General Discussion

Ichingcarpenter

(36,988 posts) Wed Dec 10, 2014, 08:02 AM Dec 2014

Borowitz Report: Cheney Calls for International Ban on Torture

REPORTS

Sorry couldn't get the whole title in the OP...

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Former Vice-President Dick Cheney on Tuesday called upon the nations of the world to “once and for all ban the despicable and heinous practice of publishing torture reports.”

“Like many Americans, I was shocked and disgusted by the Senate Intelligence Committee’s publication of a torture report today,” Cheney said in a prepared statement. “The transparency and honesty found in this report represent a gross violation of our nation’s values.”

“The publication of torture reports is a crime against all of us,” he added. “Not just those of us who have tortured in the past, but every one of us who might want to torture in the future.”

Saying that the Senate’s “horrifying publication” had inspired him to act, he vowed, “As long as I have air to breathe, I will do everything in my power to wipe out the scourge of torture reports from the face of the Earth.”

Cheney concluded his statement by calling for an international conference on the issue of torture reports. “I ask all the great nations of the world to stand up, expose the horrible practice of publishing torture reports, and say, ‘This is not who we are,’ ” Cheney said.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/cheney-calls-international-ban-torture-reports

15 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Borowitz Report: Cheney Calls for International Ban on Torture (Original Post) Ichingcarpenter Dec 2014 OP

“As long as I have air to breathe," underpants Dec 2014 #1

Maybe they could hold this convension in Geneva? Takket Dec 2014 #2

In a sane world... Live and Learn Dec 2014 #3

Is it a spoof article? ? mylye2222 Dec 2014 #4

Borowitz is a prophet . . . another_liberal Dec 2014 #5

Very close to home, right! Dustlawyer Dec 2014 #13

Andy has a profound sense of absurdity. n/t deafskeptic Dec 2014 #6

War criminals IHateTheGOP Dec 2014 #7

An ex-President who can't leave the country IHateTheGOP Dec 2014 #8

Actually W. Bush did went to S. Africa for attending Mandela funeral. TRoN33 Dec 2014 #10

Dickhead Cheney is of course main culprit for all of torture programs. TRoN33 Dec 2014 #9

Borowitz really hits at an underlying truth of Repubs and Tea baggers rurallib Dec 2014 #11

Everything's OK as long as we don't know about it.. mountain grammy Dec 2014 #12

got me again! oldandhappy Dec 2014 #14

One of my Buddhist exercises was to do tonglen for Dick Cheney. GliderGuider Dec 2014 #15

underpants

(182,839 posts)

1. “As long as I have air to breathe,"

Reply to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)

Wed Dec 10, 2014, 08:16 AM

Dec 2014

Good one Andy

Takket

(21,581 posts)

2. Maybe they could hold this convension in Geneva?

Reply to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)

Wed Dec 10, 2014, 08:19 AM

Dec 2014

Live and Learn

(12,769 posts)

3. In a sane world...

Reply to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)

Wed Dec 10, 2014, 08:41 AM

Dec 2014

But this is not it and Cheney would not be one to lead it.

mylye2222

(2,992 posts)

4. Is it a spoof article? ?

Reply to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)

Wed Dec 10, 2014, 08:47 AM

Dec 2014

Lol!

another_liberal

(8,821 posts)

5. Borowitz is a prophet . . .

Reply to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)

Wed Dec 10, 2014, 08:56 AM

Dec 2014

His lead sentence could be tomorrow's headline. I doubt it not one bit.

Dustlawyer

(10,495 posts)

13. Very close to home, right!

Reply to another_liberal (Reply #5)

Wed Dec 10, 2014, 10:53 AM

Dec 2014

deafskeptic

(463 posts)

6. Andy has a profound sense of absurdity. n/t

Reply to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)

Wed Dec 10, 2014, 09:21 AM

Dec 2014

IHateTheGOP

(1,059 posts)

7. War criminals

Reply to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)

Wed Dec 10, 2014, 10:04 AM

Dec 2014

As I've been saying for years now, Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld should be in prison awaiting execution for war crimes, treason, torture, violations of international law, and violations of the U. S. Constitution. Oh, and by the way, if we need anyone to "pull the switch" I volunteer.

IHateTheGOP

(1,059 posts)

8. An ex-President who can't leave the country

Reply to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)

Wed Dec 10, 2014, 10:06 AM

Dec 2014

We have an ex-President who can't leave the country for fear of being shackled and the repuggies are holding yet ANOTHER hearing on the Benghazi bullshit. Wow.

TRoN33

(769 posts)

10. Actually W. Bush did went to S. Africa for attending Mandela funeral.

Reply to IHateTheGOP (Reply #8)

Wed Dec 10, 2014, 10:21 AM

Dec 2014

TRoN33

(769 posts)

9. Dickhead Cheney is of course main culprit for all of torture programs.

Reply to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)

Wed Dec 10, 2014, 10:20 AM

Dec 2014

He is sadistic person, he would enjoy reading reports about 'terrorists' being in world class of pain.

Water board Cheney and see if his pacemaker can take it all.

rurallib

(62,428 posts)

11. Borowitz really hits at an underlying truth of Repubs and Tea baggers

Reply to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)

Wed Dec 10, 2014, 10:22 AM

Dec 2014

There are lessons to be learned from things like the torturing of prisoners and the report. There were things to be learned from the Viet Nam war and various economic events.

Most people think of the obvious things like - America should not get themselves entangled in foreign adventures like the founders said over and over. But Republicans lesson was to control the media so no one sees the horrors of war.

In economic crises most folks see that the excesses of business and lack of regulation leads to bad consequences. Republicans see that business doesn't have enough latitude to do what they want and the people should give them money to play whatever games they want. Or and once again, keep anyone from seeing what happened.

Same with torture - we as a country have had as an underlying belief that torture doesn't work. This is based on solid evidence. Once more Repubs look at the evidence and say "we need more and worse. and keep it out of the public."

Those are some screwed up heads running that party.

mountain grammy

(26,626 posts)

12. Everything's OK as long as we don't know about it..

Reply to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)

Wed Dec 10, 2014, 10:52 AM

Dec 2014

Borowitz is inside Cheney's head.

oldandhappy

(6,719 posts)

14. got me again!

Reply to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)

Wed Dec 10, 2014, 11:53 AM

Dec 2014

Saw the headline part before the Borowitz name. Yikes. Unfortunately ...

GliderGuider

(21,088 posts)

15. One of my Buddhist exercises was to do tonglen for Dick Cheney.

Reply to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)

Wed Dec 10, 2014, 03:24 PM

Dec 2014

It was a very strange feeling, but ultimately liberating (for me, not sure what it did for him...)

"We begin the practice by taking on the suffering of a person we know to be hurting and who we wish to help. For instance, if you know of a child who is being hurt, you breathe in the wish to take away all the pain and fear of that child. Then, as you breathe out, you send the child happiness, joy or whatever would relieve their pain. This is the core of the practice: breathing in other's pain so they can be well and have more space to relax and open, and breathing out, sending them relaxation or whatever you feel would bring them relief and happiness. However, we often cannot do this practice because we come face to face with our own fear, our own resistance, anger, or whatever our personal pain, our personal stuckness happens to be at that moment."

http://old-shambhala.shambhala.org/teac.../pema/tonglen1.php

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