Alcohol doesn't have to control you.

proves very difficult.

I am so very sorry elehhhhna.

alcoholism is a horrible disease

In 2011 just two months shy of his 41st birthday

I still can't believe he's gone

my first thought upon hearing his death was, "I'll never have to worry about him again."

The addiction that killed him was to drugs, not booze (got HIV shooting up), but I was glad that he was finally out of pain and I didn't have to worry about if he had a roof over his head at night anymore -- he spent periods homeless (his SSI check was hardly enough to get an apartment). He'd self-medicated for emotional pain his entire life, and then physical pain later on... at least the agony in his life was at an end. Just wish the price to stop his pain wasn't so high.

that price is very high indeed, as our pain does not really end

With my brother, he was in and out of the hospital many times for at least two years, so we sort of knew where it would end.


A month before he died he left Mass to go stay with our youngest sister and our mom, both of whom live in Florida. Our mom was there when he was born, and she was there when he died.

But yeah, I still often have the same thought as you...at least we won't have to worry about him anymore. Although each time I hear of someone being injured or killed in a motorcycle accident my first thought is, "OH NO!!!" Then I remember...

He would always say that everyone would be better off if he weren't around. I don't think he ever realized how much pain his leaving would cause us all.

I saw him a couple of months before he died - I thought he looked a bit disheveled but I would have never guessed he was dying.....he was jaundiced, got a nosebleed and bled to death (my mum found him).....very sad....he was 11 months older than me

When I was a kid I watched this happen to our neighbor lady. Loving mom of 3. Her kids were our best friends and we were in and out of each other's houses all day long, while she drank (mostly beer) all day. She died in the exact same way, around the same age. This was in the 70's. I remember her going to the hospital to "dry out" (the term of the day); she'd start drinking again as soon as she got home.
Today we know so much more about addiction, and there's much more help available. But you have to want to stop.

I'm sorry for you and those who love your friend.

And, I'm sorry for the loss of others who have lost loved ones due to addiction.

Sorry for makiing everything political, but he seems like an orange tinted drunk.

rather than a red one.

anything other than spray tan or self- bronzer. I can see that you thought I meant it that way. I just always refer to Boehner as the orange weepy guy.

My stepfather was on the transplant list after suffering two bleedouts from esophageal varices. The docs told him if he kept drinking it was the same thing as choosing to die. He decided to quit, and after a year his liver function has recovered enough that he's no longer on the list, though is still on medication.

Wishing your friend the best, and you as well. Not to sound preachy, but I'm a big fan of the Al-Anon Family Groups -- Al-Anon is not just for spouses of alcoholics, but anyone who is impacted by someone else's drinking. If you need to speak with people who know what you're going through... just a thought.

Take care.

We've been in family group since our daughter "did" rehab in 2011 at 14. She's still sober and working a program like a boss!. So I know abut letting it go etc. but it's hard. Recovery's not for sissies. Saw two miracles this year - a close friend and a young man I know got sober, but the losses are wrenching.

and so many go back out there. Alanon does help. My sister has been to three AA funerals this year. It's a tough disease.

But there was a lot of talk about turning to God for help so the group didn't help me deal with the problem, since I am not a religious person.

My brother destroyed his once perfectly good health and died of a sudden stroke at age 66. He was in a nursing home at the time and had been going downhill for some time. He didn't drink then but they let him smoke!

My mother died 10 months later. I don't think she ever got over his death...

and yet this invisible supernatural being ostensibly either caused or failed to prevent the problem in the first place...Makes.No.Sense.

They operated on him all day and got the tumors out and bypasses in over a yr ago. He's on chemo now. He has nothing but praise for how the VA has treated him.

If he didn't drink himself to death, he came seriously close. If it could happen to him, it could happen to anyone.

old - younger than I am now. I have always wondered why I was never interested in drinking.

I know many here don't believe in a Higher Power, but I really heard the words from the Our Father one day -

"Save us from the time of trial

and deliver us from evil. "

realized I'd been saying that prayer all my life, and think I may have had my prayer answered.

Alcohol can be a gift or a curse.

I'm sorry that your friend is going through that and sorry that you're having to watch it. My prayers are with you.