The Compassion Gap
A photo of Johnny and his mom, Truffles Weethee, accompanied the column and readers honed in on Truffles’ tattoos and weight.
“You show a photograph of a fat woman with tons of tattoos all over that she paid for,” one caller said. “And then we — boohoo — have to worry about the fact that her children aren’t cared for properly?”
On Twitter, Amy was more polite: “My heart breaks for Johnny. I have to wonder if the $$ mom spent on tattoos could have been put to better use.”
“This is typical of the left,” Pancho scolded on my Facebook page. “It’s not anyone’s fault. Responsibility is somebody else’s problem.”
To me, such outrage at a doting mom based on her appearance suggests the myopic tendency in our country to blame poverty on the poor, to confuse economic difficulties with moral failures, to muddle financial lapses with ethical ones.
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/02/opinion/sunday/kristof-the-compassion-gap.html?hp&rref=opinion&_r=0
= new reply since forum marked as read
Attack the victim, and ignore the problem. Can't see it from my back yard.
those comments are so crass. And people are so stupid about tattoos too. They could be old, or paid for by someone else. It's the same 'omg, they have a smart phone they can't be poor' bs, neglecting the million and one reasons why that person could have something even if they are poor.
An example: I'm not poor, but I'm on the edge. I'm a single parent who is also a full time student. I have 4 kids. We all have laptops. I can just hear those same people: how can she need help when her kids have laptops? Well, I have well off parents who, for some g-d reason, refuse to help me out with groceries but have no issues buying my kids luxury items. They bought my oldest her computer. They also bought her an iPad mini this Christmas. My second daughter bought her own computer with money from her paper route and has a Nintendo 3DS from my parents. My third daughter had her computer given to her by her other set of grandparents who got the laptop for free for signing up for a 3-year term of internet. They didn't like the laptop, they prefer their desktops. My youngest had her computer given to her by her dad who gave her his old one. I have my computer because I need it for school - my school has a 'technology integration' program where you bring your laptop to class everyday and do your homework on different programs (excel, word, access, and half a dozen accounting or tax programs). I needed to have a good one that could handle all these memory intensive programs.
There are other 'luxury' gifts my parents give me that would make me look 'not poor'. I've sold a few things to get extra money but my parents are very controlling and want to see their gifts in use. It disgusts me that if I have a certain handbag or phone someone might judge me...I have tattoos too, all paid for when I was married and had a lot of spending money (yeah, look at that, I didn't have 4 kids to collect welfare or whatever...I had 4 kids while I was married and well off...how was I supposed to know my ex would leave me and bankrupt us through bad business deals?)
My parents are a lot like these judgemental people. They don't like that I went back to school instead of working to support the kids (I have a decent amount of child/spousal support to get by until I graduate. I start working and the spousal support disappears, might as well go to school so I have a better chance of making more money long term). They hate that I technically am under the poverty line (here in Canada child support doesn't count for taxable income and my spousal support is under the poverty line) so I get some gov't benefits for my kids. They forget that when things weren't as great for them, they used the same type of programs. But, of course, for THEM it was DIFFERENT. Just like with every conservative they think - "programs shouldn't help YOU but they should help ME when *I* need it because *I* deserve it."
anyway. 
