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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMorning After Tea Party Win, House G.O.P. Proposes End to Social Security and more….listed by Andy B
Morning After Tea Party Win, House G.O.P. Proposes End to Social Security, Return to Child Labor, Gun Rights for Pets
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)The morning after Tuesdays stunning Tea Party victory in Virginia, House Republicans unveiled a sweeping new legislative agenda, proposing an end to Social Security, a return to child labor, and unprecedented gun rights for pets.
The Republican Party is the party of common sense, said House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio). And such common-sense proposals as electronic ankle bracelets for immigrant babies and a barbed-wire fence with Canada are long overdue.
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin) echoed Speaker Boehners sentiments as he touted his signature legislation, to put Americans under the age of twelve back to work.
Instead of spending all day playing with Xboxes, our kids should be in factories assembling them, he said.
As for what is perhaps the most controversial G.O.P. proposal, guaranteeing gun rights for pets, Boehner said, Its clear that the authors of the Second Amendment meant it to apply to all mammals. All our new law says is, if you have four legs and a tail, you get a gun.
When asked about future relations between House Republicans and President Obama, Boehner did not mince words. If the President thinks hes going to get the kind of cooperation and flexibility hes gotten out of us for the past six years, hes kidding himself, he said. The honeymoon is over.
The Republican Party is the party of common sense, said House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio). And such common-sense proposals as electronic ankle bracelets for immigrant babies and a barbed-wire fence with Canada are long overdue.
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin) echoed Speaker Boehners sentiments as he touted his signature legislation, to put Americans under the age of twelve back to work.
Instead of spending all day playing with Xboxes, our kids should be in factories assembling them, he said.
As for what is perhaps the most controversial G.O.P. proposal, guaranteeing gun rights for pets, Boehner said, Its clear that the authors of the Second Amendment meant it to apply to all mammals. All our new law says is, if you have four legs and a tail, you get a gun.
When asked about future relations between House Republicans and President Obama, Boehner did not mince words. If the President thinks hes going to get the kind of cooperation and flexibility hes gotten out of us for the past six years, hes kidding himself, he said. The honeymoon is over.
www.borowitzreport.com
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Morning After Tea Party Win, House G.O.P. Proposes End to Social Security and more….listed by Andy B (Original Post)
Mira
Jun 2014
OP
eppur_se_muova
(36,262 posts)1. I think that last para may be an actual quote, not a parody ... nt
stage left
(2,962 posts)2. I almost had a heart attack reading this
Until I got to "unprecedented gun rights for pets." I literally wouldn't put much of anything past the Republican Party "leadership."
PCIntern
(25,544 posts)3. Am I the only person in America
who doesn't find Borowitz funny? It is just all so predictable...sorry if I offend you.
Mira
(22,380 posts)4. Not to worry.
I suspect your intellect surpasses his.