If not, my first reaction is, "Meh." The presence of nudity does not necessarily make it a hostile or sexual environment.

everyone was just going on about their business like it was no big deal on all sides. i waited till they left till i changed though. was just kinda weird lol

We don't know the details. It's a tough call with kids. 7 is right at that age where they transition into going into bathrooms by themselves. But maybe the little girl was scared to do so. We don't know.

I'm not so worried about naked bodies. I have a very European view of that sort of thing. Especially since I lived in Germany for 12 years. The little girl was supervised.

I know women who complain if a boy seems too old in the ladies room. That happened to me once. My boy was about 6. It was in a ladies bathroom, with stalls, with doors. Still, one woman complained that he was there. I had a baby diaper to change, and 2 other little ones. My oldest was 6. I politely explained to the woman that there wasn't a family room, and so I had no choice. I thought she was being kind of stupid. I couldn't leave my 6-year old son in a busy shopping area unsupervised while I was in the ladies room with the other 2 for 10 minutes.

It's not easy at that age.

to send the one boy (probably 7) into the mens room by himself while I went into the ladies' with the girls.

It seems like it's their own problem/prudishness and not that they are worried about the well-being of the kid.

Around 6 or 7 years old is when my oldest started going into the boys room by himself. It was hard for me with the first one, but he was fine.

I remember being on a road trip once with 3 kids and no other adult. I stopped at a very busy rest stop and told my oldest he needed to stay with me and the other 2. He didn't want to, he was about 7 or 8 then, but the women there understood for the most part and supported my decision. Only one complained and another woman said, "What she supposed to do? Leave the kid alone at a rest stop? We Moms need to support each other!" I was so grateful to that woman!

You protect children, and if someone has a problem with it, it is entirely their problem.

Just saying

Not any weirder than a dad that takes his daughter into the men's room when she is about to pee everywhere and the women's restroom is occupied.

and/or it's just no big deal for them.

I mean, ultimately it's just nude people. Seeing weenies in a non-sexual environment isn't all that big a deal in the end.

our gym has a child care facility, so I'd try to utilize that. But we have it in the first place. Not all gyms have that, and a parent with two other children isn't likely to leave one on his or her own for awhile.

It would be much more problematic if he left her in the locker room alone.

that way, either. Boundaries are good. And bathrobes or towels.

Boundaries are a good thing.

He can't go into the woman's locker room. He can't send her in there unattended. His options seem limited. Same with the bathrooms, The single parent has to take the kid into the parent's gender appropriate bathroom.

Why would you cite Bulgaria as an example of where this might be "cool"?

Nudity may be easier for the little girl to handle than separation anxiety. I think I'd leave it to the parent's best judgment.

Shower at home.

He wasn't molesting the child. Nudity of itself will not psychology scar a child for life. I don't see that there is need for a public outcry over this.

say he showered there? He probably had to shove stuff in his locker.

Seriously, I don't get the big deal. I would not do this, but it's not worthy of judging people over, either.

and not wait till she got home? Sweaty & stinky arm pits? lol. She's 7. A baby.

Just because someone can get pregnant or get someone pregnant, doesn't mean they automatically have good judgment.

My husband would never have a shower with a seven year old girl. Most men would be horrified if a seven girl old girl got in the shower with them. The men that would be cool with it scare me.

There are many public baths and spas that allow opposite sex children to accompany their parent in their parent's bathing area. The cut-off age may vary, but it's usually 7 or 8 years old. It's really no big deal.

I agree that it's up to the best judgment of a parent, none of us here actually know what was really going on in the scene that the OP witnessed.

Getting out of a wet swimsuit, drying off, and dressing can be done very swiftly with a child by the time they reach the age of the little girl in the scenario of the OP. Options for single parents are often very limited as to where that simple operation can be carried out at a public pool.

And I'd alert management if I saw it. No kid should be in a locker room where guys are walking around nude.

From the other viewpoint, have had plenty of boys that age in women's locker room and it was all meh. Yes, they get to see naked bodies and parts but better than having them off by themselves in the other room.

So they don't have to go into one alone. Leaving those two kids outside/alone could have been the main concern.

Would it be different if it was a 7 yrd old boy and mom in a woman's locker room?

Personally - would not make me comfortable and I would avoid those types of situations when possible. But having more than a few kids myself I can understand people being put into those situations and they are more worried about kid being alone and abducted than seeing a human body in it's natural state.

Now I sure as hell wouldn't show them the cover of SI under any circumstances. I have at least some class

As you pointed out.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]Birds are territorial creatures.
The lyrics to the songbird's melodious trill go something like this:
"Stay out of my territory or I'll PECK YOUR GODDAMNED EYES OUT!"[/center][/font][hr]

Especially in a locker room all by themselves with people you don't know! Every parent is comfortable with that!!!

Two are teenagers. They think this is stupid and agree that it depends on the kid, the circumstance and the location. There is no right or wrong, there is only safety and common sense.

Like I said, there are kids all over the dressing rooms at our gym, especially since there is only one small family dressing room. Nobody cares. You don't have to stand in the middle of the room, and display yourself or be in sight of the showers. You can go off to a corner of the locker maze. My kids would shower with their suits still on. It works.

in the men's bathrooms because the ladies' room is full and she drank a 30 oz Orange NeHi and is about to pee her pants, but it does happen.

My father would have never taken me into an area where there were a bunch of nude men, but he did take me into the men's restroom to pee once.

"I was thinking maybe this is cool in like bulgaria or some shit but not sure how cool it is here."

Really?

nudity doesnt seem to be as big a deal over there.

you might be getting a visit by the police.

could run around on the beach naked until they were about 6 or 7 (school-age). I have black and white photos of me and my little brother on the beach, naked as jaybirds, and these photos were developed and printed at the local Eckerd's Drug Store. No one batted an eye back then; it was normal.

too many pedophiles around these day for that though.

back then, but technology has gotten so advanced that you certainly would have trouble keeping your little naked kid's butt off the internet, that's for sure.

That doesn't make it right.

I see that at my swimming pool all the time. Doesn't matter if the child is a boy or a girl, if the parent is alone, he or she must needs bring the child into the same locker room as themselves. The same would happen with gay parents with opposite sex children. Why would naked men be worse to see for girls than naked women for boys - don't we want to encourage men to be active parents?

there are plenty of young boys walking around with their mom while naked women are changing into or out of their bathing suits. I don't see the difference here at ALL.

It was sometime around then that I started letting my son go into bathrooms himself while I waited just outside.

if they need you. My kids were ready by 7, but I have known kids who were not.

at least based on what you describe .

just seemed to be a dad who couldnt leave his kids anywhere and rushed in and out of the locker room no more then two minutes.

Last edited Sun Feb 23, 2014, 06:59 AM - Edit history (1)

My gym has large "family" bathrooms/changing room setup for parents in situations like that. If that isn't available, what is a parent supposed to do? I wouldn't be comfortable with my two girls (aged 3 and 5), but I'd do it if I was out alone with them.

i only saw them in the mens locker room for less then 2 minutes total so maybe the father just had to run in quick and get something out of the locker and didnt want to leave her by herself anywhere. that actually might have been a worse decision.

With curtain changing rooms so there's no walking around nakedness going on.

Around the time the child starts really paying attention to gender differences in bodies (~age 5) they should not be in public situations with opposite gender nudity. (I have not objection to families doing whatever they want at home - but it is not appropriate to impose those choices on others.)

The pool I used to go to had family locker rooms - age 5 was the cut-off. There were mothers who came into the women's locker room with their older male children - who were clearly overly interested in the women changing, and it made me very uncomfortable.

The alternative for parents who are taking their opposite gender children to a public locker room is to do a quick change (if necessary) and go home and shower at home if there are not family locker rooms available.

in a public dressing room.

I have found for myself and most of my friends that 6 or 7 is the transition age, depending on the kid.

I suggested a family dressing room (which most modern facilities have) or a quick change in a toilet separate from the locker room, and postpone showers until you get home if that is the only alternative. It is really not appropriate to subject women to male children in a locker room, beyond the point at which they are obviously interested in naked women (or vice versa).

I was not taking my kid into a public toilet to get dressed. I think 6 or 7 is just fine. But again, I have a very European view.

but when you take your child into a place where others expect to be naked and visible only others of the same gender (or very small children) the age at which they are obviously intrigued by what they are being exposed to is the age at which it really isn't appropriate for you to impose your views on others.

And the only time there would really be any need to shower at the gym would be if you had been swimming. Otherwise, just bundle them into the car and head home to shower.

At an absolute minimum, you should ask - and be prepared to respect the wishes of others in the locker room.

Obviously, if someone feels their privacy is being intruded upon, I would want to respect that, and I would teach my children to respect that.

Just so you know, I did often take my kids home to shower, but not always - sometimes scheduling didn't allow for it. But, like I said, at our local gym, it's full of kids, so nobody really cares.

At my gym. I'm on the fence about it. I have to admit, given our social norms, that being nude around children, male or female, is awkward at best. I'm involved in my community, sometimes working with children and the idea of being nude in in front of a child I would later be associated with as a adult leader or teacher would be WAY beyond awkward. Not a big fan and make every effort to avoid those situations.

If he took our youngest daughter to the gym with him, and had to take her into the locker room, so be it. I don't think it's a big deal. It's just a naked body. As I said in another post...young boys are always with their mothers in our local pool's change room where there are plenty of very open women who don't use change rooms to change....I don't see a difference here. I'm not an American though, so maybe I'm less prudish about it.

"I'm not an American though, so maybe I'm less prudish about it. "

But I would not want any one taking my little girl into a room full of naked men. I would have been very scared as a little girl if that had been forced on me. Also it's a rotten thing to do to the men in there. Right bloody rude in fact.

It wouldn't have phased me in the least at that age. My parents were very open about nudity and I was very used to seeing my dad and brother naked (not all the time, but there was no issues with walking down the hall to the bathroom naked in the morning). I don't think I'd have given it any thought. My mom took us swimming a lot and I don't think it would've occurred to her that my brother would've been 'scared' from being in the women's change room (in the days before 'family rooms' became available) so why vice versa? Somewhere someone must've planted that thought in you, that naked men are scary or something.
BTW, I'm not European either, so...

I had a more drawn out and wholesome childhood. We did things like family outings, bird watching, museums, seeing historic sights....you know normal family things that didn't involved viewing men's naked bodies.

My mum never planted the thought in me about naked men being scary because it wasn't brought up. She taught me about gardening, respecting nature/animals and read me books written by the likes of Beatrix Potter. Being shown men's genitals was not part of my childhood and I fail to see why it should have been.

My father kept himself respectfully covered. Men who exposed themselves to little girls were not considered nice at all. In fact they were arrested when the perverts were caught.

I didn't grow up to be prudish. Not at all. There's a time and place for everything. I'm very glad I never saw my father naked and I have no idea to what you think was gained by seeing your father and brother naked.

BTW, I'm not European either. I'm British.

Plus: lol. Like me seeing my dad naked negates me having a good childhood or somehow harmed me. LOL. Silly post. Pretty much all my mommy friends have kids who have seen their dads naked too. I guess they're all screwed up now!

I do think it's important for children to see regular adults naked. It shows them what NORMAL, non-media/porn bodies look like. It shows the naked body is not forbidden or dirty or disgusting or anything to be ashamed of. And I think of the UK as part of Europe, but perhaps Brits take offense to that. So, sorry about that.

a child on their own, but I think I might have skipped the gym and gone to the park instead. I'm not judging the guy. It seems there could have been other choices.

and wanted them where he could keep an eye on them.

I sincerely doubt they were all that traumatized. It might have been a little harder on the other patrons of the gym in that locker room.

Maybe management will suggest he leave the kids with one of their workers while he gets his shower.

out. They actually have their own little gym class while they are there. It seems like a good idea to me because I don't think I would want to run into little boys and girls while I'm trying to shower and change.

It didn't hurt the kids but it squicked out some of the other patrons.

Idiots take boys into the womens' (and ADULT only womens') when there are family shower-changing rooms available. Then they get pissed off if anyone mentions it to them. Inconsiderate assholes, period. Some of the boys are like 10 years old- and girls they go to school with are often pretty embarrassed.

5 or 6 year old boy in the womens locker room maybe but no older then that.

I had a 7-8 y/old boy walk into my shower with me one day. I was not happy.

and a 5 year old girl is too old for the men's locker room

i work with young kids and i would say putting them in that position is not a very good/smart idea. and it's gonna leave a lasting impression on them.

if my daughter's father had taken her into a men's locker room there would have been a major deal about it.

there were a lot of things i shielded my little girl from and a locker room of male genitalia was one of them.

i imagine the men in that locker room were not exactly crazy having a young girl in there looking at them in their various stages of undress.

I don't see it as a big deal any more than when my daughters saw my penis at about 4 years old when we were changing together and they said, "Daddy? What's that?"

It's no big deal, IMO.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]The truth doesn’t always set you free.
Sometimes it builds a bigger cage around the one you’re already in.[/center][/font][hr]

There are a dozen ways to look at this but second-guessing someone we don't know is pointless.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]I'm always right. When I'm wrong I admit it.
So then I'm right about being wrong.[/center][/font][hr]

Again, we're second-guessing someone we don't know. We also don't know the situation he was in, if any.

I don't ever see me doing that with my daughters even when they were that young but, hey, it would have been no big deal to them, either.

I agree with what some have said: Americans are prudes when it comes to sex and nudity. IMO.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]You should never stop having childhood dreams.[/center][/font][hr]

It goes both ways.

It's easy to postulate an exculpatory scenario, though. Maybe the father told the kids to wait outside for him and they came in anyways. At that point, the only reaction is to act frightened of them seeing 'evil nakedness' or to act nonchalant about it.

I mean, it's a possibility.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]Stop looking for heroes. BE one.[/center][/font][hr]

I remember when I first arrived in Germany, I stayed with a really sweet family (I'm still friends with them.) We watched a movie and there was a love scene with nudity and everything. Nobody cared. Kids were there. This was on public broadcasting during the years before cable. The Europeans censor for violence instead of sex.

Also, there are public parks in Germany where people strip down to sun. I mean completely strip. Kids around and everything. Nobody cares. They laugh at how prudish Americans are.

They lived close enough to the border to pick up French over the air TV. More than a few of the shows contained nudity and sex scenes.

it was no big deal. i just dont really want to change into a suit in front of someone elses young children. but no one went to management or anything far as i could tell. just went about their business. lot of the guys in there are retired older gentlemen.

But it must be a tiny locker room if someone who feels embarrassed can't move out of sight.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]Don't ever underestimate the long-term effects of a good night's sleep.[/center][/font][hr]

if you saw a child viewing this?

museums for the educational value. Marble or it could be a flat canvas is the difference. Real flesh with hairy genitals is another story. Although, I had seen my boy cousins naked, I think I would have been traumatized by a grown naked man.

Why bother putting doors on locker rooms - or even have locker rooms? Why not just one big room with showers on one side. Think of how much money it would save.

Sometimes they ate each other.

We went from discussing issues of privacy, community and modesty to infanticide and cannibalism?

I need time to process ...

issues?

You can rule out being prudish.

Nope. "Not at all."

not because of them seeing nude men- I don't care about that - but because they might have classmates or friends changing who might be embarrassed to have a girl (particularly one they know) in the locker room with them, and their comfort should be considered.

He needs to stop the gym obsession when he's with his daughter, and just NOT go.

they have free swimming classes for the kids. and the rest of the week you rarely see any children around.

You can't have it all always. A 7 year old girl finds it gross to be seeing a bunch of naked men, just as a 7 year old boy would find it gross to be seeing a bunch of females of all ages (even grandmas), naked. It's not fair. Take the kids to a museum, to a restaurant, go throw a few balls, play a few baskets, or for goodness' sakes, take a jog at the frikkin' park. That's what I'd tell this guy. Ya know?

at that point i think the father has to decide whether to let the daughter see 50-60 year old men in all their glory which probably will gross her out or leave her and her brother standing waiting somewhere out of his sight while he runs in to the locker room. i probably would have asked the staff to watch em real quick. there is an area where 5-6 staff sit in a room watching the whole swimming area.

I'm glad I grew up in an environment where nudity was unremarkable.

Why? Because I'm mature about nudity.

Quite frankly we need more of it so people will just chill out about it.

Damn puritans.

And prohibits children of the opposite sex is the restroom if the kid is over 5.

...in the locker room of the local Y.

The girl was much younger, however, maybe about 3. Old enough to be talking semi-coherently, not an infant by far, and it's her voice that made me look up and notice that as I was changing my clothes across the room from a naked little girl.

I didn't say anything, I just finished changing into my workout clothes and went about my business. And really, as weird at that was, I couldn't figure out what else a father would do if he's got his very young daughter with him and has to get her out of a wet bathing suit. I think there's have been more grief if he'd brought her into the women's locker room.

...frequented by many families whose kids were patients at the pediatric office where I am a nurse practitioner. There were private changing cubicles available, and I always used one. My thinking was, "It's one thing if I see your child half naked on my exam table. It's quite another if you or your child see me naked in the gym locker room."

Ain't no way that was going to be happening.

2 sons, no daughters. I never liked having my own kids in the bathroom with me, even at home.

I would likely have tried to make some other arrangements at the gym

Like family restrooms at the movie theaters.

It's also about naked men seeing the girl. The men in my family, husband, sons, uncles, cousins, would not expose themselves to a seven year old girl. They would find it disgusting/embarrassing, as would any decent male.

The little girl probably has grown up with her idiotic father prancing around naked in front of her. I hope the mother of these children puts a stop to this. He needs to find another activity for his day with his children, or have the pool staff or a woman watch the children when he's in the men's locker room.

We've no idea what sort of situation that father found himself in with his two children, some families love to swim on their days off.

Do you honestly believe that daddy should deny his kids some fun with him in a pool, just because he hasn't a woman around to tend to changing them out of wet swimming suits? Drying off and putting on warm clothes after swimming is fairly important, especially when using a pool in the wintertime.

People have many ideas of what is decent and what is not. I wouldn't go so far as to say that anyone was idiotic for having differing feelings of modesty.

Is eight. So no, seven is no big deal. Honestly if I saw an unaccompanied little kid in a locker room I'd be far more concerned. He was being a good dad keeping his kid safe.

In America, the maturity level is insanely low concerning social body attitudes. In many European countries it wouldn't even be noticed and there would be respect and innocence and mixed nudity would be expected in certain social situation, beach, swimming, spas whatever.

In the states... No way. This place is screwed up where natural social activities are concerned.

He couldn't leave her on her own. I don't see the big deal. It's like mothers taking their little boys into the women's restrooms. Do you ever think anything about that? The parent has to go into the restroom or locker room that corresponds to their gender, and the kids come with. The only potential problem I see is if there was a pedophile in there, but the dad was looking after her. She would have been in a lot more danger on her own.

A good parent would not let their kids out of their sight in such a public place as you've described.