was the men didn't like it.

We always hear they are always up for doing it and would jump at the chance, yet most of the men she asked to go home with her said no.

We also often hear how we women really like all that and appreciate being appreciated for our looks. Yet a lot of those men clearly didn't appreciate the treatment themselves.

People are not always what we think of them. Also, I think its so unexpected that I would be naturally suspicious as well.

Women should be more accustomed to this bullshit.

Are just jealous because they don't get the attention. Yup, a long time DUer (and others) have said that to me. Totally delusional sexist bullshit.

from the perspective i was coming from. reading that reply.

and nothing more.

He may or may not have meant to, but was also making a blanket excuse why these "individual" dudes didn't welcome the attention. Not so well thought out, LOL..... but also did not like the implication that anyone should get used to this crap. Just no.

equally. it is a feel and a face. i give it back and EVERYTIME, the man has lowered eyes and hurried, literaly picked up the speed, walking away.

it is a duh. we know it. not even messing with the stupid.

wear that skirt, ever again, or else I'm going to have to hear pornographic comments. And end up cursing at strangers. Ugh.

as long as you are the martyr for the good of mans "visual"

so funny.

interesting

i gotta go....

I'm against this sort of behavior and would not like it if its done to me either.

it's creepy and scary. If you heard this kind of stuff regularly for years on end, how would you feel? It isn't good. You feel like prey.

starts and ya.... as late in life it continues.

"attractive" as I would be on an easier day when I was better groomed and appearing more confident. So much for it being a result of great beauty- it was more like trying to cull the weak from the herd.

After my months of exhaustion and stress when my Dad was dying, and in a lot of pain, I looked like a wreck. And was hassled more frequently and persistently than ever before. It wasn't just dudes telling me to "smile more" but there was a lot of that too, and it wasn't appreciated one fucking bit. When I recovered and got my act together, it happened quite a bit less. But for a while there, it was constant, and keeping a low profile/ baggy clothes didn't help at all. So strange.

that it bounced off you more readily when you felt better. like a fuck you

instead of it simply sittin on you more, cause you were already down.

again. thanks for your words, direction. lol

it made NO sense that I would arouse that much extra attention. (Because you blame yourself for wearing a pretty dress or lipstick on a good day)
Hadn't had a good nights sleep in months, was drawn and scrawny and obviously hurting. If anything, the comments were a bit more personal/ invasive trying to get with me and less of the throwaway "Hey baby" stuff. I realize now I must have looked like easy pickins, possibly someone with no self worth or a very hard life. That intense period lasted about 8-9 months. Then I got my shit together and brushed my hair, LOL. And smiled more often, boom, the creepy remarks lessened immediately. It was remarkable to me.

but, it really did not feel like it felt like a self worth issue. more.... i wasnt on stage. and being demanded to be on stage. and thinking, saying, ... glaring, NO.

gonna think about all this. love it. two nieces and two sons talking all this stuff, also.

sign signalling low self worth, lower expectations, etc. Not that this is was true of me, I was just exhausted and sadden by life. But I appeared very weak and was, just not in the way those guys hoped, I think.

And bought in to the "that's the price of being pretty" bullshit. Not true.

and me merely stating that, i will guarantee that there will be men that snark at that.

check this-

Nothing like turning the table.

And no, they didn't like it--not one bit.

One of the great benefits of being older is getting rid of the constant ogling, sexist comments, and unasked for advances. And think--women put up with this from the time they are maybe 12, 13 years old!

I want to show this to my classes but I'm afraid they won't understand the accents.


Cher

p.s. and thanks for the 'toon, Bernardo. Absolutely nails it.

It was illuminating but not in the way she intended. Wonder how many she had to edit out who took her up on her offer to go home with her. The guy at the end "I have to go to the bank first"

God knows what you're going on about

You DO know exactly what I am "going on about".

It didn't seem like an issue to the men in that video. The video sorta backfired.

Of men empowered by a sexist society to be able to brush harassment off like that.

in 99% of the country.

Sexual harassment happens to everyone from time to time but I sincerely doubt it's constant unless one is a sex worker.

Because you can't experience what we have all our lives. And it is much worse when there are no "nice guys" around paying attention, so a lot of "nice guys" don't know the truth. We know this because we've discussed this with many of them in real life, and they are often shocked and upset. I also know jerks who think this shit is no big deal, and laugh it off, and they are not worth my time.
Thx, and bye now.

Why would a man even hazard a guess? Do they imagine women are making this shit up?

What specifically leads you to believe it's not a consistent problem in the US?

and she says it actually isn't that bad, either.

Who to believe????

One of my supervisors would make lewd comments and innuendo to all the females at work...and I assure you, it was that bad. He would grope girls while we were closing up.

And I do mean "girls" - I was 16; it was my first job.

He was a 30-something married guy with kids. *skeevy*

i'm giving him the side eye for that plausible deniability crap. Because it isn't actually plausible.

Your denial notwithstanding.

then she absolutely nailed it.

The YouTube comments seem to agree.

Women wouldn't be.

I don't think the point was to offend them. The point was to show how odd it is for it to happen to men. Unfortunately, it isn't odd for it to happen to women/girls.

The guy in the home improvement store is a good example. He wasn't offended, but he was shocked the customer would even ask to be waited on by a woman, as if the guy couldn't be as knowledgable.

Pretty girls don't just come up and ask "do you wanna screw?"

The confused men in that video either had English as a second language or were looking for the hidden camera. It's only stunning because it never happens, and everyone knows that.

Did anyone actually think that men are normally asked questions like that in the street? I think "turning the table" means she meant to offend the men and she didn't.

Exactly. Now you understand male privilege.

The looks of confusion you saw were an indication that they knew it was a setup.

Sorry to burst your bubble, mate

I wonder if you realize how defensive you seem to be about topics like this? What are you afraid of?

You seem eager to ignore the reality of what happened in the video, and what she was trying to show, and how it backfired.

If you don't believe me, look at the Youtube comments. It was obvious to most who watched the video what happened. Your view of this is distorted by ideology.

That was the point of the video - to illustrate how men are surprised when they are subjected to the kind of treatment women experience every day. How did that backfire?

What point do you think the video was trying to make?

I can't believe you think it's ok for women to regularly experience comments like that, and I'm sure you don't speak to women that way yourself, so I don't understand why you object to this video experiment, which could serve to show some people how ridiculous it is that women have to experience comments like that, while men don't. (On edit: and of course they shouldn't have to - nobody should).

because a pretty girl half their age propositioned them in the street. The group of good looking guys who appeared to be in her "league" laughed it off.

They are only surprised at that because it is so rare. Which everyone already knows, don't we? So what exactly did the video prove?

After being taken apart on twitter, the woman who created this wrote an article (an explanation really) where she described the "disbelief" of the men. For the guys who didn't laugh it off or take her up on her offer, it was not disbelief at this horrible, objectifying treatment, but at the unusual nature of the situation. The comments tear her to shreds. She doesn't even bother to address the most often stated point that the men weren't offended because it shoots holes straight through the experiment.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/apr/07/turning-tables-sexual-aggression-everyday-sexism

This is the Guardian crowd, not right wingers. Unfortunately for Leah Green, they possess brains. Some people have to believe that this bothers men just like Christian fundamentalists have to believe that the earth is 5000 years old. If you have to believe, fine, but the words "turning the tables" misrepresents what actually happened in the video. It's okay to just say "women are offended by this, please knock it off" instead of making a unintentionally humorous video and then lying about the results to prove a non-existent point.

I said they were surprised.

I don't think the point was to offend the men, which may be why the author doesn't address that issue. I think the point was to contrast the rarity of men receiving this treatment with the frequency of women receiving it.

Women have to deal with crap like that all the time. Some women are offended, some are afraid, and I'm sure some are even bemused - but they're probably not confused, unfortunately.

I think *that's* the point - it's so common for women, that they know exactly what's happening, and it's so rare for men, that they're confused by it.

The "turning the tables" was merely the reversal of the giver & receiver of the comments, not that their reactions or feelings about it should be equivalent.

...and I'm pretty sure the person in the video is a woman, not a girl.

It's small minded and narcissistic, and his POV is rapidly dying out. The last gasps of privilege are pretty fucking funny to watch.

"Offended" wasn't what she was going after. She was trying to show how men would react to the treatment many women get and what she found is that men react the same as women - shocked and stunned and not quite knowing what to say or do at such blatant come ons.

This is just more painting with a broad brush.

How many is the practically acceptable amount?

And what is your big plan to solve it?


Not snark. Seriously what is the plan? What are our practically achievable goals?

Important stuff for a movement to think about.

Is it because your expectations can't realistically be met?

Or is it merely an issue of logistics?

are actually discussing the issue.

you have made your position very very clear on du. you and i are doing an old dance. it is a waste of time.

According to SeaBeyond, of course.

Is there some reason you believe women should actually put up with cat calls and indecent proposals from strangers?

Why does it bother you that we discuss this common social phenomenon? I'm curious why it should concern you so very much?

I'm just curious as to why you think this will ever change?

at the workplace until the 80's. (It is still too common today with laws in place.) How did it get better? Women raising hell about it.

Lots of sexist crap is slowly getting better, but we're not there yet on lots of issues. It's not like someone waved a wand and made it all better when a few women burned their bras. It don't work that way.

Why won't you explain why discussing this issue bothers you so much? Why do you not just ignore it if you don't care about it?
Please explain your motivation. Thanks.

Sorry wasn't around then so I've never known that world.

I just think the issue is overblown considering how far we've advanced. Also I find the notion that harassment is supported by men in general to be ridiculous.

It's more shit stirring and Debby/Derek downism than actually something productive for the party.

Not going to happen, get used to it, or move on.

Again, you cannot explain why this issue attracts you? Interesting.

Probably daddy/mommy issues for all I know..

it's funny cos it's true

And demonstrations like the video in the OP can be a good teaching tool for young people.

I'll probably show it to my 13 y.o. son, so he might understand the problem BEFORE he's around other guys who might harass women/girls.

instead of arguing with women how relatively unimportant it is.
fuck that, it's not their call anymore what is important,those fellas have got to get over that notion.

exactly

weighing in. Does it ever occur to them no one asked for their blessing to discuss it? It appears not.

that women... do not need men... to speak or think for us.

to see that realization materialize on a face, is the best.

i say

in love.

just too fucking mind blowingly hard. So they slink away after I snatch the mike from them, LOL.

time a female is 12 or 13 she hears this shit rather steadily. By the time they are 25, when any guy even attempts to strike up a conversation they are confused because the woman will give them the cold shoulder, shut them down, tell them to fuck off etc. right off the bat. It really isn't confusing to me.

Walking to the grocery store, honks, hey sexy, I wanna a piece of that. A guy tries to even approach me, even in a benign way at the store is going to get a fuck off. It is not the nice guys fault, but you get sick, sick, sick of it. It is not flattering to hear "wanna suck my cock?" nice ass, can I lick your tits. Until the nice guys open their mouths and shut down those of their gender that act and say this shit, they will also have the outcome of it laid at their feet.

stop saying it so well.

your whole post.

Getting old and crippled and fat sux

Makes no sense...

There are tells you can pick up on quickly. Women generally don't cat call anyway, so I am not indulging his fantasy any longer. Thxbai.

When they get to know the real me - not the appearance of me, not the message board me - most do like me.

But to throw in a serious point - yes, it is time men quit being rude pigs and treat everyone around them with more respect.

There are plenty of risque, sexually interested women in this world for a bawdy guy. He just has to learn a little patience and find out who's who. Let her make more of the moves - if she's into you, guys, awesome. If not, quit being an asshole and let her be.

ah. and if we are not into some strange man on the street yelling at us to suck his cock, we are merely not "sexually interested women"

really?

Stay angry, my friend.

what do you mean, specifying the "sexually interested woman".

on your shoulders.

you think i misinterpreted what you said. i do not see how there is a misinterpretation talking about street harassment. and you letting us know the "men" just need to find the "sexually interested woman". what were you saying then, if i have it wrong?

No, at no point did I ever support catcalling strangers. I am talking about dirty talk between consenting adults.

And some do not. It's nothing good bad or indifferent one way or another. It does not give men the right to treat women badly. To catcall or insult them.

All I am saying is, if a man wants to talk dirty to a woman, he has an obligation to have an established relationship. And he has an obligation to back off if she in not interested, or loses interest.

lots of women. as there are lots of men that like to talk dirty sex to their women they choose to be with.

has nothing to do with "some women like sex" and sexual harassment. we hear a lot that if a woman says anything about this or that.... like harassment or other womens issues we are prudes, frigid, anti sex, asexual, ect....

that is what your post sounded like to me. i am glad that is not what you meant.

thank you.

ya think

Just kinda curious where you stand on the issue of aging smartasses.

and happy to call friend. That is my preference. The choice is yours.

"Ginny's got nice melons" at @ the 3:14 mark.

by being a sexist to people who are not sexist?

I understand what this piece was trying to accomplish, but the answer to obnoxious asshole men isn't being an obnoxious asshole yourself - even if it's sole purpose is to make a point. This made me cringe.

Most men know that this isn't okay.

because it's not acceptable behavior.

Either that, or pepper spray to the face.

the poster really appreciates you answering for her. So helpful, you are. Not rude at all, not you. Nope, no way. You are ever the helpful gentleman. The proverbial White Knight, you are.

A lot of people think I'm female based on my name or something, but I don't bother correcting them, as being female isn't a negative thing.

Mea culpa.

is that I wish I could more. But I am only one man!

Make it so that our culture no longer accepts this sort of behavior. This movie unintentionally promotes the opposite.

An eye for an eye makes the world blind. Trying to correct obnoxious behavior with obnoxious behavior is like trying to put a fire out with a flamethrower.

Was not the video the catalyst for this discussion on this message board, hence shedding even more light? I notice some roaches have already appeared in this thread and even as I type they are running for their dark corners hoping to hide and not be exposed for the roaches they, indeed, are.

If you have to become like your enemy to defeat your enemy, what does that make you? (You as in society, not you as in you)

explained to them and that permission was asked for them to be included in an Educational Video?

What about Candid Camera? what about Punked? what about JackAss?