CNN Begins Coverage of Royal Pregnancy

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—CNN kicked off its coverage of the latest royal pregnancy on Monday by simulating the journey of Prince William’s sperm to Kate Middleton’s egg.

Holding two plastic models of the Windsors’ reproductive cells, the CNN host Don Lemon offered viewers a dramatic re-creation of the path taken by the royal spermatozoon.

The CNN president Jeff Zucker praised the demonstration, calling it “the perfect way to kick off our twenty-four-hour coverage of this story for the next nine months.”

“This is the most important story of the year, and we plan to throw everything at it,” Zucker said, adding that he was reassigning reporters who are currently working from Ukraine.



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