We were 5 girls and 1 boy. There were no 'girls' chores or 'boys' chores. We all did everything and the allowance was the same.

I have two boys and now they have to do it all. We're doing all our kids a disservice if they feel they have only one path, whether it be chores or for work. Shameful.

B

although there was a certain inequality.

None of my sisters ever cut the grass

or edged the sidewalk.

One of the stories my family likes to tell is the one where I fling the edger across the front yard because I was so frustrated doing the stupid edging. Funny ha ha, unless you are the guy out there sweating in the sun.

Each of us kids had a week, in turn, to do the dishes.

Of course, "doing the dishes" at our house just meant scraping the plates and loading the dishwasher.

I must admit, I used the phrase "women's work" to try to get out of even that. But dad would not hear of any such nonsense, probably because he had no sisters and thus did that work as a kid.

Funny though, how there was "men's work" out there in the sun - and because my dad and my little brother had allergies, probably 80% of the grass cutting was done by me.

I also used to help put the camper up while my siblings ran off to swim. Part of that, though, was that I really didn't like swimming all that much.

Ironic that I am writing THIS, having just come home from my weekly swim.

I had 3 sons and 1 daughter and was a single, working mother. We had a list of chores and they rotated from one child to the next, determined by age and ability, not gender. Everyone got to wash dishes, do laundry, take out trash, make beds, care for younger siblings, cook, yard work etc. I always told them we were an equal opportunity household.

teach all their kids how to take care of themselves. (and others)

I have actually seen guys who can't do their own maintenance--it's pathetic.

I believe that paying kids an allowance "in exchange" for their chores is bad, lazy parenting. My kids received (and for the youngest, still receives) an allowance, but it's simply spending money and isn't connected to their housework. They understand, because I've made it incredibly clear, that you do chores and housework because it's part of your social responsibility to the family. You live here, so you contribute. Just as they will with society at large when they are all adults. If you don't get an allowance this week because I don't have the money, it in no way relieves you of your responsibility to do your chores. Likewise, if you don't do your chores, it doesn't mean that you won't get your allowance (though withholding an allowance can be a punishment for a variety of infractions...including not doing your chores).

It's a sad state of affairs when capitalism has so invaded our culture that parents see their children as employees who need to be paid to contribute to their own households.

"capitalism has so invaded our culture that parents see their children as employees who need to be paid to contribute to their own households..."

In my own parents' case, they were simply teaching me fundamental lessons regarding labor and budgeting my money.

However, I'm quite certain you believe your allegations based on anecdotal stories are more valid...

basically his parents took the approach that they were going to be buying school clothes and the like anyway so they used it as an opportunity to give him experience in budgeting himself. They would give him a budget and he would decide how to spend it. Chores were separate. With no college at all, he is now a millionaire living on 390 acres with a lake. I guess he can budget himself.

of that coin is that it teaches kids the reality of life, which is that someday they will grow up and have jobs they'll perform in order to support themselves.

My 10 year old grandson gets money and toys and all kinds of stuff from his parents without having to do a lick of work for it.

I would much rather see him having to perform "jobs" around the house in return for all the stuff he gets.

And...learning how to budget his money, as well.

Any other system is bad, lazy parenting.

If they start protesting with signs like "Down with Orrex the tyrant" would they get a bonus?

You don't do chores to get an allowance. You do chores because we are a family and we all chip in.

Everybody else can just labor away because it's the right thing to do.

And the circle of lazy parents continues.

As a child I had certain chores to perform by default, while others helped me earn an allowance. Somehow I survived this abusive upbringing and was able to recognize that some tasks earn a reward, while others must simply be done.

How in the world did I come to this profound realization despite the lazy badness of my parents? I must be amazingly gifted!

I didn't know you were being serious. My bad.

It's kind of a balance sheet - you get an allotment of the family income but an allotment of the family responsibility, too.

to each other. Everyone helped, everyone does everything. We are however a bit different in that we've never given allowances either.

We do however pay them to work with us doing the business/farm chores. They were welcome to go babysit or mow other peoples' grass or whatever. Or they could work for us and START earning $10/hour (that's what I start all my new hires at). Since the business/farm is my husband and I's "job", we never felt right making them do chores there too, on top of the household chores. So to the degree that household chores can be separated from farm chores, that's how we structured it.

By the time my oldest went to college, she had $4000 banked. My 17 year old has $3500 banked. They made much more money doing it this way, I got wonderful reliable "help" (and the chance to really work with my kids - priceless!), nobody complains about whose doing what household chore or whinges about "unfairness". All of us do everything - house and barn.

Both of them are excellent money managers now. They're outstandingly hard workers and if my husband and I both dropped dead tomorrow, they could run the place until they decided what they wanted to do with it.

Large livestock farms are weird places since the work is 24/7. If I were at the feed store and my husband was teaching, one of my girls would easily step in and handle the horses for the vet if any of the regular staff weren't around. THAT feels as though its worth something monetarily and so that's how we decided to "pay" them...not with allowance.

nothing will change.

And though many men sincerely believe in equality, there will never be enough of them, IMO. There are whole countries which continue to think women are property.

My husband is at home, I work.

B

A male friend and my brother both stay at home. I am shocked and disgusted by the reactions they get (from conservatives and liberals) when people find out they stay at home. This should be completely acceptable in today's world.

consumerism sucks

ones able to get away from work and pick up. and ya know...? the men were treated as a parent that we interacted with in the same manner. parents knowing parents as we allowed our kids into the others home. knowing the parent and what to expect, able to trust.

i never saw a father picked on simply cause he was a man.

this is in conservative texas. not buying it. not today. not with differing shifts and two working parent family. it just is not abnormal or even different.

That is the nice thing about the internet. You don't have to believe me and I don't have to care.

females NEVER got tips for getting the trees up on top of cars and tying them down.

Guys almost always got something.

The average body contains:
65% Oxygen
18% Carbon
10% Hydrogen
3% Nitrogen
1.5% Calcium
1% Phosphorous
0.35% Potassium
0.25% Sulfur
0.15% Sodium
0.15% Chlorine
0.05% Magnesium
0.0004% Iron
0.00004% Iodine

Given that males are 30 lbs heavier, on average, and 5.5 inches taller than women, that means that an average male is worth about $5.45 in raw chemicals, while a woman is only worth $4.50.

Growing up, my brother got the 'boy' chores and I got the 'girl' chores - except he did have to help in the kitchen by emptying the dishwasher before I started cleaning up.

So his chores were: dishwasher emptying, shoveling or mowing (depending on the season), and taking out the trash once a week.

Mine were: cleaning the kitchen every night after dinner, vacuuming, mopping the floors, cleaning the 2 bathrooms, dusting (those last 4 were roughly once a week)

So, while we did get the same amount of money every week, I put in a lot more hours of work than he did.

But that wasn't the part that was the worst - the worst was that my parents openly favored my brother. Yeah, I know siblings say that, but in this case even my brother and his friends would joke about it - everyone knew. It was obvious to those who knew us. For instance - I played volleyball for a few years, was even the captain of the team in my last year and my parents, in all that time, came to 1/2 of a game. That's right, 1/2. Not a whole game. 1/2. They left because it was 'boring'. Other girls on my team had parents who came to all the games, but not mine. Contrast that with my brother who played hockey - my parents didn't just go to every single game, my dad coached for a few years, and even when my dad wasn't coaching, both parents would take my brother to practice at 5 am and stay and watch his practices. I don't think either of them missed a single practice. In the summer, we planned our vacations around hockey camps. And yes, they watched all of those too...even the skating drills.

I wasn't allowed to play hockey because I was told there was no chance I could 'do anything with it' because I was a girl. Even though I was a bigger fan of hockey than my brother was, and used to watch hockey with my dad when I was little, and had the entire local NHL team memorized (stats and everything. I would've been 6 or so at the time) it didn't matter. As soon as my brother could skate, he was in hockey. Even though he begged to not go in it.

God, I could go on. There was more. A lot more. Needless to say...a lot of sexism starts in the home. And my mom considered herself a feminist. Seriously. I've since met a lot of girls with brothers and we all talk about it - the boys were favored in the VAST majority of families. Even unconsciously sometimes, but it happened. I'm not sure if things are so bad now (I'm approaching 40 years old) but I sure hope not. But it did suck when I was a kid, and my friends who have brothers concur.

My girls earned allowance, my son does not.

washing and ironing my brothers and my fathers shirts. I cooked and cleaned, all in preparation to be a "good wife". My brothers had friends and played, maybe mowed the lawn a couple of times a month for a decent allowance. I was never given an allowance because my pay would come to me when I snagged a good man. This was just the chores. It was much worse. Started as soon as I was big enough to be able to reach the ironing board while on a chair.

I am not kidding you. Disgusting but I had no choice so.....

Times have changed but really, not all that much.

And then you have idiots like this in congress that think girls should have to go to a special class in school to teach them how to be girls...
http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/06/19/2182311/gingrey-teach-gender-roles/