when we go shopping for a gadget at an electronics store that I know more about than my husband, and the salesguy just talks to my husband even tho I have the right questions and hub knows absolutely nothing about it with no questions... I just give Salesguy the middle finger - and he doesn't even notice, because I am invisible, invincible. I must be because he shakes my husband's hand, but I'm not there at all. I think next time I'll try out my invisible fart.

Permanut

(5,628 posts)

3. Thanks for the alert about this, hardball...

Reply to Playinghardball (Original post)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 06:10 PM

Apr 2012

always delightful to find out one of my favorite actors is an advocate for sanity.

As opposed to some not so favorites, like Chuck Norris, Jon Voigt and Dennis Miller, among others, who are advocates for Hannity.

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)

4. Patriarchy is not men. Patriarchy is a system in which both women and men participate.

Reply to Playinghardball (Original post)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 06:39 PM

Apr 2012

That women are joining in the ongoing disassembling of my appearance is salient. Patriarchy is not men. Patriarchy is a system in which both women and men participate. It privileges, inter alia, the interests of boys and men over the bodily integrity, autonomy, and dignity of girls and women. It is subtle, insidious, and never more dangerous than when women passionately deny that they themselves are engaging in it. This abnormal obsession with women’s faces and bodies has become so normal that we (I include myself at times—I absolutely fall for it still) have internalized patriarchy almost seamlessly. We are unable at times to identify ourselves as our own denigrating abusers, or as abusing other girls and women.

it looks like the article has been shortened and some of the good stuff taken out.

shcrane71

(1,721 posts)

10. Internalized misogyny is difficult to recognize let alone unlearn.

Reply to seabeyond (Reply #4)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 01:31 PM

Apr 2012

Thanks for posting! I only got the shortened version of the article.

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)

11. i dont know what happened to the whole article. it was well worth it.

Reply to shcrane71 (Reply #10)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 01:44 PM

Apr 2012

but, yes. i agree with your post. as she says, she finds herself falling into it occasionally, too. i heard it in one part of her letter, lol. it is a tough place not to go. but, with recognition, we can be a whole lot better, helping all of us out to get beyond it. it is worth it in freeing ourselves up to our authentic self.

"As an actor and woman who, at times, avails herself of the media, I am painfully aware of the conversation about women’s bodies, and it frequently migrates to my own body. I know this, even though my personal practice is to ignore what is written about me. I do not, for example, read interviews I do with news outlets. I hold that it is none of my business what people think of me. I arrived at this belief after first, when I began working as an actor 18 years ago, reading everything. I evolved into selecting only the “good” pieces to read. Over time, I matured into the understanding that good and bad are equally fanciful interpretations. I do not want to give my power, my self-esteem, or my autonomy, to any person, place, or thing outside myself. I thus abstain from all media about myself. The only thing that matters is how I feel about myself, my personal integrity, and my relationship with my Creator. Of course, it’s wonderful to be held in esteem and fond regard by family, friends, and community, but a central part of my spiritual practice is letting go of otheration. And casting one’s lot with the public is dangerous and self-destructive, and I value myself too much to do that. "

i came to this place about a decade ago. life has not been the same since. i am so thankful and totally get what she says.