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Drew Richards

(1,558 posts)
Wed Mar 5, 2014, 05:13 PM Mar 2014

Finally Proof of the Existence of God.


The Babel fish, is small, yellow and leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It feeds on brainwave energy received not from its own carrier but from those around it. It absorbs all unconscious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nourish itself with. It then excretes into the mind of its carrier a telepathic matrix formed by combining the conscious thought frequencies with nerve signals picked up from the speech centres of the brain which has supplied them. The practical upshot of all this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything in any form of language. The speech patterns you actually hear decode the brainwave matrix which has been fed into your mind by your Babel fish.

"Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindbogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.

"The argument goes something like this: 'I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, 'for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.'

"'But,' says Man, 'the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED.'

"'Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

"'Oh, that was easy,' says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.

"Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo's kidneys, but that didn't stop Oolon Colluphid making a small fortune when he used it as the central theme of his bestselling book, Well That about Wraps It Up for God.

"Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation."
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Finally Proof of the Existence of God. (Original Post) Drew Richards Mar 2014 OP
Fortytwo. nt flamin lib Mar 2014 #1
damn. youre quick! bunnies Mar 2014 #3
What do you get if you multiply six by nine? nt sarisataka Mar 2014 #38
i like the whale: unblock Mar 2014 #2
I still wonder why the Petunias said "oh no not again"... Drew Richards Mar 2014 #4
Have you read the third novel, "Life, The Universe, And Everything"? Aristus Mar 2014 #7
The petunias were another incarnation of Agrajag. opiate69 Mar 2014 #10
Sorry I was being cheeky...but thx for the link. Drew Richards Mar 2014 #13
My bad.. so hard to discern subtlety sometimes online.. opiate69 Mar 2014 #16
The BBC used an old pitch tape to have Adams play Agrajag on the radio tribute... Junkdrawer Mar 2014 #17
Agrajag is a great character, but I have to say, my favorite is opiate69 Mar 2014 #25
I'll have to choose Wonko the Sane arcane1 Mar 2014 #30
My name? That's not important. Now, come with me. GoneOffShore Mar 2014 #5
I believe the oddest thing in the universe is a neutron star snooper2 Mar 2014 #6
and...could a neutron star just be the outtie to a black holes innie? :) Drew Richards Mar 2014 #15
Yeah but just try putting a neutron star in your ear! n/t truedelphi Mar 2014 #28
The history of warfare is similarly subdivided... Junkdrawer Mar 2014 #8
RIP, Douglas Adams. nt LisaLynne Mar 2014 #9
Indeed :( Drew Richards Mar 2014 #11
So long and thanks for all the fish nadinbrzezinski Mar 2014 #12
"Oh god...NOT this AGAIN..." yuiyoshida Mar 2014 #14
THREAD WIN! Drew Richards Mar 2014 #18
For shame. Everybody knows that this is Marvin. longship Mar 2014 #31
Were there two versions of yuiyoshida Mar 2014 #32
My version is from the original TV series. longship Mar 2014 #34
oh okay, I had also thought yuiyoshida Mar 2014 #35
And Doctor Who. nt longship Mar 2014 #37
Movie version vs TV version. progressoid Mar 2014 #36
How can I not participate in this thread? I must contribute something. Electric Monk Mar 2014 #19
Remember...where ever you go... Drew Richards Mar 2014 #20
Well, as long as we're quoting literature: Warren DeMontague Mar 2014 #21
is that Osho or illuminatus? Drew Richards Mar 2014 #22
The latter. Warren DeMontague Mar 2014 #24
"What are laws to sons of God?" --Freddy Nietzsche. Manifestor_of_Light Mar 2014 #26
Sure, that's all well and good.... until Godzilla destroys Tokyo. Warren DeMontague Mar 2014 #27
I am currently re-reading the series. janlyn Mar 2014 #23
The absolute best version is the audio books read by Douglas Adams himself. longship Mar 2014 #29
Don't forget your towel! Tuesday Afternoon Mar 2014 #33
Perfectly normal beasts quaker bill Mar 2014 #39

unblock

(52,253 posts)
2. i like the whale:
Wed Mar 5, 2014, 05:17 PM
Mar 2014

... and what's this thing coming toward me very fast? So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like 'Ow', 'Ownge', 'Round', 'Ground'! That's it! Ground! Ha! I wonder if it'll be friends with me? Hello, Ground!

Aristus

(66,388 posts)
7. Have you read the third novel, "Life, The Universe, And Everything"?
Wed Mar 5, 2014, 05:27 PM
Mar 2014

If not, one word: Agrajag.

It all makes sense...

Junkdrawer

(27,993 posts)
17. The BBC used an old pitch tape to have Adams play Agrajag on the radio tribute...
Wed Mar 5, 2014, 05:32 PM
Mar 2014

series for the 3rd, 4th & 5th book.

Thus, for me, it is a VERY memorable character.

 

opiate69

(10,129 posts)
25. Agrajag is a great character, but I have to say, my favorite is
Wed Mar 5, 2014, 05:50 PM
Mar 2014

Wowbagger the infinitely prolonged

Junkdrawer

(27,993 posts)
8. The history of warfare is similarly subdivided...
Wed Mar 5, 2014, 05:27 PM
Mar 2014

though here the phases are retribution, anticipation, and diplomacy.

Thus, retribution: “I’m going to kill you because you killed my brother.”

Anticipation: “I’m going to kill you because I killed your brother.”

And diplomacy: “I’m going to kill my brother and then kill you on the pretext that your brother did it.”

longship

(40,416 posts)
31. For shame. Everybody knows that this is Marvin.
Wed Mar 5, 2014, 06:12 PM
Mar 2014


Yours is a pale imitation. And probably is happy and ebullient on top of everything, maybe a version of your plastic pal who's fun to be with.

yuiyoshida

(41,832 posts)
32. Were there two versions of
Wed Mar 5, 2014, 06:15 PM
Mar 2014

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy? I seem to remember him..and this one. Did they do a remake?

longship

(40,416 posts)
34. My version is from the original TV series.
Wed Mar 5, 2014, 06:28 PM
Mar 2014

The other one was from the horrible movie version reboot, which missed the mark by a rather wide margin. (In the opinion of many Adams fans.)

And there was also a BBC radio series.

At least one of them came before the books.

yuiyoshida

(41,832 posts)
35. oh okay, I had also thought
Wed Mar 5, 2014, 06:31 PM
Mar 2014

They took the tv series and cut it down for a movie..guess that didn't happen, btw, I read all his books, I loved the series, and a few other books that Douglas Adams wrote as well. He also wrote a few episodes for Blake Seven too, I believe.

progressoid

(49,991 posts)
36. Movie version vs TV version.
Wed Mar 5, 2014, 06:35 PM
Mar 2014

The one you posted was from the Movie version. The other is from the BBC 2 series from 1981 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hitchhiker%27s_Guide_to_the_Galaxy_%28TV_series%29

There are also radio, LP, and audio book versions too.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
21. Well, as long as we're quoting literature:
Wed Mar 5, 2014, 05:39 PM
Mar 2014
Every authoritarian logogram divides society, as it divides the individual, into alienated halves. Those at the bottom suffer what I shall call the burden of nescience. The natural sensory activity of the biogram—what the person sees, hears, smells, tastes, feels, and, above all, what the organism as a whole, or as a potential whole, wants—is always irrelevant and immaterial. The authoritarian logogram, not the field of sensed experience, determines what is relevant and material. This is as true of a highly paid advertising copywriter as it is of an engine lathe operator. The person acts, not on personal experience and the evaluations of the nervous system, but on the orders from above. Thus, personal experience and personal judgment being nonoperational, these functions become also less “real.” They exist, if at all, only in that fantasy land which Freud called the Unconscious. Since nobody has found a way to prove that the Freudian Unconscious really exists, it can be doubted that personal experience and personal judgment exist; it is an act of faith to assume they do. The organism has become, as Marx said, “a tool, a machine, a robot.”

Those at the top of the authoritarian pyramid, however, suffer an equal and opposite burden of omniscience. All that is forbidden to the servile class— the web of perception, evaluation and participation in the sensed universe— is demanded of the members of the master class. They must attempt to do the seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, feeling and decision-making for the whole society.

But a man with a gun is told only that which people assume will not provoke him to pull the trigger. Since all authority and government are based on force, the master class, with its burden of omniscience, faces the servile class, with its burden of nescience, precisely as a highwayman faces his victim. Communication is possible only between equals. The master class never abstracts enough information from the servile class to know what is actually going on in the world where the actual productivity of society occurs. Furthermore, the logogram of any authoritarian society remains fairly inflexible as time passes, but everything else in the universe constantly changes. The result can only be progressive disorientation among the rulers. The end is debacle.

The schizophrenia of authoritarianism exists both in the individual and in the whole society.

I call this the Snafu Principle.
 

Manifestor_of_Light

(21,046 posts)
26. "What are laws to sons of God?" --Freddy Nietzsche.
Wed Mar 5, 2014, 05:53 PM
Mar 2014

Also, the best name ever in fiction is Zaphod Beeblebrox.

janlyn

(735 posts)
23. I am currently re-reading the series.
Wed Mar 5, 2014, 05:48 PM
Mar 2014

I have a few favorite authors who are worth reading more than once. Douglas Adams being in my top 5. Of course he is from my hometown, so as my son would say " you got to represent"

longship

(40,416 posts)
29. The absolute best version is the audio books read by Douglas Adams himself.
Wed Mar 5, 2014, 06:07 PM
Mar 2014

Bar none!

He is incredible. In fact, for the radio series done after he died, they dubbed in his rendering of Agrajag from the audio book. It's flawless.

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