Just for fun: The Many Manifestations of Ted Cruz (And his response!)

Some people talk of the Carnival Cruz and it’s a name that kind of fits this guy. (Especially when I make my aides dress as Carnival Cruise staff!) He does seen to create a circus/carni feel around him. (Ladies and Gentleman, I am the greatest show on Earth!) However, he would really like everybody to forget about his Caribbean (Haarr, Maty!) Cruz incarnation where he supposedly buried some of his treasure in the Caymans. (Yar! Tie the scurvy dog to the yard ‘arn!) Shining light on the buried treasure only enrages the ego which, in turn, creates the Cruz missile which blindly forces its way into either House of Congress, blowing up everything in its path. (Kill ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out. I’m anointed!) Will he go Cruzing for sex (hey, girl!) like he used to in his college days (pretty girl!) when he would don a paisley bathrobe and stalk the halls of the women’s side of the dormitory? (That’s right, It’s me! God’s gift to women! I’m anointed!) If he upsets the wrong Republicans, can we say that he is Cruzing for a bruising? (It’s all mine Jack, keep your hands off of my stack!) Of all the possible versions of Cruz there one certainty, he’s no Pablo Cruz! (Isn’t that a 70’s band?)

Disclaimer; none of the comments inside the parenthesis are the actual thoughts of Senator Ted Cruz. They may be actual comments that were uttered sometime in the last two decades, but since the 90’s were so drug filled with a party like debauchery, nobody really remembers.