Amazing how quickly and painlessly the end can come when the coverage runs out....oh, wait: no more lifetime caps!
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We really need to take the profit motive out of health care.

in your Science Experiment to see how long you can keep me alive." My Mom said that 25 years ago before she saw an attorney, made out her Living Will, etc., and went into a hospital to die. She was 75 and had cancer.

Obamacare and Death Panels? If you have lived that long, you know your own mind. Leave it up to the INDIVIDUAL to determine how much end of life care THEY want. I am 66 now and feel the same way as my Mom did. Her death was how SHE wanted.

but the families won't let go

It overrides family wishes.

It's a favor to them, really.

Nobody wants to risk a lifetime of wondering if it was the right thing to do.

I was asked and allowed my stepfather to live longer than he probably should have, but I didn't want years of wonder if it was the right thing to do or not had I let them let him go.

Odd feeling, for hospital staff to ask you, under their breath, if I want to let him go...

That is what my mother did when she was in her 80s. No artificial life support, no machines, no nothing except for pain management and palliative care. I agreed completely with her wishes and was given power of attorney to enforce them. At 86 she was diagnosed with a large, slow-growing colon tumor and she absolutely refused surgery. A few months later she slept peacefully away.

GET IT IN WRITING, PEOPLE! Then no one can dispute it.

for him. They were testing him to see how he was functioning and when they finally gathered all the information they called all of the family together and told us that he could be kept alive on supports but he would never again function like before. Most of us immediately were ready to let him go because we knew he would not want to live that way. His wife took longer but in the end everyone felt better that he was not going to live in a vegetative state.

He did not have a living will and we were extremely fortunate to have all agreed to the need for taking the supports off. He died that night.

I and my disabled daughter have living wills. The one exception I have made for her is a feeding tube in the stomach. She was born with a digestive problem but it meant that she would slowly starve to death. She was 35 years old and only weighed 50 pounds. The tube has allowed her to gain weight and live until 55. Her doctor says that her vitals are so good he is considering putting a tube in all his patients.

Talk to your elderly members before it is too late and Don't forget yourself - my brother was not expecting to die. Most of us are not. But it happens.

Mom and dad had living wills, both passed last year.

Dad's was a natural death after serious decline, it was years earlier that I was asked about saving him.

It wasn't so much about life extended life support- he had water on the brain and had suffered a seizure and they seemed to be asking me whether or not to even try to pull him out if he seized again.

Mom went a few months later, by choice, through hospice.

I've seen it happen a lot. Time becomes precious even for the suffering. I may not make the same decision myself but I can't help admire some peoples' courage.

...because of the intensity of their denial. the Terri Schiavo case being the most famous, obviously, because the Right saw an opportunity to use Schiavo's relatives' denial to score political points.

For our parents, children, ourselves, it's a topic that's difficult to avoid.

We'd all love to pass in our sleep, avoid prolonged stays in long term care facilities in pain and under medications, using up all fund in the estate or becoming a financial burden on others.

The aging of Americans coupled with increasingly sophisticated and costly medical resources, spells fiscal and ethical trouble, there's no way around it.

Take care and thanks again.

He had a living will, and yet the doctor asked me if I wanted to override my Dads wishes. Evidently in Arkansas a family member can go against the wishes of the person with a LW. When I told the doctor I would not go against what my father wanted, he gave me a look that clearly stated he thought I was a murderer.
Even if my Dad didn't have a living will, I would not allow doctors to extend his life. I went through that with my Mother. They insisted on treatment ( chemo and radiation ) even though they knew her brain cancer was not survivable. And lied to her and us about her chances of survival.
Its all about the almighty dollar. And we live in a country where we show more compassion for our animals when it comes to end of life!

my husband into Hospice care, AKA, the easing-out.

First Christmas without him.

a haven for me.

My family has been through end of life decisions three times - for my oldest sister, my brother in law and my father. My sister set the example for all of us. She made her decision to not prolong her life past a certain point and communicated it to her doctors and to the entire family while she was still able.

My brother in law went through treatments but once he realized his quality of life was gone, he stopped all treatment and went into hospice care. My Dad fought to live but once he was not longer aware the family put in into hospice care and let him go. They made it so much easier for the rest of us by making their choices so we didn't have to.

As a result of all these cases, every time I have gone into surgery (9 times since 2001) I have updated my Living Will, let my family know of my choices, and made sure every doctor and facility involved knew my wishes. My Mom at 93 has made her choices and her living will is on the refrigerator, well marked so any of her caretakers can find it and give it to any first responders.

In addition to having a living will (or advanced directive), everyone should designate a health care advocate to enforce their choices and to help monitor their care. It's easy to find the forms for living wills and health care advocates online. AARP has a page about them (http://www.aarp.org/relationships/caregiving-resource-center/info-11-2010/lfm_living_will_and_health_care_power_of_attorney.html) and links to forms for each state: http://www.aarp.org/relationships/caregiving/info-03-2012/free-printable-advance-directives.html

for trying to hang on for so long to her severely brain traumatized son.

She cannot forgive herself for allowing him to suffer for so long.

One should never trust one's relatives to have the clarity of mind to not go into denial and try to keep a person alive beyond all reason.