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TexasTowelie

(112,209 posts)
Sat Sep 27, 2014, 10:14 PM Sep 2014

4 Good Reasons For A Man To Hit A Woman

By Troy Dunn

Lately, there has been much discussion about violence against women by the men in their life. Many have said there is never a good reason for a man to strike a woman but I disagree and today I am speaking out! I have six sons and I have taught them what my father taught my brothers and I: there are four good reasons for a man to hit the woman he loves;

1. Fire. If you look over at the woman you love and discover flames have overtaken your girl, you should absolutely knock her to the ground and start rolling her around.

2. Spider. If your princess discovers a spider wandering across her shoulder and with sheer terror in her voice says “GET. IT. Off! You should smack that 8 legged sucker right off of her.

3. Choking. If over dinner she begins to laugh at another one of your amazingly funny stories and in the process, lodges a bit of her steak in her throat, you have my full support to yank her out of her chair, spin her around and start squeezing her beneath her rib-cage until she spits up!

4. Train. If, while enjoying a peaceful, after dinner walk with your lover, you notice she has wandered into the path of a quickly approaching oncoming train, by all means, grab her by her arm and like the strong man you are, yank her backwards aggressively.

Absent the presence of fire, spiders, choking or trains, dad taught us boys there is never, ever, ever, ever, ever a justifiable reason for a man to strike a woman. Period. He said real men don’t do it. He then added this important definition about being a ‘real man’ which I want to share with all men today;

“Real men don’t allow other men to hit women either.”

I call upon my brothers-in-manhood everywhere to join with me in ZERO TOLERANCE for violence against women. Don’t hit and don’t tolerate hitting. That woman you see getting abused by her “man”, at the club or in the parking lot or even, oh let’s say, an elevator; intervene. Put yourself between the abuser and the victim. Is that dangerous? Could be. But it’s what a real man would do. Always remind yourself when you witness violence on a woman- that is somebody’s mother, daughter or sister.

Just for the record, it IS your business if you decide to make it your business. In the Dunn household, my sons know we consider the safety of other women, our personal business, whether the abuser likes it or not.

Lastly, a note to the abused women of the world- do not take one more punch, slap or kick from any man. There is NOTHING that makes it okay. Stop making excuses for him. He is a broken man and needs to be repaired before he is worthy of spending another second in your presence. Insist on it.

5 Bad Reasons Women Let Men Hit Them;

1. “He was drunk”. So what? He will be drunk again. And although I have personally never been drunk, I know many people who do occasionally get intoxicated- NONE of them hit their women. Your husband or boyfriend is not NORMAL. Stop trying to convince yourself he is.

2. “He’s under a lot of stress”. Real men deal with stress by hitting the gym, hitting a golf ball or even hitting the buffet. They do NOT hit women. Stress is not a gateway emotion to violence for healthy, normal men.

3. “I deserved it”. What???? No. There is nothing you or any woman can do to validate violence against you. Maybe you have done something so bad he leaves you, but violence is not on the list of options for him to choose from when he is upset. NEVER AN OPTION.

4. “His dad abused his mom. It’s all he knows.” When I hear that statement, it makes me throw up a little in my mouth. So what if he witnessed abuse as a child?? If anything, he knows better than others the hurt and pain that comes from abuse. In life we witness lots of things that are bad but we don’t then go integrate them into our own lives. If your man abuses you because he witness abuse, let him go witness therapy. Let him go witness a support group. Let him go witness life alone without you and the children.

5. “It was only once. He apologized.” Statistics say that where there is a “first time”, there is a second time. Your response to the “first time” needs to send an incredibly clear message to your “man” that there will be no second time. Send that message so clearly it haunts him. Make a bold statement with action attached. It is the ‘action’ that will signal the level of your seriousness. That might be calling the police, it might be moving out for a week or two, it might be telling him to leave for a week or require immediate counseling. Your words to him after being hit MUST be followed up with immediate action to reinforce the true level of intolerance you have for violence against yourself.

You might be shocked to learn that someone in your life is an abuser, which means somebody in your life is a victim. Rather than guessing who it might be, just share this article with everyone so it reaches the ones who need to hear it most.

Abusers, be on notice--I’m watching. My sons are watching. And millions of other real men are watching. We WILL defend and protect your wife, your mother and your sister….even from you.

https://www.facebook.com/TroyTheLocator/photos/a.499440200028.388114.319388540028/10154590655580029/?type=1&fref=nf
57 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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4 Good Reasons For A Man To Hit A Woman (Original Post) TexasTowelie Sep 2014 OP
5. Self defense. LostInAnomie Sep 2014 #1
You have the right to do a lot of things when under attack intaglio Sep 2014 #52
Nice. A challenge to my masculinity because I want to defend myself from attack. LostInAnomie Sep 2014 #53
A challenge to your masculinity? intaglio Sep 2014 #56
You being offended has jack-fucking-shit to so with my right to defend myself. LostInAnomie Sep 2014 #57
I think I just fell in love with you. sheshe2 Sep 2014 #2
I fell in love with him earlier! Back off! LOL! freshwest Sep 2014 #23
RoFL~ sheshe2 Sep 2014 #26
Just a little meow and hiss... Hey, you two might hit it off, or at least be friends. freshwest Sep 2014 #29
I gain one admirer, but lose another one in the process with my crass commentary. TexasTowelie Sep 2014 #30
Don't worry, all is forgiven! Love No Matter What, is my motto, up to a point. Still safe! freshwest Sep 2014 #32
Smug and condescending. But I agree with the point. immoderate Sep 2014 #3
I felt the same. It was cute...but no cigar. nt pinboy3niner Sep 2014 #48
Let's put it this way... pipi_k Sep 2014 #4
^^This^^ 99Forever Sep 2014 #7
+1 Jamaal510 Sep 2014 #50
An observation on what kids see when growing up. SheilaT Sep 2014 #5
Will you adopt me? Jamastiene Sep 2014 #37
LOL! SheilaT Sep 2014 #43
gawds forbid "princess" is "terrified" by a spider!!!!! bunnies Sep 2014 #6
FWIW, TexasTowelie Sep 2014 #8
No need to hit anyone! Pick them up and bring them outside. bunnies Sep 2014 #9
I am a man... awoke_in_2003 Sep 2014 #20
I have a container and I have developed Jamastiene Sep 2014 #39
Thank you! JanMichael Sep 2014 #45
Yes! Jamastiene Sep 2014 #54
Yes! Spiders are our friends! immoderate Sep 2014 #49
They really are. Jamastiene Sep 2014 #55
In my house, it's the men who are afraid of spiders notadmblnd Sep 2014 #19
I overheard a horrifying tidbit of conversation last night FrodosPet Sep 2014 #10
K & R Thinkingabout Sep 2014 #11
5th good reason ReasonableToo Sep 2014 #12
"Wandered into the path of a Freight Train" BlueJazz Sep 2014 #13
Well said, TT!... Aristus Sep 2014 #14
So, what if . . . OldRedneck Sep 2014 #15
Haven't you heard of touch football? TexasTowelie Sep 2014 #17
EWW! freshwest Sep 2014 #24
Okay, that was crass TexasTowelie Sep 2014 #28
Don't make me act like a mother hen! freshwest Sep 2014 #31
Oh, just make me squee... TexasTowelie Sep 2014 #33
What is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil. ~ Nietzsche freshwest Sep 2014 #34
Ruh roh, Skittles is gonna kick your ass for saying that. Jamastiene Sep 2014 #40
I have good reason to be scared. TexasTowelie Sep 2014 #42
Refinement GeoWilliam750 Sep 2014 #16
Agreed. TexasTowelie Sep 2014 #18
Completely agree, and apologies if I sounded pedantic (although I often am) GeoWilliam750 Sep 2014 #46
Oh, no, I just fell in love again. With that entire post and sig line. Reckless in my old age... freshwest Sep 2014 #25
I had to calm a man after a tarantula crossed his hand... alittlelark Sep 2014 #21
I'd add another to your list... Veilex Sep 2014 #22
Another time it is permissable to hit someone MurrayDelph Sep 2014 #27
Thank you for this post. Jamastiene Sep 2014 #35
You're welcome. TexasTowelie Sep 2014 #38
Imagine a world where each person, depending to their abilities, Jamastiene Sep 2014 #41
#5: due to some odd slang affectation, you refer to joints as "women" Warren DeMontague Sep 2014 #36
Hey, man-- Jackpine Radical Sep 2014 #51
Another things a real man does not hit. Tab Sep 2014 #44
My reason: If you put your hands on me, I put my hands on you. bigwillq Sep 2014 #47

intaglio

(8,170 posts)
52. You have the right to do a lot of things when under attack
Mon Sep 29, 2014, 12:57 PM
Sep 2014

In the USA you could shoot the woman and that would demonstrate what a big man you are ...

LostInAnomie

(14,428 posts)
53. Nice. A challenge to my masculinity because I want to defend myself from attack.
Mon Sep 29, 2014, 01:31 PM
Sep 2014

DU sure is classy anymore.

intaglio

(8,170 posts)
56. A challenge to your masculinity?
Mon Sep 29, 2014, 07:09 PM
Sep 2014

Sorry, but if you think such things challenge your sexual potency or identity then really you have no idea about how offensive you are.

LostInAnomie

(14,428 posts)
57. You being offended has jack-fucking-shit to so with my right to defend myself.
Mon Sep 29, 2014, 08:06 PM
Sep 2014

If a woman is attacking you, your own personal safety is a perfectly good reason to hit her. Self defense is a basic human right.

If you somehow associate hitting women with sexual potency and male identity, that's your own issue.

freshwest

(53,661 posts)
29. Just a little meow and hiss... Hey, you two might hit it off, or at least be friends.
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 02:07 AM
Sep 2014
That's all we need at this stage, now. Better to get something more, but what the heck. Glad to see you're laughing...

TexasTowelie

(112,209 posts)
30. I gain one admirer, but lose another one in the process with my crass commentary.
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 02:13 AM
Sep 2014

I knew this thread would get me in trouble, I have been forsaken.

pipi_k

(21,020 posts)
4. Let's put it this way...
Sat Sep 27, 2014, 10:30 PM
Sep 2014

Under no circumstances should a woman ever hit a man, either

People...men AND women...

Keep your damned hands to yourselves.

 

SheilaT

(23,156 posts)
5. An observation on what kids see when growing up.
Sat Sep 27, 2014, 10:31 PM
Sep 2014

A few years ago when my younger son was in high school, I caught him trying to sneak a brick of marijuana out of the house as he was heading off to school. I managed to take it from him and quickly hide it. He was as angry as you might imagine, and we screamed at each other for about five minutes, then he went off to school.

I had to physically struggle with him to get the marijuana. He was 17, about 5'10", and as strong as a young man that age should be. I'm 5'1", was over 50 at this point, and frankly not in any kind of great physical condition. But I was more determined to get the brick from him than he was willing to hurt me to keep it. He had never seen his father hit me, because his father never did anything like that. He had no model of hurting a woman, and in this circumstance it played to my advantage.

In short, kids do learn a lot from what they witness growing up. My sons never witnessed their father hitting or being violent in any way, and so when something came up where my son might have hit me to get what he wanted, he didn't. He did move out of the house that day and stayed away for six weeks. It was a very trying time for all of us, but then he asked to come back, and things improved, and he's a wonderful young man today and we have a great relationship.

Jamastiene

(38,187 posts)
37. Will you adopt me?
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 03:16 AM
Sep 2014

I'll promise to keep the bricks of marijuana in the house. I can't say they'll stay full bricks for long though.

 

SheilaT

(23,156 posts)
43. LOL!
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 12:55 PM
Sep 2014

I'll only agree to adopt you if you promise to support me in great luxury.

I'm wanting to take a major cruise, preferably around the world, I want to book a suite. It only needs to be a small suite, but I don't want to spend several months crammed into less then 200 square feet. Whaddya say?

Jamastiene

(38,187 posts)
39. I have a container and I have developed
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 03:20 AM
Sep 2014

somewhat of a decent skill coaxing spiders into the container to go outside. If people would just quit panicking long enough and hold still, and I could afford to do it, I'd like to make it my life's mission. I would love to go around trying to save spiders that way. Okay, that would be impossible* to do, but it would be nice.

*I doubt someone in say Seattle is going to wait for me to drive from NC to collect the spider for them. Too bad, though. I'd love to become the Snake and Spider Whisperer.

JanMichael

(24,890 posts)
45. Thank you!
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 02:12 PM
Sep 2014

We are in NC too- Snakes and spiders are safe with us also- but, we do insist that they live in their natural environment: outdoors. We just plop a glass over them, slide paper underneath, and then- they are on their way.

FrodosPet

(5,169 posts)
10. I overheard a horrifying tidbit of conversation last night
Sat Sep 27, 2014, 10:47 PM
Sep 2014

Two young women were walking past me, my friends, and their kids at the Dlectricity event in Midtown Detroit last night.

http://www.dlectricity.com/2014-exhibition/

The line we heard was "He accidentally beat her to death"

We were absolutely horrified and agreed that "accidentally" and "beat" did NOT belong together in that sentence, regardless of whatever else surrounded it in the conversation.

Thinkingabout

(30,058 posts)
11. K & R
Sat Sep 27, 2014, 10:48 PM
Sep 2014

Thanks so much for your post. I had a friend staying with me a few years ago. Her husband was drunk and guess he thought he could hit her, it was with a soft bath garbage can, I wasn't home at the time but was called and I immediately went home, he had left, I changed the locks on the doors and when he returned I told him to go away or I would call the police. It was not okay for me growing up, wasn't okay in my marriage and I would and will not tolerate this behavior in my home. This goes for men or women.

ReasonableToo

(505 posts)
12. 5th good reason
Sat Sep 27, 2014, 11:00 PM
Sep 2014

To hit anyone... I'm told that if someone touches a live wire, the best thing (other than turning power off immediately) is to do a forceful body check to break the connection.

So keep an eye out for male and female DIYers or professional electricians.

Also, K n R

 

BlueJazz

(25,348 posts)
13. "Wandered into the path of a Freight Train"
Sat Sep 27, 2014, 11:02 PM
Sep 2014

"Now Julie, be sure to be home by 12:00...oh and Bob?...Watch her closely, she has a habit of wandering into trains"

 

OldRedneck

(1,397 posts)
15. So, what if . . .
Sat Sep 27, 2014, 11:45 PM
Sep 2014

. . . we're playing football, she's running with the ball . . . am I allowed to knock her on her butt?

TexasTowelie

(112,209 posts)
17. Haven't you heard of touch football?
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 12:10 AM
Sep 2014

I suggest that you take up lacrosse so that you can hit her with your long stick instead...

TexasTowelie

(112,209 posts)
28. Okay, that was crass
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 02:07 AM
Sep 2014

but I'd thought I would give OldRedneck a setup for a punchline. What can I say, it's Saturday night and I'm under the influence of Pepsi.

TexasTowelie

(112,209 posts)
42. I have good reason to be scared.
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 03:29 AM
Sep 2014

Skittles lives about an hour away from where I'm living. If she ever gets my address my butt will be so blue that I won't be able to sit for a month or so.

GeoWilliam750

(2,522 posts)
16. Refinement
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 12:00 AM
Sep 2014

"Always remind yourself when you witness violence on a woman- that is somebody’s mother, daughter or sister. "

"Always remind yourself when you witness violence on a woman- that is somebody. "

Agree with the post, but pet peeve: women are not property.

TexasTowelie

(112,209 posts)
18. Agreed.
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 12:13 AM
Sep 2014

I'm not familiar with the Facebook author, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt with his use of colloquialisms that inferred that women are property in light of the humor and overall message.

GeoWilliam750

(2,522 posts)
46. Completely agree, and apologies if I sounded pedantic (although I often am)
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 06:22 PM
Sep 2014

I truly enjoy both the playful tone of the post and the very serious message it contains. Having known quite a few women on the receiving end of abuse, I am in complete agreement with the authors that violence is never to be tolerated at all - although I might extend that sentiment to all of those who are vulnerable.

My father taught me pretty much just the same as this man, and I could not agree more.

The two sentences above come from a post by one of the ladies in the HoF forum about a year ago. It was a serious "light bulb" moment for me, and my guess is that the original author would heartily agree.

Also, very good luck to you in getting Wendy elected. Get everyone registered. Get everyone out to vote. Put in a governor to make Texas proud.

alittlelark

(18,890 posts)
21. I had to calm a man after a tarantula crossed his hand...
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 01:02 AM
Sep 2014

He was panicking. The high desert is a unique place.

Strength is 'in the moment'.

 

Veilex

(1,555 posts)
22. I'd add another to your list...
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 01:23 AM
Sep 2014

It is okay to try to hit a woman, in the course of training in martial arts.
It is equally okay for her to try hit you back. In fact, if she's not trying to actually hit you, she's doing you a disservice in your training (and vice versa).
And if contact is made? Well, I cannot speak for other martial art systems, but in mine, we bow prior to engagement as a way of advance apology.

That, and my dojo believes firmly in empowering women to hold their own in any fight.

MurrayDelph

(5,297 posts)
27. Another time it is permissable to hit someone
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 02:06 AM
Sep 2014

(of same, or opposite sex):

You're dealing Blackjack. You have a Nine showing. The player's two cards total Eight.

At that time, it is not only acceptable, but fairly mandatory, to "hit" that person.

Jamastiene

(38,187 posts)
35. Thank you for this post.
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 03:10 AM
Sep 2014

If there were more men willing to stand up to abusers/bullies like that, they would think twice about abusing the women, and usually the children too, in their lives.

TexasTowelie

(112,209 posts)
38. You're welcome.
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 03:18 AM
Sep 2014

I'm a bit surprised that the response that his post received. While there might be a few sexist connotations I believe that the message of stopping the abuse comes through prominently.

Jamastiene

(38,187 posts)
41. Imagine a world where each person, depending to their abilities,
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 03:25 AM
Sep 2014

stepped in to stop violence and hate in the world. It would be a much better place if bullies like that had to worry about someone stepping in and stopping them. They would think twice before being so violent if they had to worry about someone strong enough to stop them.

Tab

(11,093 posts)
44. Another things a real man does not hit.
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 01:30 PM
Sep 2014

A real man does not hit children.

I was strongly disciplined by my father. I'm sure others, far more than me, have disciplinary experiences that exceed mine. I know that mine are less that what my father had; the objective here is to make every generation better than the last. I have on only one occasion, when my son was 2, spanked him, and I was miserable afterwards, but I was at the end of my emotional rope at the time. Never before and never after. He's now 18 and gives me hugs every day and tells me he loved me. I was very angry with my father when I was 18. I did not want to repeat that.

Children should never, ever, ever be hit. And that doesn't mean emotional damage doesn't leave scars either. Treat them with respect early on, and to respect others. It's impossible to retrofit later. Do it from the beginning and it'll make your child raising so much easier.

- t
 

bigwillq

(72,790 posts)
47. My reason: If you put your hands on me, I put my hands on you.
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 07:19 PM
Sep 2014

If you don't want my hands on you, keep your hands off me.

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