Seriously? We could lose to these guys?

These are the beliefs of the opposition...

Life begins at conception. Life should be protected from conception until... birth. Then... you are on your own fucker. ( I read about a tribe in Africa that believes life begins at the first "thought" of conception. Life begins when you "decide" to have a child. Imagine what the Republicans could do with that one!

Torture or "enhanced interrogation" as the double digit IQ's like to call it, is a wonderful tool in the war on terror. They love to fucking torture people. And although it's been proven that torture actually didn't get us any information, it did provide Cheney and Rumsfeld with a big old daily woody, thus saving the taxpayers lots of Viagra money.

Working 3 jobs is "Uniquely American". Unless of course they are 3 minimum wage jobs and you still need Food Stamps or TANF funds to make ends meet, then you are a lazy, slovenly, freeloading, taker who is a complete leech on society... When you have time of course.

The USA has the greatest health care system in the world. Yes that's right, The Greatest.(Ok so we're really 37th) And all you lazy, slovenly, freeloading, takers need to stop applying for health care, because if you actually get health care for all the people, then the rich people might have to wait an extra day to see a doctor. And just what would we do then?

Veterans need to shut up, go fight and quit whining when they come home. Yes that is what the Republican Chickenhawks believe. They will easily send your sons or daughters to fight in useless phony baloney wars and invasions(Vietnam, Panama, Grenada, Gulf War 1, Gulf War 2, Afghanistan) and borrow a trillion from the Chinese to pay for it. But when the soldiers get home and need mental and physical health care well.. let me quote the Republicans "There is no money to pay for it". Yes that is why they voted against aid for veterans, because there is no money. HEY DID YOU SEE OUR NEW $250 MILLION RAIL GUN? IT'S SO AWESOME!!!! AND IT ONLY COSTS $25,000 PER ROUND TO FIRE!!

The US is a Christian nation. 95% of Americans identify as Christian. But.... THERE IS A WAR ON CHRISTIANITY! That's right folks the 5% of us who don't identify as "Christian" are OPPRESSING the other 95% of America. Those poor Christians, how horrible it must be to have someone disagree with you when you call another human being an "abomination". The terror they must feel during "Pride Week". The incredible load they must carry knowing that at any moment the other 5% could usurp their authority...

Minmum wage should be abolished. Why? Because in spite of the fact that they have proven time and time again that they don't care about workers, the poor or the middle class(more like the "lower" class these days) they swear... that dropping your wages to a buck an hour is good for the economy and good for you...

Also, Corporations are people. Money is speech, and women should get out of the work force, stop voting and get back in the kitchen.

These are just a few of the brainchildren of the 21st Century Republican party. Now here are some of my all time favorite Republican quotes: (some are old but never wear out the wow factor)

"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles." -Ronald Reagan

"I feel the best way to ensure Americans' freedom is to tighten restrictions on that freedom in any way possible. Only through wiretaps, illegal searches and seizures, unfettered government intrusion, a controlled media and a complete crackdown on free speech can we ensure the liberties of all people." -John Ashcroft (yes that man was at one time the most powerful attorney in America)

“By the end of my second term, we will have the first permanent base on the moon and it will be American,” -Newt Gingrich (see had we just elected Newt and we'd be only 2 years away from our beloved Moon Base.)

Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history." -Pat Robertson (see what I mean about that 95%? They have suffered more than even the slaves or the Jews in WWII)

"President Washington, President Lincoln, President Wilson, President Roosevelt have all authorized electronic surveillance on a far broader scale." -Alberto Gonzalez Discussing the merits of using electronic surveillance, 30 years before the first electric motor and 100 years before the first telephone... And this guy was also "The Most Powerful Attorney In America"!

Now a few on Climate Change, which by the way if you haven't been paying attention is now 60 years ahead of the worst case scenario. In other words we can actually see the devastating effects happening right in front of us with our own eyes. Unless of course, you are a Republican:

“All voodoo, nonsense, hokum, a hoax.” —Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (R-MN)

The idea that manmade gases, CO2, are causing catastrophic global warming is the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people.” —Senator James Inhofe (R-OK)

“It is not proven, it’s not science. It’s more of a religion than a science.” —Congressman Steve King (R-IA)

“The new fad thing that’s going through America and around the world. It’s called global warming.” —Congressman Steve Stockman (R-TX)

The ice caps are melting, which we see over and over again. Yeah, they’re melting on Mars, too!” — Congressman Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA)

And just for good measure a few quotes on or about Women

“I think the right approach is to accept this horribly created — in the sense of rape — but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way, the gift of human life, and accept what God has given to you… rape victims should make the best of a bad situation.” -Rick Santorum

“If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways of shutting that whole thing down” -Todd Akin

”Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society.” ~ Rush Limbaugh

”The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.” ~ Pat Robertson

And the best(or worst) for last. This was actually said by Maine Republican Rep Lawrence Lockman:

“If a woman has (the right to an abortion), why shouldn’t a man be free to use his superior strength to force himself on a woman?” Lockman said. “At least the rapist’s pursuit of sexual freedom doesn’t (in most cases) result in anyone’s death.”

Yes this genius thinks if Abortion is legal, rape should be too.


So there you have it. Apparently we are in danger of losing seats to this collection of Mensa Candidates.

Now I do know that we need to get voters out there to vote. But frankly if the Democratic party can't come up with a strategy to defeat this woman hating, homophobic, racist, greedy, narcissistic gaggle of neanderthal thought processes, then they are going to have to bear some of the blame.