I catch poorly written titles, not usually write them.

as well, just not grammatically correct.

Don't sweat it, it made me laugh.

I did graveyard for a few years just after I got married (no kids though). I also kind of did it when I was a teen, delivering papers in the early hours.

I still have dreams 30+ years later about it.

Some people can do it, most of us have a hard time. Graveyard shit indeed.

Without kids.

I relish my sleep now in the dark without having blackout curtains.

nt

When my marriage suddenly ended, I suddenly found myself needing childcare for my youngest child when I went back to school full time. My older kids were in school. My youngest wasn't a baby, so I didn't pay the highest rates. I was low-income so I received full subsidy where I live. I had Fridays off. I still paid more than $400/month for childcare. Without subsidy it would have been between $800-$900. For one kid, 4 days a week. I don't even KNOW how people with more kids in childcare make this work. I live in an area where salaries are pretty high, but still. And, in the 3 years my daughter was in childcare, the rates went up every single year by $20/month (and the subsidy did not). So by the end of her time in childcare I was paying $60 more a month than when I started - yet my income was the same.

Boy was I ever glad when she started school.

I'm a HUGE advocate for universal, free, government run childcare.

People can not afford to pay more, caregivers can not afford to be paid less. It need to be subsidized, like schools are. I know, public achools, taxes, etc, but daycare needs to be low cost and universal.

I have several friends that are daycare workers. One of those friends cannot afford to live on her own, and lives with her retired mother who gives her free childcare for her own children. She has 2 years post-secondary and is certified and still can't make a living wage. The caregiver who watched my daughter (And is now a friend) had a registered dayhome and the only reason she did it is because she had small kids at home herself and was a single parent like me and didn't want to put her kids in childcare. She had a secondary income (child support) from the children's father so she could afford to live while doing childcare. It's ridiculous you cannot make a living doing it. Everyone I know who is a childcare worker has a spouse that is the main income earner, or lives at home still, or has another means of income.

The family that lived in the canyon still trucked their four kiddos up to the main house, where there was electricity and a hot water heater, to bathe them every night. It was a long walk, but it was also easier than trying to make four baths from boiling kettles on the woodstove. Even up there, we didn't have an indoor toilet, and the water was from a well that had too unique of a pumping system for me to go into here, but suffice it to say leather from one of my chewed up Birkenstocks was part of it -- though we made our own indoor plumbing from free recycled PVC pipe.

Yes, help from social services carries strings -- someone's going to be looking in after you. But those are not unreasonable strings, in my opinion.

They're biggest fear is losing half in the divorce.

Damn Libs came up with that.

Right?

I think it is difficult for people who have never lived life scraping by, let alone as a single parent, to understand the hurtles & myriad of difficult choices that we have to make. But telling our stories helps to inform, and on a political message board this should instruct as to why we need progressive policies.

live like they do, and they manage just fine.

I lived in countries where electricity was routinely OFF, where if you wanted hot water, you had to haul, on your back, a container of propane to hook it to the gas heater (same deal if you wanted to cook on the stove); and where heat came from a large boxy stove that dripped oil by the drop onto a pan where it burned--a step up from a woodstove, but not central heat.

You realized how you could manage without these things--if the hot water gas ran out, there wasn't any more unless you walked a half a mile with the empty bottle, and came back with the full one. It got one to appreciate conservation--or a ride from a passing neighbor.

Also, some people are private. They don't necessarily want their bosses, overlords, or landlords "up in their business." There's the life you have to lead to survive, and the life you have in your home, with your family. You shouldn't feel forced to mix those things.

I have lived without electricity or running water for several years, by choice. It was quite interesting to experience this as it was very uncommon in my society where I grew up. I did not feel deprived by this, nor by not having a tv. I hauled water, boiled it before drinking, heated before bathing, used kerosene lamps and candles for light. It was like luxurious camping.

It sounds like you were in a rural situation with a well or creek within walking distance. Or if you were in a city, I'd be very curious to know how you managed this strategy.

However the vast majority of Americans now live in cities, which means stacked in apartments far from natural resources like open water. Those whose water and electricity have been shut off soon find themselves in really dire straits. Among other things, a significant percentage of winter fires in cities are started by candles; or if they still have electricity but no gas, small space heaters or open oven doors (used for heating) catch fire.

That said, affordable reliable safe childcare is the single biggest problem for mothers in this country. On-site subsidized childcare is possible -- it can be done, because it HAS been done. During WW II when women in large numbers were working in factories it was considered essential to the war effort. When the war ended the women were fired (sorry, sent home) and the returning GIs re-hired, and the childcare centers were closed as if they had never existed. I never even knew about it until I was in my 30s and women started writing social history from women's point of view.

We call ourselves a civilized nation, but some days I have serious doubts.

You are a very strong woman. You are correct, too many people are stuck between a rock and a hard place .... and too many people that have encountered only pebbles and rough sheets are eager to opine how they would "never"

Gone are the "I will keep your kids for $50 a week" arrangements. That is for the most part illegal now. Unless you are a relative you cant legally keep children in your home without a plethora of health department requirements being met and inspections and costly licensing.

I get it. They want to make sure the kids are kept in a clean and safe environment.

To tell you the truth, I am not sure I could make it as a single mother in today's world.