The only thing that's wrong with that scenario is that if it were the "good, the righteous and the worthy" they wouldn't be going anywhere except straight to hell, where they will surely end up.

They have to go up to be judged...once judged, they are sent to where they deserve to spend eternity!

Can you imagine if the rapture were an actual possibility and they're all floating up there thinking "holy SHIT, I even fooled God with this pious bullshit!!!! I AM AWESOME!!!!"

... this "heaven on Earth" thing really is part of God's plan.



==========================

I think it's the GOP that would be "left behind."

Well, a half bottle anyway.

or drown my sorrows....

get a bottle. For the reasons you gave.

Is it too much to hope that rapture happens in the next week or so?

Heaven is no longer a safe haven. Rockets have been going up and punching holes in it for decades, and now so many righteous people fall down through them. Best to stay here. Besides, I have a fear of heights.

Glad you're here! I call it the Crapture, myself. Don't believe in it. Some dingdong made it up in the 1800s, extrapolating from what I think was a single sentence somewhere in the bowels of the Bible. I sure didn't learn anything about it in Catholic school, and they had plenty of opportunity to teach about a whole bunch of crazy stuff. My personal favorite was when the local priest came over from the church in the neighborhood to conduct catechism class every week. And somehow, he, the lifelong celibate, still was able to make hour-long pronouncements and lectures and dictates about family life, marriage, and having children.

everything in advance, why did he/she/it create the devil and human weakness? And why is the bible full of instances where god "shows remorse," if god is omniscient? And why make the devil a god, with the devils massive powers of influence over humans and the devils own version of "heaven," which we call "hell"? And, where has god been in the last 2000 years?

careful you might offend someone!

it's not a good cartoon.

where you get to eat all the cotton candy you like. You get to listen to a calliope playing "The Sidewalks of New York" for eternity.

At least that's my impression. I don't know of anyone who can show differently.

putting up something that mocks an Islamic belief..right?

Bless your heart.

Yeah. I'm not big on scrupulosity.

against the weakest among us are far from Christ like.

Republicans are old Testament, Democrats are the Beatitudes.

They appeal to hate and prejudice and fear and greed. If their base ever gets wise to them they are toast.

That's unlikely though. Have you listened to Sunday morning TV preachers?

"I ask for you to plant a seed to reap a harvest. That right folks, send us a $1000 seed and you will be blessed with a seven fold increase. Imagine living a debt free life. Having your mortgage paid off. Let me tell you the story of the woman who was homeless and is now in a four bedroom house with a two car garage. It's a supernatural offering, in Jesus Name, Amen."

(Play gospel music)

People are fucking stupid.

they said he hadn't sacrificed enough. Luckily, my sister found out what they were doing and stopped them. It was the 700 club and Falwell. They got $3,000 out of a man dying of cancer that had migrated to his brain. Vultures

From Matthew 25:

31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

The Sky Wizard might smite you if you post something bad

Heard it before, usually coming from a right-wing source.

They are not following the words of their professed savior, Jesus. They are in fact acting 180 degrees to the opposite. Fundamentalists and Evangelicals have so twisted Christian ideology as to disqualify themselves from being called Christians and by this they are being judged. I think it's ok to make fun of anyone's very perverse beliefs, and orthodox fundamentalists of all stripes are included.

Why not?

Why shouldn't mock an Islamic belief? Is Islam perfect or something?

It would take a Rapture for that to happen.

God, PLEASE take back the jerks!

And the entire contents of the bottle spilled out over the planet!

Except their right-wingers either died in the war or were hanged.

True Blue Door

At least the worst of our right wingers was either dead at the end of the war - or got hanged as a result of the war... But some got true the cracks -and have always been a danger to the society they exist in... A marginalized danger - but still a danger...

Diclotican

The US imported them.

and a practical car for everyday use. I'd collect SUV's and mini vans, paint them flat black and use them for Solar water heaters.

the Celestial Litter Box.

Celestial, maybe not, though.

but really don't like it when people want to ban religion

course if the Rapture actually happened. the ones who truely believe will be brought up... I doubt very much most Republicans will be brought up.

there'd be a crazy large number of truly confused people "left behind". Those (like the religio-nutjob, family values bunch) who have made a career crowing about honoring their god, and touting cherry-picked bits of the bible, would be left watching many others ascend. It would be incomprehensible to them as to why the event was playing out just opposite of what they'd expected.

When they challenge their belief system they become something different. It happens but very seldom.

I almost went insane having to write 'I will not pass notes in class,' thirty times when I was in middle school. I can't image having to spend an eternity having to simper up to some deity, continuously prostrating myself in adoration and telling him how great he is. All. the. damn. time. Forever and ever. I'd be like, "Can I have a bathroom break now?" A pause. Then, "That would be a 'no.' Keep going with the homage."

the least bit appealing. constantly trying to abide within the bounds of ridiculous, unattainable standards that undoubtedly are a set up for failure is not restful or peaceful.

to be liberated as well.

ETA - and more beer for the rest of us.

If only...

having a spiritual awakening and to use that word as a religious event is not correct.

... and is living in the hell they created for us all.

pro-spying, against single payer, pro-rich, and submissive to the NRA even when it loses them votes

I expect the mega churches would still be full. I'm certain all of the religious television stations and such would be unaffected. And Washington... Jesus, Washington would lose more people to car accidents that day.

Rapture? Leave now!"

Right on, n2doc!

A place that would be decidedly unpleasant.

No worries.

... the only thing holding back Democratic politicians from working towards a progressive agenda is Republicans?

It's the DEMS little contribution to help make this a "Centrist" nation (of rightwing Republicans).

Awesome.

Republicans would get "raptured" to hell.

They went the wrong way... It's easier for a Camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a Republican to enter heaven.

why have You forsaken us?!?!?!?!"

I find it hard to believe that the quasi-Christians that the right-wing represent would be taken en masse anywhere but straight to Hell.

C'mon Cheezus, take them home to their hateful havenly streets of gold! Don't forget ol' Limbugger, BooHoo-Beck and Ol'grumpity factor when you do! No? Flying Spaghetti Monster? Hungry alien races? Someone please take them away!