Love it.

Cop: Do you know you doing 85 miles per hour.

Heisenberg: No, but I know where I am.

Of course my more up to date take on the joke would be:

Heisenberg flies by a cop doing 85 mph in a 55 mph zone.

The cop pulls him over and shoots him dead.

The Heisenberg Grand Jury Certainty Principle states that it was certainly a justified killing.

Q. What does the "B" in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for?

A. Benoit B Mandelbrot

Heisenberg was a theoretical physicist and came up with the uncertainty principle, which essentially states that you can not simultaneously know both the position and momentum of an particle.

At first I thought it was funny. But then I overthought it and realised that at the point the cop stopped him, his momentum and his uncertainty drop to zero, so the joke doesn't work

"You mean right now?"

What, relative to ...

a. the center of the Earth?
b. the Sun?
c. the center of the galaxy?

--You see, you don't need to get there fast if you are there already!

they didn't get it. Maybe tomorrow I'll have to try it on the guys at work...

i was not going over the speed limit.

i *am* the speed limit.