taking advantage of women who are drunk on their own and raping them - then it's a problem.

Your discussion with your daughters would be targeted at them specifically, of course.

(He's too young at the moment for this subject)

I'll be telling my son that he's responsible. Always. It doesn't matter if she's drunk, or even if she said "yes" a minute ago. If she's in any way out of her mind or says "stop", and he keeps going, it's rape. And he will face all the consequences for being a rapist. And there is literally nothing that will excuse his behavior.

Theoretically, you should be giving the same advice to your daughter, because it is possible for women to be rapists. However, that is so unlikely it is not all unusual to skip giving that advice to daughters.

That's not to say we shouldn't advise our kids how to avoid being raped. You do so, just like you advise your kids how to not hurt themselves in the kitchen. But that lesson above needs to be society's focus, and it has never been.

It's just common sense to teach children how to avoid danger. I've never believed that doing so is victim blaming.

The same has been said about self-defense techniques. I can't figure that one out. Why would anyone choose to keep this knowledge from girls for a misguided principle?

How would anybody here feel about letting their teenage daughter go out with a group of boys she didn't know? Would you let her do it because, after all, if something happens to her it's their fault, not hers? Would you be worried that your daughter would think you were blaming her for any potential rape or assault? Fuck no, you'd only care about keeping your daughter out of a potentially bad situation. It's the same thing for other women and men.

Taking precautions can often prevent such things from occurring in the first place. It's common fucking sense to make plans in case events take a bad turn. There's absolutely nothing wrong with teaching people rape prevention. Just because you're teaching women how to take precautions doesn't mean you're letting rapists off the hook. Sheesh!

Since it's the criminal's fault when we become victims, we don't have to worry about being careful.

I don't know why the onus always has to be on women to not get raped. Men need to be taught to not rape in the first place.

The concept of consent is not that well known. If everyone knew it was wrong, they wouldn't videotape it, publicize it, and be shocked when people call something that is obviously a rape "rape."

But these conversations inevitably come down to what the woman should do to avoid rape.

If there were actually concentrated efforts by society as a whole to fight rape culture, I would change my tune in a second.

Instead, we objectify women and call it marketing. We tie men's self-worth to how sexually active they are and reward them for landing a hot piece of tail, and consequently tie women's self-worth to how well they can be that hot piece and shame them for taking control of their own bodies.

Enabling rape gets you laughs, promotions, and high fives. Not being able to wear what you want, associate with who you want, and safely walk to the store at night gets you these stupid questions about what you were wearing, were you carrying mace, why did you go out alone.

We don't glorify or encourage murder and theft and subsequently shame the victims of these crimes. We glorify and encourage rape, though.

To take an activity that is not only extremely prevalent in college, but an activity with high social pressure to conform, and add to it the guilt of shame if you happen to be a victim of rape if it occurred while you were participating? That's what's especially galling to me. Telling someone don't do X or Y could happen, and they do X anyway? Of course the implication of guilt is there that they did X. It is indeed victim blaming. And singling out women for participating in drinking in college? It's just ludicrous. If drinking has gotten out of control in the colleges, obviously, let's do something about that, but let's not single out women. And if rapists are taking advantage of drunk women? Target the rapists.

first of the article is not singling out women- it addresses males as well. secondly, binge drinking in fucking dangerous. No one is saying don't drink.

I'm sorry but the stupidity of not addressing this is just jaw dropping.

Holy crap.

The fact it mentions males doesn't negate the fact it focused on women. Second of all, the fact that binge drinking is dangerous makes the fact it focuses on women especially ridiculous. I think it would be far better, and much more useful, to simply focus on the dangers of binge drinking to the betterment of all, instead of focusing on women and trying to get them to live better, safer, more virtuous lives to protect them from the rapists, and reinforcing the rape culture in the process.

their crimes. the woman is not. but recommending reasonable precautions and ways to reduce the risk of being raped shouldn't be remotely controversial. It's sure as shit not blaming the woman to say watch out for being roofied, don't walk alone and unprotected in dangerous areas at night, etc.