And I've used versions of a few of 'em already, myself.

So I told them if I ever had to take them in and put them up in our spare bedroom, they'd discover my welcome present would be having Pox Noise removed from my cable package.

The best I've ever done is illicit the pansy-ass retort "well… I don't know…"

Which is usually what they say when they have nothing else to say or can't rebut my argument or don't feel like arguing any longer. Because they've tired of me, or the argument, or both, I guess. So then I simply smile and chuckle and say "well, THAT'S certainly true!"

They should have a tv show like Americas Funniest Home Videos. Call it Americas Funniest Republicans for moments like those.

Word!

My other faves:
1. A Socialist wrote the Pledge of Allegiance
18. Paying taxes is patriotic

My recollection is that the nuns were NOT happy about that.

Did Hartmann really make this one up?

Tea parties are for little girls with imaginary friends...

I call bullshit on that one.

Jesus was a despicable charlatan.

unless they are a hard core deadender like Rumsfeld, Cheney, Limbaugh, Hannity, et al

eta: tweeted this for Republican joy

also : tel them that at one time governor ronald ray gun once said ," paying taxes is a privledge , not a right". that gets them going . note : i dont have a link.

But it's pure gold:

"Why didn't they do or say anything about abortion when they had both houses and the Presidency from 2001 to 2007?"

I think I'll use it.

Often.

They love it as an issue.

But I can't imagine what the Republicans hope to gain from this radical anti abortion stance.

I liked several of these but was struck by Number 8. I do think a candidate's physical attractiveness or unattractiveness should be used to score political points (even though I realize this probably played a large part in her selection). I do not think these kinds of statements are humorous.

He even lied about how much the State would make and screwed up our budget big time. Adelson's big issue (besides Israel) is anti-online gaming.

How did these two get together???