now on." "I know, take it up with MineralMan. I'll see if I can get you his phone number!"

I loved that movie. Now, I want to go rent it!

Laughed my head off. Gene Hackman in drag was the funniest thing ever.

My first best gay friend was a 17 year old cross-dresser. Man, he looked beautiful all dressed up. He taught me so much and shared hilarious stories. We were both boy-crazy at that age, back in 1973. I wonder how he's doing. I lost track of him.

that it's your purse.

Or is that the effect you're going for?

But, still, one doesn't like to clash.

Correct - better stick with my Bagghy Audrey Hepburn bags. My Harley Guy could never ever match Audrey!

and make sure it snapped shut so all the crap doesn't fall out

to toss it?

Hike!

slit it open and stuff the purse inside. That way you will look perfectly manly and no one will suspect you're carrying your wife's purse.

You could do this with other manly objects also, such as a stuffed moose head.

you have just come up with a whole new branch/use for taxidermy!

sP

I mean, I literally laughed out loud

This thread is just killing me.

yes INDEED

Cleaning up the crackers and lipstick and receipts and jolly ranchers and all the other trash and crap that can spill out of said purse isn't as much fun

I could check if they matched

But it gets easier with practice

Trust me on this

Someone once told me that purple and bright orange clash, I just took their word for it.

no purse. one of the things i love about my wife is that she actually carries ONE credit card and a small amount of cash and one key... all will fit in her pockets and if she doesn't HAVE a pocket, carrying them is no issue... now the shopping bags is another story.

sP

Men are stronger than women, I am given to understand from DU.

Still, your wife's sensibility about such things is admirable.

we are suckers for our wives... that's the excuse i use.

sP

Away from your body and with some trepidation as if you don't know what to do with this foreign object.

that you have a deep contempt for the female sex.

Boards - though I read more than I write (far more brilliant minds prevail in that group) . . .


This is a reality in my marriage. And - it is something my husband would use to NOT hold my bag if he finds this thread on DU . . .

The Gio: But Adriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii - The baby blue and white D & B clashes with my shit kickers and flannel. I can't do this. I'm going to Michael's. Bye!



^up^ This is so going to happen if he gets that idea in his head!

uncalled for assumption about another person's emotions.

I'm a woman, and I found the dead possum thing pretty damned funny.

my family and I were at an airshow standing on the tarmac. I couldn't see something so my cousin was going to hoist me on his shoulders. I grabbed my purse off my shoulder, turned to my preteen brother and handed him my purse expecting him to just take, you know, "Hold my purse." Well he dropped on the tarmac like a it was made of molten steel and gave me this look like I had just handed him a week old dead cat. I mean, he was completely stunned and disgusted that he had touched a purse, even though he only held it long enough to drop it. It was the first time I ever really encountered the male problem with girl cooties. Funny as hell.

which is why they make funny commercials about it. It is nearly universal.

is in men. We must overcome our fear and embrace purse-holding!

Straight guys seem to be insecure about that issue. We girls think nothing of walking arm in arm or complimenting another woman. A straight guy would rather die than admit that another guy is good looking (except maybe when they are too old to care anymore).

How quickly that phase passes

He held it at arms length and looked pissed and horrified at the same time.

understood it. If I see a man in a mall holding a woman's purse, I know that his wife is somewhere nearby, probably in the dressing room. Why would someone not be willing to do such a simple thing?

fingers facing down indicating that it could be dropped any moment.

Just in case anyone thought he remotely belonged to him.

I really do not understand men who shop with their women. Now that's asking a bit too much, I have sympathy for those guys waiting around by the dressing room.

Wait...no...that was when I was 14.

These days, I just stand there and wait for her to come out and ask me what I think of something. I have mastered the art of the noncommittal observation regarding her clothing.

That's the most extreme -- when a woman has her guy waiting alone in the bra department and they just don't know what expression to wear!

shopping in that department generally gets me left alone. Just saying...

and it cracks me up... do you think people will assume you're buying them for you, tough-guy? i'm there like, "PRICE CHECK ON TAMPONS, REGISTER FOUR!!!" hell, yeah. i may be middle aged and pudgy but i got a woman!!!

sP

Last edited Thu Dec 5, 2013, 03:51 PM - Edit history (1)

so those items used to frequently be in my shopping cart. Essentials.

Now that the change has come, such things are no longer required.

He bought tampons for me. I knew I had a good one in him.

He isn't "late" because he died of embarrassment, so stop saying that.

Having been a 17 year old high school boy, I was embarrassed, at first, but got over it quick.

of condoms to the checkout, only to find a girl working there who is in your class.

and pretty much shot down any thought i had of ever being able to ask her out. i mean, she might reply with, "you still got any of those condoms you bought? oh, you still have ALL of them... no thanks."

sP

Well, at least in my case, she wasn't my girlfriend's BFF. How awkward, but I toughed it out.

telling you to be safe and have fun when you are going out with your first "real" girlfriend in high school.

that's rough. i would have died...

sP

I'd have dropped dead on the spot.

So the birthday right before I went to college, my parents included a ton of condoms in a variety of colors, brands and sizes among my birthday presents.

They encouraged me to "have a lot of fun" my freshman year.

It was rather awkward.

feign ignorance and blow them up like party balloons...

Gee, thanks, guys! Yeah!

My then-16 year old son had stopped back by the house after he picked up his date and realized that he'd left his wallet at home. As he was walking back out the door my wife called out, "Did you remember to take some condoms with you, just in case?"

My wife didn't realize that his date was standing RIGHT on the other side of the open door. I've never seen the poor kid so humiliated in my life. And his date looked horrified.

On the other hand, I'm pretty sure he didn't get laid that night, so: Parenting WIN!

Then what is he going to do?

I would have dumped him, too. It's remarkable that so many men think their obvious misogyny makes them more attractive to women.

A simple indication of how sexist this society is that we women are still considered so inferior that we're supposed to strive to appear as masculine as possible, while men are supposed to do everything in their power to distinguish themselves from anything feminine. I've never even heard of any woman who treated a man's wallet the way so many men on DU brag about treating a woman's purse.

90% of the time she uses a backpack instead, but I've never held either when shopping, and she never holds my shoulder bag.

Even wearing black and brown together is okay these days according to our resident expert.

I think I will continue to pretend that I am unaware of the clash.

Upon clicking through, I thought there might be some actually useful advice for this problem.

I'll hold my s/o's purse if she asks but I'm more inclined to doing as Pretzel_Warrior describes in post #6. But I think that probably draws more attention to the guy holding the purse and I think the goal here is the opposite, lol.

I am discovering. Who knew?

I don't get it.

the dressing room, for example, a purse is a complicating factor and adds to the time required to reject all of the said garments.

A secondary rule worth following in such instances is:

There must be things in it that she needs in there. I do not know. The contents of her purse are a complete mystery to me. The last time I tried to find something in there, something bit me, I'm sure.

on the way out, so I'm standing there, in front of the bathrooms, with her purse, which is honking HUGE, with me, and I saw another guy standing there with a purse, and we started talking, then my fiancee and his girlfriend came out of the bathroom at the same time chatting away as well.

Contents of her purse are a mystery to me, and as I said, its fucking huge, that thing hold everything but the kitchen sink, for crying out loud, she bought it and it came with an umbrella, that we actually couldn't find until 2 days later, strapped in on the inside at the bottom.

I manage to get most of what his mom carries in there, and my bag is very much smaller!

A woman's purse holds many mysteries. Whatever is needed in any situation can usually be found there, but only by the purse's owner. Woe betide any man who seeks something inside.

should be possible.

One time, I needed a phillips head screwdriver in a pinch, while on a walk. My wife pulled out a compact little multi-tipped screwdriver set from her purse. I asked why she had that in there. She just shrugged.

that only happens rarely, thankfully.

"Anyone have a hamster?" People will be looking in their purses, just to check.

Ask loudly if anyone has a Xanax, and half the purses in the room will be opened.

I have a black purse: it goes with everything!

and thoughtful of you, I must say!

I haven't cared what other people think since middle school, and probably not even then.

And I hang it from my shoulder as if it were mine.

My wife favors handbags, rather than shoulder bags, so that is not an option for me.

And that's what makes me happier than just about anything I can think of.

One was: "The look your husband gives you when you ask him to hold your purse."

As you say, though, I do it gladly. I'm sure it amuses her, too.

work it, work it!

The perfect solution and, as a dog owner, one I practice regularly.

ETA: I have shared this with my Facebook friends.

Thanks Sid!

So you can put the purse in.

Observe the technique.

really don't deserve to have a wife.

If my husband ever expressed such cowardliness about appearing feminine, he would be history. Do men really think that such contempt and disgust toward half of the population makes them masculine in anyone's eyes but their own? No intelligent and self-respecting woman would put up with such an openly contemptuous attitude toward her own gender.

It's appalling that DU has descended to such depths that men are now posting in apparent pride about their misogyny.

Everyone in it holds their wife's purse without complaint. The thread is a joke, you see.

So far, everyone has seen the humor. Of course we hold our wive's and girlfriends' purses. It's still funny, though.

This is, afterall, DU. I was wondering how long it would take before the swarm showed up.

I have no idea.

to see a man avoid a woman's purse like the plague ... and then go online to brag about it publicly!

over this... your propensity to offense screams about how bitter and sad you are and if THIS is what you are getting from this thread, i feel sorry for you.

sP

when he's trying on waders or pith helmets at Cabela's. I hate that. It never matches my shoes, either.

What is her family tartan...or yours? Perhaps a lovely sporran in that tartan would make a fine gift, and you could wear it, too.

And a kilt to match, of course. It belonged to a friend named Robbie Burns....and yes, he was mad, bad, and dangerous to know.

a full outfit, worn only at the annual Scottish Games. Sadly, I am no longer able at the caber toss.

Tell me it doesn't cost $20,000.

THAT is your wife's Christmas Present, right there!

yes INDEED