Did the Department of Defense come up with these numbers?

it must include a good portion of rent or mortgage?

nt

and decide they need more room once they start having kids.

Dh and I started with a 3 bedroom, 2 bath house. We added children, keeping the 3 bedroom, 2 bath house. But once they reached school age, we sold and moved to another district. I miss my old house- we were done remodeling and it was in a very walkable neighborhood. But the school district sucks very badly- their graduation rate is in the upper 60% range. We fled to a more expensive area with a school that has a nearly 100% graduation rate.

That cost me more in terms of a mortgage. I do like the neighborhood - it's quiet and very safe - but I wouldn't have moved here if I didn't have kids.

All choices, of course. But the main driver for folks that move into my neighborhood is to access the two public schools.

My wallet actually aches.

You can spend less than this figure, of course.

Child care is particularly expensive. We used to pay more than our mortgage payment each month for that item. I ended up being a SAHM for years because my salary just didn't hit break even.

Clothing is cheap (or can be) until the teenage years and even then you can send them to thrift stores. Cell phones are optional (though we pay for our kids' phones.) We bike, so our kids have received a series of bikes as they've grown (more often used than new). We won't buy an extra car for them. We are fortunate that my job provides excellent insurance coverage for the whole family.

Again, the figure is much about choices.