It all goes back to a party when I first came here.

And some of use have had more experience with various 3 letter agencies than others.

Thanks, Hobbit!

Silly of me

See, another reason I don't get it. I can say I am me all I want and unless you're a computer geek that can prove it, or know me personally, I could be lying.

But I am not.

Hell, I had an account hacked and my picture posted publicly and was still accused of actually being a dirty old man or having 10 year old pictures by jealous idiots. Actually made me feel pretty damn good about myself.

I talk to a lot of elected officials, candidates and political people you read about in the news, and I'm not always comfortable talking about what they tell me if it could get traced back.

They will use that info to track down employers, friends and associates, etc. Then they will use lies and statements stripped of context to try and destroy others that they disagree with.

For me, all the more reason not to hide. But I understand I am in the minority there. Thank you for the response.

This creepy, icky guy contacted my employer, sent mail to my house, called my phone. All that because a person I had befriended was talked into giving the stalker my personal information.

BTW, is why I keep my profile empty.

I used to be on another forum. For some reason, that forum attracted more than it's share of narcissists, drama queens and psychopaths. I guess they wanted to feel superior to the "poor, illiterate ASL using Deaf" - especially in the Deaf education forum. Deaf education is a hot topic and debates can get intense especially when it's oralism vs manualism.

Explaining the philosophies of both methods is a bit beyond the scope of this post. In any case, my group made enemies with 4 parents who called themselves "The Horsemen" who saw themselves as the destroyers of the Deaf community. I was friendly with the Horsemen at first.

When I first started debating with them. I realized that this group might be capable of picking up info about us and using it against us so I cleared any data that could be used to track me down and I didn't put any info.

My friend wasn't nearly so discreet and in time they threatened to call her boss at work. I thought they should have been perma banned for that. One of them even threatened our moderator as well. The guy is a lawyer as well. I left the forum after a member of my group got perma banned and our moderator resigned in protest as well.

BTW. the Horsemen are in one of my FB groups. I have them on block though I can tell if they're still active by the response of the other members.

The lawyer guy threatened to call one of the parent's office and give the dirt on them to their boss when they got in a heated debate in my FB group. He almost got banned for that.

Ditto for one of the other horsemen. She has a history of setting up multiple accounts and faking ids. She got perma banned - twice - for that. Now some think she is doing the same thing in my FB group; I think they may be right. I could tell you some colorful bits about her but this is a bit beyond the scope of the post.

I'm afraid there are malicious people out there. Gotta protect yourself from them.

I guess within any group there will be discourse. But to do things like that, threaten and actually go after someone's job, etc just makes no sense.

Glad you were able to protect yourself in the end

Especially parents, set out to break up a community? Deaf or otherwise

I am not one of those who are anti speech. Few deaf are anti-speech even if their speech is not easily understood.
Even after I learned sign, I kept going to speech class until up to 10th grade. Speech teachers decided I didn't need therapy anymore. Speech class was in deaf school.

Oralism advocates speech and lip reading. Sign language is not allowed for fear it would affect speech.

I think lip reading is a useful skill but it has it pitfalls. There are few things lipreaders dread more than a toothless person. They're impossible to lipread. I've heard the many hearing have a hard time understanding their toothless people's speech. I believe it. It's also exhausting to lipread all day and I've ended up with a pretty bad headache in my face as a result.

Most deaf who grew up oral eventually become anti-oralism once they encounter the Deaf community. If I had a nickel for every orally raised deaf person saying they wished they had grown up with sign language at silent dinners, I could buy an island.

That's because using sign with others who use it is not a struggle to be understood by each other. It makes it so much easier to communicate with others. As much as I like the hearing, interacting with them in groups is difficult for me. Even interacting with 3 of them can be difficult at times.

Some extreme oralists (note that I said extreme) want to keep deaf children away from each other because of unfounded fears that they will make up homemade signs to each other and destroy their ability to speak. Some people want speech at all costs. Others are in denial.

While hearing parents want good speech and that is quite understandable. Most for the record, are not like the Horsemen.

Some in my group expressed the fear that the deaf community would disappear, hence why the parents named themselves the Horsemen.

One deaf woman in my FB group told me that deaf adults with out any language skills were put in mental institutions after they failed to develop speech and left there.

She has met quite a few of them. I've met a couple of such deaf people. It makes me angry to see an adult without any language skills at all. Such people really do exist though they are rare.

If what that deaf woman has told me is any indication; they're more common than I thought and not as rare as I had believed. The parents of those adults likely have personality disorders. I think the same is true for the Horsemen.

People tend to discount the deaf when they talk about their upbringing. I hope I won't be discounted here.

It's very difficult to explain this stuff in a few paragraphs.

It's a intense subject between the two camps.

Here's a couple of links that might help:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_acquisition_by_deaf_children

http://www.deafwebsites.com/education/oralism.html

In TV shows. I am surprised to learn it is a bigger movement than I thought or imagined.

I also never thought about what it must be like to read certain things if you have never heard them.

I can't understand why anyone would want to take any kind of communication away from anyone. What a horrible thing to do. I had a friend once upon a time who had deaf parents. I remember thinking, watching him argue with his parents in sign language, "they're yelling at each other with their hands." I remember thinking about how hard it must have been to have to deal with so many different things, for all of them. But the parents spoke. Obviously, they taught their child, at least to some extent, to speak. What kind of life would any of them have if there wasn't sign language?

I am sorry you have yet another thing to have to deal with. Frankly, to think the deaf community would disappear because of speaking or lip reading or using any sign language seems to be just another extremist point of view. Fear mongering.

Thank you for the information, the links and for sharing this. I appreciate knowing it.

Last edited Wed Sep 17, 2014, 05:23 PM - Edit history (1)

and yes, that's fairly extreme.

It's understandable that parents want their deaf children to speak and to fit in within the mainstream but to go to the lengths that the Horsemen did is well... bizarre.

And many in my group wondered if it was just us. Nope. The Horsemen are having trouble getting along with hearing parents who disagree with them in my FB group.

Many of us might not have a worry, but others might be public figures or otherwise hold jobs that could be jeopardized by the exposure of our political beliefs.

It's not about shame so much as awareness of the evil that others might do.

A certain website/board invests a remarkable amount of effort in identifying DU members.

If a person here was, for example, gay or transsexual and held a job in public education, they might prefer that their identity on this board be kept private.

It's kind of a big deal!

I'm reminded of a phrase that I think relates well to the issue: "If you have nothing to hide then you won't mind being searched..."

We might have nothing to hide, it doesn't matter, our privacy is still invaluable.

I'm glad you brought up the topic, Mary

Just seems there have to be more of us that are just your regular Joe/Josephine that don't have to worry about hiding.

Thanks for the reply and insight, NYC_SKP.



PS. I was not aware of the site of which you speak.

PPS: I totally, completely, 100% HATE the invasion of privacy. Please don't ever read anything I ever say to mean that stupid, inane, ridiculous excuse "if you have nothing to hide you don't have a reason to care if the government invades your privacy" stupidity.

Obviously, I realized that too late.



Also, I am in a position where it's better my name not get associated with my politics.

Thank you

on another site and seemed to attract psychopaths every now and again. Given the gun-happy climate in this country, I prefer to remain anonymous in order to prevent some Fox-watching goober with an AK showing up on my front porch.

Threatened and outed in Facebook. They posted private pictures, did horrible things with her kids' pictures, threatened her life, etc. She used to post here too. Hoping she still posts or writes for some online publication. But they sure killed her spirit at the time.

you would understand.

but I was other places. I do get that though.

Sometimes it felt like if the bushies themselves didn't come for us then their obedient patriotic minions would. I got cautious about which forums I'd use my real name on. DU- no. Letter to the editor- yes.

Thanks you, Bonnie!

your real name.

I need to take the time to learn more about that. Just haven't had the time. And then, when I do start taking the time, I get distracted.

Not because I care if people know who I am but because I resent the intrusion by the government and corporations. Not that there's actually a difference anymore.

Thank you for your response.

Safety is a priority for a single mom with one child. ChazII is the name I selected because when I joined there was a Chaz.

Kids are the best reason ever.

...hate my name and I have always hated my name. I try not to use it in real life either.

And one I hadn't heard before. Thanks

Obvious bad actors (like someone give 5 or 10 time outs by the community) are allowed to post here with impunity. It's something like a once nice neighborhood that is becoming infested with crime.

I was totally unaware. Thank you!

I was fired up about making my first post and never gave it a thought. It was amusing when I realized what a small minority I was in using my real name, lol. I see pros and cons both ways and I don't regret it. For me the bottom line is that my opinions are my opinions and all things considered I like owning them fully. Ironically it came up with my first OP which was one that was kind of nuanced in partially defending soldiers who served in the Iraq war. I took the position that I wanted a military that followed the orders of civilian leadership rather than one that made it's own decisions when and where to go to war. One response I got asked me "Who are you?" to which I pointed out that I, unlike the person responding, actually was using my own real name.

Thanks for the reply, Tom.

I think I remember that post.

...which was great warm up for the primary wars that were just about to go nuclear. Those were the days.

buy yeah, was crazy everywhere

and found those two results, plus names of friends, and a map to her house, in about that amount of time.

And she lives in a big city. I live in a small town.

Now that I think of it, you could use someone's name who you didn't like, post some horrible shit, and then wait for them to come to work to tell you about the stranger that beat their door down and kicked their ass the other day.

But I bet there are people who do it.

That would suck!

I can't live in fear of that. And with so many people that know how to find someone, unless the poster is an internet/computer guru, It seems pointless to me to hide.

But, I understand your point and it is 100% valid.

Unfortunately there are some very sick people out here. I hope you will be safe and block personal information.
Peace and love, Kim

I do know that. I was kidding with that response.

I appreciate the thoughts.

Peace

Mary

I guess it falls under "job."

Thank you!

choose a "user name." When the Great Name Change opportunity happened, I decided the more courageous position was to keep my name. I've run for office and asked DU for money under my real name (not that DUers will really support a candidacy that way.)

Especially if you are a public figure. Bravo!

That's not a dis to those that don't.

It doesn't matter how mildly you post someone will take offense and say mean things about you. A small number of people who are good with computers might be inspired to do more. Giving your name might make it easier on them.

But even without that risk, there's still a distancing effect when you create a name that's not you for people to take shots at.

Bryant

Thank you. Seriously, for signing your name.

I have had my job called, private pictures posted, threatened, though never my life, and I just figure they're the ones that look like cowards and assholes.

I do have the advantage of having an awesome boss, no kids or spouse and a body I am not ashamed of. Not something everyone has or doesn't have.

Thank you!

I will bookmark for later. Didn't expect so many responses here.

I truly appreciate your signing with your name!



PS: can't seem to bookmark it. But I will read later. Thanks again

Lotta good people in that thread we don't see any more.

I miss so many DUers.

I don't get why good people leave just because, well, assholes move in. It's a shame.

OK I sort of get it. But it's still a shame.

sometimes it's just life moving on.

I have never seen that thread before. OMG, I remember so many of those DUers, including some who have since passed away.

That was a terrible time for democrats and the shared despair truly created a bond. Reading those posts was very touching and inspiring.

They were very courageous to post their real names.

for old friends.

I wish it would be republished. It's wonderful.

But I completely get the reasons many would do otherwise. I do find it odd to get a pm without a name though. No matter though, everyone's got their reasons and that's cool.

Julie Nelson

I guess comparing it to being closeted was not fair. I was closeted for YEARS so I get that too.

Yeah, in a PM it would be nice to have a name. Even if fake. Just better than "Hi 12345a"

Thanks, Julie!

I live in a conservative area and try to stay non-political professionally as a speaker. Second, I've had enough crazy people on my case over the years--I started posting in the "bulletin board" days--and don't want to be to open. Third, I have a very common name and wanted to make a statement with my handle (Maeve was the legendary Irish queen who went to war as part of a cattle raid. So, I started using her name after the 2000 election--another large pile of bull!)

All the reasons have been good. I was curious. I don't blame anyone for doing it. Just didn't understand why so many do.

Great handle!

after being stalked on Usenet years ago. I still think it's the coward's way out, but when I joined, handles seemed to be the way to go around here, so I came up with one.

I was tempted to switch to my real name a while ago, but we were able to see how many people were ignoring us and I had 30 or back then. Then, I had a post hidden and one of the jurors said the post was OK, but he voted to hide just because he didn't like me.

Figured to just leave well enough alone.

As I said in the OP, I understand there are reasons. It just seems odd there are so many that do.

Thank you for your reply. I do appreciate it!

I believe it keeps me honest and (hopefully) helps me to remember to talk to others with courtesy and respect. (Okay, I am not perfect! Lol!)

During the investigation of the 2004 election I received death threats, and I believe my phone was tapped -- or it may have been that of the other activists I was speaking with -- but apparently we did not warrant the "expensive" equipment, and could always hear the "click" and not-quite-an-echo.

I have posted here on DU on controversial subjects including (but not limited to): illegal drugs, domestic terrorism/guns, police violence, jury duty, welfare fraud, school shootings, "woo" science, landlord/tenant disputes, illegal foreclosure, Syria, civil/LGBT rights, Ramadan fasting, domestic violence and abortion, plus my hatred of Reagan/Bush Wars/Smarmy Lying Republicans.

I had been a member for over eight years when I started posting about "the neighbor girl" which ended up with me being called vicious and nasty name over in the Meta forum in a way which stunned me (but made for some great reading in the presentation and was very educational in the long run). My recent opinions on domestic violence victims being "idiots" if they married perpetrators had multiple posters castigating me for being "insensitive", while my own personal experiences were discounted and several told me I am just as bad as the abusers for holding such a "controlling" opinion; it still wasn't as obnoxious as the folks a few years ago who "explained" that illegal drugs are fine, any evidence of "20% of users having issues" was simply propaganda, and my calling people in the middle of custody disputes "stupid" for endangering their right to parent their children by using weed was met with some stunning levels of entitled wrath.

Ah, there were some glorious flame wars!

I don't have time to troll message boards under pseudonyms. I stick to the simple "tell the truth" and thus don't need to worry about keeping track of any lies. That doesn't mean my opinions don't change and evolve over time -- for example, my mother was AMAZINGLY STUPID when I was a teenager, but has gotten progressively smarter the older I have gotten. Now that I have children who are a lot more like me than I am always proud of, I have even found myself calling her up to apologize for some of my more "entertaining" childhood antics.

Overall, I am still a Raving Liberal, but have changed from "Pure Stubborn Independent" to "Fine, I Guess I Will Register as a Democrat, if I Have To" so maybe that is good.

I am not a national figure - just one (stubborn) woman trying her best to make this a better world. Sometimes I am wrong, but I am not ashamed of who I am or the opinions I hold.

I'm kind of stupid that way.

And not so much in others. Though in relation to the OP, very much so.

I, for the first time in my life, will NOT register as a Democrat. The party is no better (well not much better) than the Republican party. For the last national elections I still argued the "lesser of 2 evils" side. No more. I am not an Obamabot and I want real change. Real hope. I don't see that in the current democratic party.

Thank you so much for your reply!

And I live in Michigan, where we see a HUGE difference in the Democrats versus Republicans. We currently have a Republican (Rick Snyder) as Governor who has made some bone headed AWFUL moves, are losing a great Democratic Senator (Senator Levin), and my own representative (Gary Peters) is running for the seat.

As my husband says, Let's Go Blue!

are bizarre States. Illinois is a little weird. It's really Chicago v the rest of the State

He is not happy about losing to Notre Dame week before last, but the Appalachian State game had him very happy.

The very top.

But stalking seems to be right up there with it.

Thank you!

And with the power of Google, I'd like my time on any internet board to be as discreet as possible.

If people Google my name here, they'd better like reading up on David Simon HBO dramas.

I try not to post too much information about the town I live in or grew up in (although I'll post frequently about my state), or my specific career, or anything that would be too much of a personal marker.

It's just a personal preference.

Thank you for your reply, "Tommy"

But kids used to pick on me at school for it, and I know how brutal the We Hate Names Over Two Syllables faction at DU can be. I don't want to become their next target, so please don't let on that I told you my real name...

And thanks for telling me!

not to use your real name, among other things they said. I don't remember the full rationale anymore, but believe it had something to do with theft.

Though I didn't before you reminded me. Thank you!

Not for my sake, but for my family's.

The latest batch came from someone who at least reads DU; I sent a message to the admins, but never got a response. So I shall remain at least somewhat anonymous.

Plus sundry other countermeasures.

Shame on the admins. Certainly should be at the top of the list for a response. Sorry for that.

over an article I wrote celebrating diversity in 2000. I am not going to make it easier for racist creeps like this to target me.

I'm sorry that happened to you.

Scared the shit out of me they found out where I lived because I use a PO Box for 99% of stuff and my private address is nearly impossible to get, I've even tried finding it myself. Even my phone number I give out is a Google phone.

in my case, I live in a RW area, and have for many years had a RW employer, and served RW customers. This has been a good refuge, one of the few places I could speak freely without worrying about local economic repercussions.

I've generally envied people who use their own name, here and elsewhere online - it would be nice, but I don't think it would work for me.

Sort of how I feel at a gay bar. Not that I hide. Just I don't even think about the fact I am bi at a gay bar. I just am who I am. But at a straight bar, it's always on my mind.

Thank you!

women on this board have received rape threats. Nope, not using my real name to help out the unhinged.

And is horrible!

I thank you for your response!

Primarily, because I am on the board of directors of a non-profit group and have been for many years. I tend to speak my mind on the internet. I don't want my personal opinions to be associated with the non-profit in any way. The supporters of the non-profit span all political persuasions. We need to keep our political affiliations to ourselves. I can't afford to alienate conservative Republican donors from a worthy nonpartisan non-profit just because I am a loudmouth feminist Democrat.

Thank you!

::::snaps to attention and salutes::::

I use a fake name because sometimes I like to be snarky and sarcastic here, but don't want it to affect the job I'm trying to make for myself. People are crazy, in case you haven't noticed. I've been online since 1995 or so, and I've seen way more cray cray than is probably good for me.

Maybe I'm being foolish. But, I am who I am.

that can hurt in terms of keeping jobs, people being civil to you, property damage etc. It is the same reason I don't say much about my political/religious beliefs (or lack thereof) on Facebook under my real name. That can come back on you in a big way if you live in an area where you are not the majority.

I'm glad you are comfortable enough where you are to be able to be so forthcoming. I wish it were safe for everyone to express their views without fear of repercussions.

And I am sorry that it isn't for you and so many. Really sucks.

Thank you!

Though many are basically the same reasons, they're all deeply individual.

I now want to apologize for the characterization of being closeted. That was wrong.

I respect everyone's reason.

I do hope people continue to respond. I find it very interesting.

Thank you very much to all that have responded.

As long as nobody knows who I am I can be online and communicate with others on my schedule. Once people become aware of my identity they are in possession of other, more invasive means of communication.

I don't want somebody calling me on the phone to argue a point I made online. We all of other things to do with our time and I want to be in control of that time.

Not one that I have ever had an issue with but I can see how it would be for some.

It's not wise for one to blast their name out across the world with views, etc. It extends far beyond privacy. It is good common sense. ... really, about no matter what one says or does, some people are going to hate one and some are unhinged enough to take action against one in various ways.

and I understand there is obviously a much wider reach when online. But, that's true in real life too. Just crazy people everywhere.

Thank you!!

It sucks that you have to watch yourself at all times.