Sheesh. when they fail at their basic missions women lose confidence in getting higher ed.

No price to pay, rape at will.

Are we pissed yet?

but there is a contingent of men that think all women are designed for is to carry their precious, precious sperm, go through 9 months of pregnancy, turn their backs on the woman, and then smile when they meet a child.

Gross, everyone at that school should be let go. Something like this happened at my high school and the outcome was disturbingly similar.

Where are the consequences for these people? You think they are "done" they won't do it again... Let me just remind you, they will.

WTF is wrong with so many of our young men? What is it going to take to get this shit to stop? Well, my mind's gone Medieval, but I can't help it. I'm so sick of this shit. Clearly the rape prevention directed at women is not working because #notallmen know not to rape and schools could give a flying fuck. I don't know what it will take for everyone to get the message that rape is wrong. Minimum sentences of life would be nice, but you've got to get cops and colleges to take rape seriously. Colleges that turn blind eyes for the sake of their sports teams should lose federal funding and face NCAA sanctions. Maybe there should be a college guide for the schools that are unsafe for women. And then there are the rapists in high schools and middle schools and even younger. We are failing in this at every level.

Last edited Sun Jul 13, 2014, 11:04 AM - Edit history (1)

the fave rape porn that looks so realistic it might even be real, for our boys to climax to.

and then, as intelligent, thinking adults we ask, why are our boys behaving like this.

in every way we create the girl for male use, in sexuality, a thing. thru out society. and we are confused why we are seeing this and why over the years it escalates? as judges let forty year old men off rape cause the unconscious 16 yr old, or 13 yr old were really.... sexually mature and the 40 something yr old could not help himself.

i am not referring to you history, i know you know.

I know. And it's both infuriating and frightening.

i had meant to add, that i know you know. i so so many typos, i had to clean it up a bit, in the editing. of course. the first thing i see from you

i know...

i know, right?

I figured you were just spelling it out for those who don't know/understand.

It's good to see you back, by the way.

I always despised school football player jocks. Seems that too many of them offer up very good reasons to be despised. Wondering when people are going to make a correlation between this kind of rape and football players/jocks. Not saying we should get rid of football players but certainly they should be under much more scrutiny than they are now ...and not just them but the educational systems that support them over the obvious victims. I was a hippy so I naturally despise jocks anyway ...and this isn't the first time football players have been caught or seen doing this ...as we all know.

She drank one beer at the dance, she said, and then the rest of an opened beer her dance partner had given her.

I've been drunk - really drunk and never not remembered where I had been and what happened. I'm guessing that opened beer her dance partner gave her had more than beer in it.

people need to get fired and jailed.
including the police and the college admin.
parents need to rethink sending
their kids to certain schools.
but this also happens in high school,
remember the girl that was raped and
because it was the football team
no one did anything about it.

Severe consequences of that nature might help send a message that this is not remotely acceptable.

For God's sake, go the police ASAP after the rape or assault. Not the effing campus police! Don't wash your hands, don't go to the bathroom, don't change clothes, don't do anything until the police come. Remember, you are covered with evidence! A detective will take you to the hospital. You will be treated with respect and care.
Your name, no matter what age, will not be released to the public unless you authorize it.

where they can think clearly. And you couldn't be more wrong. Many, many times women who have been raped are NOT treated with respect by police. There was just a piece about that posted recently

... And I speak from personal experience. So, what is your advice?

sorry, but that just isn't logical. You can't extrapolate from your experience. I didn't say your advice wasn't basically sound. I said that for many women their state of mind isn't one that facilitates rational thinking.

... about not being able to think straight when one is in shock. But if you learn this important info before, then you DO know what to do, even in shock. And if a cop treats you with disrespect while you're in shock after having been raped, then chalk it up and sue the GD town/city later. Tell the ER nurse of the disrespect from the cop. I guarantee you that she will not let him anywhere near you after that.

Did I miss a sarcasm tag?

Your post skirts the line of victim-blaming.

For one, it's nearly impossible to think clearly after an assault, especially if you're drunk or have been drugged. Of the many things going through your mind: scrub it off in the shower, curl up and die...calling the cops is often not top of the list. And, if you do call the cops, there is no guarantee at all that you will be treated with anything close to respect. There's a chance, but everyone knows stories of cops who say things like, why'd you go to his room, didn't you realize what was going on...and then there's the oh-so-lovely process of evidence gathering in the middle of the night, in a freezing-cold room with strange hands touching you where you never want to be touched again.

Please re-think your post. Maybe you mean well, but...you're not in the real world.

Oh bless your heart.
You are so .... concerned and considerate.
Speaking from experience myself, yes she is in the real world.
And no, she is not 'skirting the line of victim-blaming'.

Yes, the first thing you want to do is wash, curl up and die. And yes, too often what you write happens. But what is the alternative?

For me, it was wash, curl up and die, tell no one for years but make sure to volunteer at sexual abuse clinics to help all those others, and advise them to be stronger than their rapists were and try to get evidence and them convicted.

This includes calling the cops, going through the evidence collection bullshit, fearing the judgments of others on you.

Not victim blaming, but working with them to get some of our dignity back, some control back, to stop the damn assholes from continuing to rape.

I'm talking about being strong and defending yourself, even if you're out of your mind hurt! You have to do it. You have to think of yourself and get the rape documented ASAP! If you are afraid to call the police, call a friend or a family member and have them take you to the hospital.

I guess I live in heaven or something, because when this happened to me, the police did get me to the hosp ASAP. Only during the investigation that followed did the detective question me. And I stood my ground. I was the victim. I was innocent. I was not lying and I "stood my ground." They wanted me to plea-bargain, and I said hell no! There was a grand jury and it was going to go to trial, in spite of the fact that the detective said the defense team would rip me apart (verbally) on the stand. I said so be it, because I knew the defense would not find one piece of evidence that made me the bad guy. No record. No traffic tickets, moving or parking. The day before the trial date was to be set, the rapist admitted to everything. He went to jail for 9 (nine) years, no chance of parole.

Now where in the eff do you find victim shaming in that? Believe me, I am in the real world, and women need to know what to do if they find themselves in that horrid situation.

jumped on you. I want you to know I appreciate that you're advice is to keep the evidence and go after the rapist or rapists because I read both your advice and the post where you informed us you experienced it yourself. Your first post didn't make it clear that you were raped in the past. It sounds like you got angry right away which helped you to take the entire thing to court and follow through to the end. Many women go straight for the shame and never get angry and that's because they're basically expected and taught to blame themselves while men are assumed to be unable to control themselves. The subliminal message is that men are the victims of these women.

In my case I was a child. I was six years old and the first time I ever used the word pedophile was just within the last year. I'm 66. I felt shame most of my life. I wish I could have been angry and fighting mad. It would have saved me from wasting so many decades of my time blaming myself, or just thinking that somehow I brought it on.

Anyway I appreciate where you're coming from.

... I appreciate your support. The obscenity of calling me a victim-blamer! All I was trying to do was to inform women that they have to be strong, even at their weakest moment.

This subject is a true hot button topic. There's a real fight women are waging now about women being blamed for getting raped and how that has to change. That's why I said you could have included both comments in one post. Your name doesn't show whether you're a man or a woman so many people think you might be a man and unfortunately many people won't read the entire thread. It's complicated as you probably already know. There are plenty of men, and women, even here who still blame the victim, though I think a lot of it is unconscious. In these DU fights it can get quite visceral at times. And in all fairness we have some wonderful DU men who have a great deal of respect for women and they say so all the time.

Believe me the people who attacked you would have still had the fight, but they would have been less aggressive about it. Try not to take it personally although that's very hard to do in threads like this.

I wish I had had you around when I was six. You would have taken that shame and guilt and ripped it off of me. Don't stop speaking up.

I thought everyone knew that. The only reason I did not say everything at once is because even though I put my rapist behind bars for 9 years, I'm a bit nervous about discussing it in depth. And now, after being falsely attacked, I sort of feel abused all over again. Us women need to stick together. We are all each other's best advocates. I'm so sorry that I was not able to express myself better.

which is why I responded to give you my support. It's very disheartening when people jump to conclusions which is why I pretty much make it clear that I was raped whenever these threads come up. Sometimes they get so visceral that I don't post anything.

is every woman processes their experience different than others.

men we justifying, excusing, validating, their enjoyment of rape porn. another man started an Op claiming rape in his time was not considered rape. another man started yet another op saying women had rape fantasies, so we can not always believe the no.

it was a hurtful, painful, hard week with a lot of anger and swift posting leaving women not hearing their sisters that were in pain too.

what i learned is to be very gentle in this discussion with my fellow women. be ready to listen for clarification, be ready to forgive, be ready for understanding and compassion.

the upside? maybe at first posts to you felt like an attack, but you were listened to as you further clarified and validated.

that is a good thing.

i think, that is something we strive for, even in misunderstanding.

... of the rape/rape porn discussion you mention. I was not online in any capacity from April thru June. And I think I'm glad I wasn't present. Even though I was able to rise above everything back at that time in my life, to dwell on it very long now throws me into depression.

Last edited Sun Jul 13, 2014, 09:20 PM - Edit history (1)

lot of men that could see and stood with us. but it was very hard, for so many. men too, that have been raped.

it was back in nov, over the holidays, maybe christmas i am thinking. really ugly. and was a game for a few. i do not get that thinking.

The point is, we all need to educate other women on what to do if they are assaulted and raped. Having the knowledge of what happens and how you feel will help you even when you are in shock. Unfortunately, we have to somewhat traumatize ourselves pre-emptively through practice scenarios so that we will react to get the best outcome if raped.

I hate to say this, but I think young women need to look at most party boys as potential rapists and keep their guard up. When there is an epidemic occurring, one has to be extra careful. It's not fair; it is just a current reality. That doesn't excuse the criminal behavior, but we need to do a better job protecting ourselves and each other.

message but it needs to be. No one here thinks that it will be easy for the victim. I would hope that anyone in this situation would have a friend to go to. Hopefully the friend will see the urgency for the actions suggested. There are multiple ways to fight this, but one certainly is that the victim needs friendly help.

That's how it's supposed to go, the way that shows like Law and Order: SVU make us want to think it goes, but that's not how it always goes down.

Even when you have tons of physical evidence that intercourse occurred, you still have to prove it was rape. It's far too easy for a guy to argue that you were consenting, even when you were passed out cold to the point that shaking you wouldn't wake you up. Yes, I know this from experience.

My advantage was that I was not inebriated in any way. All I am saying is if the victim doesn't get the rape documented immediately, all evidence will be lost and you won't have a leg to stand on, legally. The SOB will run free to rape another day. Fuck that! Be strong, do the right thing, and you will be able to hold the SOBs feet to the fire. Oh yeah, and I didn't know the rapist. It was a violent rape, with a sharp hunting knife held to my throat. I seen my life flash before my eyes. All I could think of was my children.

Every rape is different. But if the victim can just keep it in his/her mind to get to a hospital, hell or high water, ASAP, then there is a 100% chance the rapist can be prosecuted and held responsible.

First, ALL rapes are violent. Rape itself is a violent crime by its very definition. It doesn't matter if they didn't have a weapon, if they didn't beat you, if they didn't threaten your life... Every rape is a violent assault.

Second, what happened to you is what Republicans would term "legitimate rape". You didn't know your attacker, he used a weapon, you've never had a traffic ticket let alone being suspected of drinking too much.... That is the rarest type of rape, and the one judges who slap other rapists on the wrist will say is really a rapist instead of a person who "made a mistake". Those cases will get a full-court press usually, but other rapes often get swept under the rug.

I love how you say there's a 100% chance they CAN be prosecuted, not that they WILL be prosecuted.

One thing I feel very strongly about is that it's not the victim's job to stop the rapist from raping again. Sure, if you are string enough to hold up under the strain, and feel that it'd help your recovery to report and to prosecute, it's optimal to do so. But when I reported nothing happened to my rapist. He was arrested six months later for domestic assault -- and it's not my fault that girl got beat up, nor would it have been even if I had not reported the rape. The only thing reporting did was maybe make it so that if he *does* rape again, the police know it wasn't the first accusation. They wouldn't be able to use it in court, but hopefully should it ever happen they will see the previous investigation and take that victim more seriously than they took me.

But whether I reported it or not, *I* am not responsible for *his* behavior. HE is the one who is the rapist.

...respectfully, Moriah. I am sorry that you wasn't taken seriously and was obviously treated very disrespectfully after the rape.

probably not small colleges though.

Even in the case of violent crimes, such as rape? I find that difficult to believe.

with their own jurisdictions. I called 911 to report a drunk driver while on I-35 and I got the U of M police force.

Uni police have jurisdiction on campus and for several miles around, but the local cops do as well. Both are under pressure to keep their numbers down, and may try to shift you to the other.

There's also the question of who the ER calls when a student needs a rape exam.

Schools need to be involved because on campus rape has specific safety issues they need to address (like changing classes or dorm assignments, arranging for counseling, or ejecting the rapist) and both systems need to work better.

they have the same authority has the locals ...

biting the hand that feed them, so they are easily manipulated.
I'll take my chances with non-campus police over campus police
any day of the week.

Welcome to the Suspected Abuse Response Team (SART) within the San Luis Obispo County Public Health Department.

Contact Us

Suspected Abuse Response Team (SART)
San Luis Obispo, CA 93401
Phone: 805-781-4878 or after hours 805-781-4550

SART functions under the San Luis Obispo County Public Health Department, to provide forensic services for residents of San Luis Obispo County, State agencies, and other Counties upon request. The program brings together specifically trained forensic doctors and nurses with Law Enforcement agencies, Child Welfare Services and advocates in a multidisciplinary team approach to provide compassionate compassionate, comprehensive and culturally-sensitive treatment for sexual assault survivors.

SART exams are done at the request of Law Enforcement or Child Welfare Services. The exam itself becomes part of the criminal investigation. SART exams are also available without law enforcement involvement. Call the office directly during office hours or call the rape-crisis hotline at (805) 545-8888 and they will explain the options available. If a SART exam is done, it is still reportable to Law Enforcement but the client doesn't have to speak to Law Enforcement immediately, and may do so when ready.

Our Services

Ensure that victims of assault (not necessarily sexual) receive compassionate care and professional treatment that will support their emotional, mental and physical health to the fullest extent possible.

•Provide a comprehensive exam, including photo documentation and physical evidence collection according to California State Guidelines.

•Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) testing is included in the examination.

•Emergency contraception and prophlactic antiobiotics for GCand chlamydia are discussed.

•Referrals are provided for follow-up medical care and counseling.

•SART medical staff is trained to provide expert testimony in court when requested.

Colleges are about as good at investigating rape allegations as police departments are at teaching liberal arts.

In the media and pretty much here on DU too.

If you haven't read it yet, its pretty sickening. Here's a link to the DU thread... very heartbreaking. I tried kicking it twice but it didn't last long.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1014842601

The original article is in Salon..

Claire McCaskill released her report on college sexual assault, and the findings are grim

The national survey found more than 40 percent of schools hadn't conducted a single rape investigation in 5 years

person think that participating in a gang bang is appropriate in any context?

I always want to ask who is raising these little monsters, but the answer is, all of us. We have a culture of violence against women & it's getting worse. I posted this in the HOF forum. It is a huge part of the problem - the pornification of our culture, rape as entertainment. It's so pervasive that even a lot of women don't get it.

reposting. i will read here in a moment.

had a lot of friends who are girls, just the kind of kid he is. He's just finished his Plebe year at the Naval Academy and we talked about the sexual assault issue in the military before he took his oath. I told him that he was in a unique position; that he may be told things by girls, because they obviously trust him as a friend. I also told him that if any one came to him and told him of any sexual assault, that he had to be man enough to stand up and report, no matter what happened to his naval career. He was responsible to do the right thing. He knows he's a smart kid and will be successful, even if the PTB decide he's some kind of "troublemaker".

He just says, "I know mom, I know mom" and I do know that he knows. Kids need to be reminded to trust their gut to do what's right, not what's easy or expedient.

should be allowed to 1) educate on rape and 2) adjudicate any rape claims made by students. For the same reasoning campus police shouldn't be paid by the schools.

My reasoning behind my thoughts:

Rape education should be handled by a non-biased party and ALL students should have to attend. Once this has been done, I believe a contract of sorts should be signed by all students acknowledging they took the course and understand what is and isn't rape. I then think if a rape does occur, that a panel of non-school related officials should be convened to adjudicate the matter if that's what the student wishes (instead of going to the police) and I think that a lawyer/judge should have to be on the panel so the law is followed.

I see these panels as a way to skirt justice for many and it's worked out that way too often. Then we have these predators walking about having gotten the message that their behavior was a-okay.

Finally, as far as campus police goes, the LEO's should not be employed my the school but be an off-shoot of the local police force. It doesn't mean that things will be well-investigated but at least the idea of having the hand that feeds you being bitten is taken away.

Some universities are adopting zero tolerance policies regarding rape. Most because they're being sued by victims of rape who have been brushed aside by said universities, But we're getting there, albeit very slowly and painfully. It entails going after the rape culture which takes time.

For example at Iowa a student was expelled even though insufficient evidence was found to prosecute him for a crime. The panel should work in parallel with the criminal case. The school must determine first whether the student presents an ongoing danger to the other students as the criminal case is still proceeding. If so the student needs to be removed from the campus environment. Second does the action rate school discipline which obviously cannot exceed expulsion. I think the default should be that these cases get turned over immediately to the detectives of the surrounding LEO organization. There you begin to have issues though. Confidentiality means that school officials cannot report the crime unless the victim permits it. Perhaps that should change???

is that some organizations shouldn't police themselves. When a schools reputation and student enrollment depends partly on safety, then you have to wonder if panels with faculty on them are the best for the victim or are they looking out for the school's best interest? This was an issue with the Jerry Sandusky case, if I recall correctly.

all colleges and universities that receive federal funds for example be obligated to pay into a fund in which former judges sit in judgement on serious school infractions that can lead to long term suspensions and expulsions. These good be regional bodies that travel from school to school for example (don't know the numbers involved). They could also have former police or federal law enforcement on staff that can serve as investigators.

Not referring an accusation to this body can be grounds for a federal funds "death penalty"?

Shocking but not unusual. A female student came to me a number of years ago and told me she had been assaulted. I had to report it. When they found out who the perp was (an adjunct faculty member) it did not go beyond the campus investigation. The adjunct was later fired, but nothing about the sexual assault was mentioned in his release, it was done due to "budgetary issues".

The student felt we all let her down and I have to agree. This case above involves an athlete, a FOOTBALL player, no way they are going to jail.

I'm not saying it's always football players who do this but ...wow ...can't help but notice. Maybe football players should be watched a little closer? I always despised school football players anyway since I was more the hippy type. The jocks were always assholes as was their cheerleaders. They obviously think they can get away with raping women. I hope it catches up with them eventually and they spend a lot of time in prison.

at a Steubenville High School, my neck of the woods, a few years ago. It was national news for a few months. We're talking taped and forwarded and the whole nine.