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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsSarah Palin: "God doesn't drive parked cars"
http://www.juanitajean.com/2014/07/21/holy-crap-from-now-on-god-only-speaks-to-sarah-edition/Can anybody figure out what La Palin is talking about?
21 votes, 2 passes | Time left: Unlimited | |
God's car | |
0 (0%) |
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A car's god | |
0 (0%) |
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Parking trees | |
2 (10%) |
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I don't know | |
5 (24%) |
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Pie | |
14 (67%) |
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2 DU members did not wish to select any of the options provided. | |
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hobbit709
(41,694 posts)Wait Wut
(8,492 posts)...does Palin know what Palin is talking about?
SummerSnow
(12,608 posts)CBGLuthier
(12,723 posts)But Emo Phillips always said he and god had a lot in common because they both drove galaxies.
randys1
(16,286 posts)awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)but it usually involved a lot of alcohol
tblue37
(65,487 posts)Feel free to ask me anything. (I will get back to you when I get a free moment.)
SidDithers
(44,228 posts)and, since you're all-seeing and all-knowing, could you please tell us what the fuck Sarah Palin is trying to say?
Sid
tblue37
(65,487 posts)"Argle-bargle." It is what she always means to say.
But I must admit that it has taken me a lot of time and effort to translate her blatherings.
treestar
(82,383 posts)But I bet Sarah Palin thinks Liberals do!
tblue37
(65,487 posts)Well then, hi there, God!
I sit in parked cars and make engine noises.
TlalocW
(15,391 posts)She's encouraging conservatives to mobilize, get off their asses, etc. Praying for something is well and good, but if you don't let God work through you to put some effort into things, then you're a parked car.
On the other hand, He's God! He can drive a parked car if He wants!
TlalocW
jakeXT
(10,575 posts)John, who was in financial difficulty, walked into a church and started to pray. ''Listen God,'' John said. ''I know I haven't been perfect but I really need to win the lottery. I don't have a lot of money. Please help me out.'' He left the church, a week went by, and he hadn't won the lottery, so he walked into a synagogue. ''Come on, God,'' he said. ''I really need this money. My mom needs surgery and I have bills to pay. Please let me win the lottery.'' He left the synagogue, a week went by, and he didn't win the lottery. So, he went to a mosque and started to pray again. ''You're starting to disappoint me, God,'' he said. ''I've prayed and prayed. If you just let me win the lottery, I'll be a better person. I don't have to win the jackpot, just enough to get me out of debt. I'll give some to charity, even. Just let me win the lottery.'' John thought this did it, so he got up and walked outside.
The clouds opened up and a booming voice said, ''John, buy a fucking lottery ticket.''
lovemydog
(11,833 posts)She parked her car when she quit being governor. Now she's revving it up again. It's a less crowded road now. So impeach Obama! Or something like that.
eShirl
(18,503 posts)sarisataka
(18,770 posts)Oh I thought you meant pi
Nope, no clue how you get from impeaching Obama to God parking cars
is pretty much the only thing I got out of it.
In all honesty, though, the day she starts making sense to me is the day I'm checking into a mental institution.
frogmarch
(12,158 posts)angry attack muffin verbiage to me.
herding cats
(19,567 posts)It looks like he's up to his same tricks in telling Sarah to go forth and spread his...whatever that is she's spreading. I think it's that God wants to impeach Obama and he's obstructed by a parked Boehner, maybe?
immoderate
(20,885 posts)Silly.
--imm
Capt. Obvious
(9,002 posts)God is a stranger on the bus trying to make his way home.
yuiyoshida
(41,861 posts)The Wizard
(12,547 posts)somewhere between Remulak and Esperanto.
KentuckyWoman
(6,692 posts)It's official, she knows she's a joke and is trying to be someone else to hang on the 15 minutes.
Unfortunately she aimed pretty low..... Joyce Meyers can put words together a little better but believe it or not she's even crazier than Palin.
NightWatcher
(39,343 posts)unionthug777
(740 posts)pie !!!! especially french silk pie !!!!
pie
LiberalElite
(14,691 posts)a page titled "Sayings of the Flat Out Nuts" but I found that she's said this before - this in an American Prospect 2009 review of her book Going Rogue:
http://prospect.org/article/palin-president
-snip-
On the last page of her story, she writes about what's next for her -- "God doesn't drive parked cars," she says. The last line is a reference to the campaign flap that ensued when McCain pulled out of Michigan, and Palin lamented the decision on air. "I'm thinking when I get back I'll bake the kids a cake," she writes. "And I'll pull out a road map -- I want to show Piper the way to Michigan."
-snip-
It still doesn't make sense.
DeadLetterOffice
(1,352 posts)and got the following answer:
For those if you who like attribution, I am posting a link to the only source I could find, but please don't beat me up, I am FULLY aware that the web site in question is run by a RW whackadoo.
http://constitutionallyspeaking.wordpress.com/2009/12/04/god-doesnt-drive-parked-cars/
LiberalElite
(14,691 posts)Thank God she's not V.P.
tblue37
(65,487 posts)LiberalElite
(14,691 posts)n2doc
(47,953 posts)Blue Owl
(50,498 posts)<>
aint_no_life_nowhere
(21,925 posts)like that commercial constantly on television for the dating service Christian Mingle: Sometimes we wait for God to make the next move, when God is saying, Its your time to act,? .
jberryhill
(62,444 posts)Although I never see any of those "God is my co-pilot" people take their hands off the wheel and say, "God, how about you just keep it between the lines for a few miles?"
Motown_Johnny
(22,308 posts)How is that unclear?
FSogol
(45,526 posts)tblue37
(65,487 posts)petronius
(26,603 posts)me of this old joke:
A man was circling the block searching for a parking spot. Finally, after the third time around, he prays, God, if you help me find a parking spot, I will go to church every Sunday and tithe ten percent of my income. Immediately, a spot opens up, and the man prays, Never mind, I found one.
VanillaRhapsody
(21,115 posts)I don't often drive parked cars....but when I do.....
I always inform Sarah Palin!
tblue37
(65,487 posts)VanillaRhapsody
(21,115 posts)of the Worlds Most Interesting man commercials...
tblue37
(65,487 posts)liberal N proud
(60,344 posts)SidDithers
(44,228 posts)Sid
jberryhill
(62,444 posts)krispos42
(49,445 posts)By definition, if they're driving, they're not parked!
DeadLetterOffice
(1,352 posts)krispos42
(49,445 posts)And why do we have a pair of panties, but only one bra???
Jamastiene
(38,187 posts)That is pure genius. Ok, I just woke up, but I do think that is an excellent question.
krispos42
(49,445 posts)It's an old Gallagher bit... you know, the guy that smashes fruit.
krispos42
(49,445 posts)Otherwise my kid has been in control of a battleship, an aircraft carrier, a submarine, and a score of aircraft from a single-seat stunt plane to a 707.
RKP5637
(67,112 posts)nomorenomore08
(13,324 posts)krispos42
(49,445 posts)shenmue
(38,506 posts)[URL=.html][IMG][/IMG][/URL]
Jamastiene
(38,187 posts)She made no sense to begin with, but now? Now, she is probably baffling even the speaking-in-tongues types.
Jamastiene
(38,187 posts)Soon, she'll be speaking in tongues. Then she will be even harder to understand, if that is possible. I've seen people go through this down here in the Bible Belt. They start out seemingly normal, then they end up getting that glazed-over, scary look in their eyes. Eventually, they make less and less sense as they become more immersed into their weird ass belief system. They keep right on going until you start to TRULY be afraid of them.
I avoid those types like the plague. Well, not really the plague, because the plague is at least treatable if caught soon enough. These types? There is no cure, because the proper authorities refuse to see the inherent danger, to both themselves and the rest of us, in letting them go that far down that path. This means the rest of us have to deal with them with no backup at all. It's scary down here.
She reminds me of those types, the speaking-in-tongues types with the uber scary, glazed-over look in their eyes.
Takket
(21,625 posts)GP6971
(31,205 posts)has been unable to successfully translate her comments.
mysuzuki2
(3,521 posts)2pooped2pop
(5,420 posts)TBF
(32,090 posts)what she is talking about - as usual.
daleo
(21,317 posts)So religious loons have to screw innocent people over all by themselves.
Eugene
(61,945 posts)She's telling her base that God wants them to act.
It will make perfect sense to them, if not to us.
That said, her level of craziness is scary.
aint_no_life_nowhere
(21,925 posts)Has sister Sarah been listening to Joni Mitchell?
The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,836 posts)because it's parked. And God doesn't need to drive a car at all, being God and omnipresent and all that.
abakan
(1,819 posts)He will start driving as soon as he gets back.
gollygee
(22,336 posts)I don't think He drives parked cars either.
Tierra_y_Libertad
(50,414 posts)Half-Century Man
(5,279 posts)or morse.....maybe tralfamadorian (An Alien race penned by K. Vonnegut. In this dimension they look like toilet plungers with an eye at the top of the handle and communicate by tap dancing and farting).
NastyRiffraff
(12,448 posts)where intervention is needed. Quickly.
NuclearDem
(16,184 posts)Initech
(100,102 posts)GeorgeGist
(25,323 posts)Jamaal510
(10,893 posts)Scuba
(53,475 posts)awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)but now I have "all you want to do is park around Sally- park, Sally, park"
awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)I used to park Porsches, I must make amends.
knownow
(53 posts)head but what's in my head says what's inside her head is miniature golf on video.
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)Is there anybody who can just permanently shut her up?
MoonchildCA
(1,301 posts)KentuckyWoman
(6,692 posts)He can't park worth a shit either apparently
IcyPeas
(21,904 posts)Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
the funny thing is... this can be explained.
3catwoman3
(24,044 posts)...parked cars, but the ex-half-guv drives me nucking futs.
hatrack
(59,592 posts)And heaping mounds of whipped Random.
d_r
(6,907 posts)Gothmog
(145,554 posts)Juanita Jean is convinced that Palin is hearing voices in her head again. http://www.juanitajean.com/2014/07/21/holy-crap-from-now-on-god-only-speaks-to-sarah-edition/
Sarah Palin is hearing voices again. Shes just passing along a message
God wants Obama to be impeached and God does not drive parked cars. Yall, seriously, I do not know where the whole God does not drive parked cars came from. Its pretty much my observation that God drives whatever God wants to, whenever God wants, to wherever God wants.
When you listen to this, help me out. These new speech patterns she has, you know, with the very odd rhythm of unconnected phrases and random emphasis is that a thing?
Yeah, I think its a thing.
KinMd
(966 posts)winter is coming
(11,785 posts)NBachers
(17,136 posts)Jim Lane
(11,175 posts)Does that mean that Obama wants to drive parked cars?
No, wait, I got it wrong. Obama wants to play God, and God does not drive parked cars, so Obama wants to drive cars that aren't parked.
So the whole thing is a metaphor for Benghazi.