do you not understand?

His oldest had his absent mother's maiden name, and he petitioned to have it changed to his name. The idea was so that the little boy would have the same name as the custodial parent and his siblings, and wouldn't feel like an outsider in his own family. I don't think that's a bad thing at all, but if the child is old enough to offer an opinion then I think it ought to be taken into account.

What's really weird is that there are other posts on DU that are very, very personal to me which are related to this very subject.

And, it's highly likely that the father will bail on her in a year.

He's not in the picture and never has been. Honestly, it should be the name of the parent actually involved in the day-by-day raising and maintenance of the child and not "just because". If the child is raised by the father, it should be the father's name. If raised by the mother, the mother's name should be used. If raised by both then a discussion is needed by both parents.

Good luck to you and your child.

She's a teen now and it's all she knows. She's been given a choice to change it to his name but she has always chosen not to do so.

If she does choose to change it someday I'll be sad but it's her life. I wanted a sense of normalcy. I wanted our little unit to be viewed as a family. Having the same last name has done just that and no one even questions it.

Because presumably she knows best whether the Father is going through a bad time, or whether he is really a douche they are better off without.

Bryant

I have two half-brothers older than me. Their father skipped out on them soon after my mom and him divorced. When my oldest brother turned 18 he changed his last name to what mine is (and my mom's married name) since it was my father that raised him.

On another note, I have a friend gettig divorced with a 9 year old and she thought a long time about if she's going to change her last name. A lot of the pro on keeping it was that her and her so. Would have the same last name. Ultimately she decided not to keep her married name.

Greatly appreciated!