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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsThis Is Either the Best or Worst Lawyer Commercial Ever Made
Slate:If youre a [cough, cough] completely innocent resident of Pittsburgh whos been [exaggerated wink] wrongly accused of a crime, Daniel Muessig is the criminal defense attorney for you. Muessig has released a hilariously blunt advertisement for his services featuring a montage of (fictional) local rapscallions committing crimes like burglary, home invasion, prescription fraud, conspiracy, drug trafficking, prostitution, and solicitation, all of whom thank Dan for representing them after they make off with their loot. Im the Pittsburgh criminal defense attorney Pittsburgh criminals hire when they commit crimes, says Muessig.
Lawyering isnt Muessig's only hustle. When hes not starring in viral videos or successfully reducing the bail of a suspect in a bakery robbery, Muessig also dabbles in freestyle rapping and crime novel writing. His 2011 e-book Nightwork, set in Philadelphia, follows a small group of young Jewish criminals who fight to control a slice of the city's marijuana trade. But it all unravels in a few days, leaving one man to avenge his friends, elude police, and survive in a pitiless city.
Editing a flashing "REAL DEFENSE ATTORNEY" sign over your sales pitch might make lesser lawyers seam unserious, but by the videos conclusion, Muessigs schtick has us convinced that he's the man to call should we ever find ourselves in a sticky situation in the greater Pittsburgh area. Any criminal defense attorney who promises you a result is most likely a liar or a scumbag, Muessig declares correctly. But what I can promise you is my committed, fighting effort to make sure youre adequately defended on any charge that youre facing. He adds: I pick up the phone, I answer calls, I return letters, and I make jail visits. Because Ill probably be there, visiting my friends anyway.
Lawyering isnt Muessig's only hustle. When hes not starring in viral videos or successfully reducing the bail of a suspect in a bakery robbery, Muessig also dabbles in freestyle rapping and crime novel writing. His 2011 e-book Nightwork, set in Philadelphia, follows a small group of young Jewish criminals who fight to control a slice of the city's marijuana trade. But it all unravels in a few days, leaving one man to avenge his friends, elude police, and survive in a pitiless city.
Editing a flashing "REAL DEFENSE ATTORNEY" sign over your sales pitch might make lesser lawyers seam unserious, but by the videos conclusion, Muessigs schtick has us convinced that he's the man to call should we ever find ourselves in a sticky situation in the greater Pittsburgh area. Any criminal defense attorney who promises you a result is most likely a liar or a scumbag, Muessig declares correctly. But what I can promise you is my committed, fighting effort to make sure youre adequately defended on any charge that youre facing. He adds: I pick up the phone, I answer calls, I return letters, and I make jail visits. Because Ill probably be there, visiting my friends anyway.
Punchline "I may have a Law Degree, but I think like a Criminal..."
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This Is Either the Best or Worst Lawyer Commercial Ever Made (Original Post)
brooklynite
Mar 2014
OP
LumosMaxima
(585 posts)1. Funny as hell. nt
GReedDiamond
(5,313 posts)2. "I think like a criminal." -- nt
JJChambers
(1,115 posts)3. It's funny because it's true
And he has a sense of humor.
Pretzel_Warrior
(8,361 posts)4. Wow.
jollyreaper2112
(1,941 posts)5. Wow
Can you admire someone's candor while still wanting to see bad things happen to him?
Sheldon Cooper
(3,724 posts)6. Almost as good as this:
Earth_First
(14,910 posts)7. "...and I make jail visits"
"Probably because I'm there visiting friends..."