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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region Forums'And So It Begins': 90-Year-Old Glenn Beck Points to Bundy Standoff as 'Turning Point' In US History
Right Wing Watch http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/and-so-it-begins-90-year-old-glenn-beck-delivers-dire-message-future reports that Glenn Beck dedicated his program last night to an end-of-the-year recap in which a 90-year-old bearded Glenn Beck, apparently living in the bunker of one of his dystopian visions and looking a lot like Grand Maester Pycelle, "recorded a dire message from the future about how 2014 was the year in which the whole world fell apart." Beck doesn't just don a costumehe acts with his beard, people.
Living alone in an abandoned building with only a few tiny candles and a small fire for light and heat, future Beck somehow managed to scrounge up some batteries and video cameras with which to record his message. And even though the world in 2054 is apparently short on food and fuel and energy and everything else, future Beck still somehow managed to obtain stockpiles of footage from news programs that aired forty years earlier and even had the capacity to edit those clips into his dire message about how everything from Ebola, to ISIS, to the Federal Reserve all brought about the complete collapse of capitalism and society starting in 2014. And what caused the world to fall apart? What was the inciting incident around which society collapsed and chaos reigned? Why, the Cliven Bundy ranch standoff. Neat. But the joy is really in the telling of the tale, in Beck's dedication to character, setting, mood and histrionics. Humanity's greatest achievement is a soldier getting married to his sweetheart; its greatest tragedy is the missing Malaysian Airlines flight. Will Wilkinson transcribed his epic speech, which is worth reading word for word:
'Forty years ago, 2014, your history books claim, that was the year of the dawn of progressivism! The dawn of a new beginning! The end of capitalism! Ill tell you know that it was that. That this new era of equality, and diversity and tolerance I beg to differ with your history book! Forget your books! I was there! I saw it! I remember 2014, I remember four words that came to me There was a clash of the evil tea partiers. There was a clash on a ranch in the middle of the country. A man said he had a right to his own land. It was at that time that I heard, and Ill never forget it in my prayers, four words: And. So. It. Begins. Over and over again I saw it, over and over again I heard it. I was like Nebuchadnezzar without Daniel Sorry. You probably dont even know what that means. Right. Im not crazy. I was naive, but I was not crazy.'
Aside from the fact that Beck uses clips of himself as evidence of this coming apocalypse, the best is the bit about Nebuchadnezzar. Beck clearly didn't have time to fit in just how godless America has become in this wasteland future, but he had to make sure he got this across. His agonized line reading literally made me giggle with glee. As Wilkinson put it:
The bewhiskered ghost of Glenn Beck future apologizes for his biblical reference because why? Because the Bureau of Land Management was not brutally overthrown, and so the Bible has become illegal? Who knows! Who cares! This is art, people. Becks historical-reenactor-from-the-dystopian-future scenery-chewing raises the bar for avant garde thespians everywhere. We look forward to the day Beck finally drops his act and reveals that he is a huge Bright Eyes fan that contributes to Planned Parenthood, so that we can give him the Nebuchadnezzar Lifetime Achievement Award In Acting. http://gothamist.com/2014/12/20/video_glenn_beck_is_the_new_stephen.php
Tierra_y_Libertad
(50,414 posts)True Blue Door
(2,969 posts)He's a crumb-riddled beard and an "End Is Near" sandwich board away from screeching Bible verses on a street corner.
Quantess
(27,630 posts)I can't wait to watch this when I can turn on audio. He's such a bloated windbag.
big_dog
(4,144 posts)except that Beck thinks that he is serious
Quantess
(27,630 posts)Stephen Colbert is quick witted and is successful at making the viewers understand.
I have (unfortunately) seen Glenn Beck enough times to know he just spouts rabid jibberish much of the time. I don't get him at all, but I sort of like it when he goes into full-blown-psycho mode.
underpants
(182,877 posts)$13/month for his TV station (he gave it away for free as a teaser). He has 3 million monthly subscribers (they are out there).
= $39 Million per month in revenue.
HappyMe
(20,277 posts)new level of nutty.
hifiguy
(33,688 posts)but is not quite as smart.
Capt.Rocky300
(1,005 posts)Prophet 451
(9,796 posts)I'm now of the opinion that Beck is legitimately and seriously mentally ill. He should be in a nice quiet ward somewhere where they'll force him to take his meds. But his grandiosity prevent him realizing that he's unwell and his family and staff rely too much on the gravy train his out-of-control diatribes bring in. In essence, they're pushing an unmedicated schizophrenic out in front of the cameras so the public can laugh and point as he soils himself and screams at clouds.
hifiguy
(33,688 posts)where the nuts hunt the squirrels.
jberryhill
(62,444 posts)The classic dilemma.
Brickbat
(19,339 posts)And you, sir, etc.