Satire on Cantor's Loss From The New Yorker.
Last edited Wed Jun 11, 2014, 11:30 AM - Edit history (2)
From Andy Borowitz:
Apparently deciding that Cantor was insufficiently heartless to represent their district, Republicans turned out to the polls to elect David Brat, a man whose political views “border on sociopathy,” according to exit-poll responses from voters who supported him.
During his concession speech, Rep. Cantor reflected on the mistakes that might have led to his defeat: “Should I have cut more school-lunch programs for poor children? Perhaps. Should I have cast more votes to screw over disaster victims? Definitely. Should I have not said the thing about treating children of immigrants like human beings? Man, do I wish I could take that one back. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, but at the end of the day I was just too damn empathic for this district.”
When asked about the defeat of his longtime colleague in the House, Speaker John Boehner said, “I will give a formal statement as soon as I can stop laughing.”
= new reply since forum marked as read
"During his concession speech, Rep. Cantor reflected on the mistakes that might have led to his defeat: “Should I have cut more school-lunch programs for poor children? Perhaps. Should I have cast more votes to screw over disaster victims? Definitely. Should I have not said the thing about treating children of immigrants like human beings? Man, do I wish I could take that one back. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, but at the end of the day I was just too damn empathic for this district.”
"When asked about the defeat of his longtime colleague in the House, Speaker John Boehner said, “I will give a formal statement as soon as I can stop laughing."
I forgot about boner.. I guess he's happy too? 
Had insomnia last night and follow The New Yorker on Twitter, saw this and couldn't stop laughing. I had my laptop in bed, trying not to wake my husband as he had to catch an early flight this morning.
