I don't know that I would do such a move, simply because I would find uprooting my entire life to move suddenly (and to live there for an extended period - iirc at least in one of the Death with Dignity states, you have to be a resident for something like 6 months first, and also spend a period of time having multiple psychological interviews) traumatic, and also because I have the medical knowledge to end my own life painlessly and quickly without assistance.

On the other hand, just as with most other issues of modern life, the states that have or are likely to have such laws any time soon are going to be blue states that largely support citizens throughout their entire lives, and as such are probably better states to live in than red states.

Are you saying you can stay where you are and still make the choice, with dignity and respect?

If you are unable to stay where you are and do what you want, I would say to move. I assume there are regulations as to how long you would have to live in the State you choose before you can use the laws that allow for the humane choice. But maybe there are ways around it. Maybe a way you can be a part-time resident so you only need to have a small, decent apartment without the upheaval of an actual move.

Whatever you do, how ever you do it, you have my support and, I would assume, the support of all of us that respect you.

Any help you need that I can give, I am here for you. You're such a strong person. You are an inspiration to me and so many others.

Unless you have something fool-proof in that regard in mind, moving would be best.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]No squirrels were harmed in the making of this post. Yet.[/center][/font][hr]

But it all depends on who you have as a doctor. If they are willing to give Marta the means to let you go peacefully into the next phase, then that should be ok, if she is willing. I had to help my mother along at the end of her terminal cancer, and fortunately we had a very understanding doctor who provided the means. But I have to say it was the most god-awfull time of my life, the hardest thing I have ever been through.

It may be easier, even with the disruptions, to move to a place where others can help do the most difficult things.

I have always liked your posts and will miss them.

I'm ready to go and can figure out why I haven't.

But Steve, will they give you medication to the end that will kill pain? Pain is the real problem that most of us can't tolerate. Dying quickly when it's not expected is a blessing, even tho it's very hard on your loved ones.

If they keep you relatively pain-free, and they are not worrying about your becoming addicted, it would help US if you stayed as long as possible, identify the Disease and symptoms, and the what stage you are in.

Sometimes I wish they didn't tell us "you have only so long to live," tho it helps settle affairs for your loved ones.

And the week after you die, a cure or surgical procedure might appear that will help you. This is probably a preposterous dream, but anything can happen.

About moving, you have to make the choice, and WHATEVER you decide is your call. There's benefits to staying in familiar surroundings, and benefits in moving. Stay with us as long as you can and keep us informed..

I understand not wanting to leave home, but being allowed to make choices that won't cause trouble for your family may be difficult in Nebraska.

For what it's worth, Oregon is beautiful.

My Dad was a physician for 50+ years. When he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, we discussed this topic, and I learned a great deal from those discussions.

One question physicians will often use in determining what sort of end-of-life care you want will be phrased something like this: "If I have to choose between keeping you comfortable, even if it shortens your life, is this what you want me to do?". Many physicians will also prescribe barbituates and/or hypnotics to you, upon request, even if they darned well know or suspect why you want them.

thank you for posting and keeping it in the conversation...

They may have some ideas. Some Drs will leave pain pills at home for patients.
If enough are taken they will cause death. In my friend's death ( in Wy) the pain pills she was given would simply put her to sleep and that was the end.

As a former Hospice social worker, who adores hospice, do not ever talk to Hospice staff about plans to intentionally end your life. The organization is very much against what they term assisted suicide, and if you are a patient and express such ideas they will hustle you off to an ER faster than you can say "no, wait, I changed my mind." I used to warn people of this upfront at intake, because I strongly disagree with the policy but was of course obliged to follow it.

They were very receptive to her wishes and the pills were left there by her dr for that use. However there was no hope, she could not eat or drink and death was probably only days away but those are long days if your in that position.

Totally, yes. And I'm glad they helped her go peacefully.

But I'm pretty sure Steve is hoping not to get that point in his disease process. And for that, Hospice is NOT the way to go.

Even when actively dying, some will not help.

she, my mom and her hospice nurses discussed what level of pain control was fatal and under what circumstances she wanted that level administered. Nobody was shy about it, but nobody took out an ad in the paper announcing it, either.

If your state allows hospice to provide pain-free end of life care, then staying put might be the best answer.

If the state doesn't allow that, or if you want to choose the time of your passing, then moving to another state might be the best choice.

Talk frankly with your doctor and meet with hospice.

I think the death with dignity should be available everywhere but I know in many fundy states it is not likely to get passed anytime soon.

Whatever you decide, I hope whatever time you have left is filled with happiness.

i.e., a friend, not a doc that's treating you? If so, I'd sit down with them and have a discussion on what might be done in your state? You may be able to find something workable. Perhaps even more than for most professions, docs talk much differently to drinking buddies than to "customers".

If you want, I have some doctor friends here in Mass who I could bounce this off of to see if they know "friendlies" local to you who you might talk to - just let me know, not a big deal for me to do, I owe them calls anyway. I can't guarantee that I'll find anything useful, but I might.

Goddess bless you Steve. You're not only an incredible asset to this site, a model DUer who works in information and good cheer rather than personal attacks and other nonsense, you're teaching us all something important as you work with your disease.

Peace to you.

- Manny

Texas doesn't have an aid in dying law, but I have an "arrangement" with my long-time primary care doctor. We've discussed the issue, and we both understand each other perfectly, and he knows what I'd like him to do should the time come and I make the request. He's agreeable.

for at least a year in order to qualify under their Death with Dignity act.

If you do choose to move, you might want to look in that.

You need to do what will make you be at peace.

I've watched too many friends die of protracted illness -- one just recently -- and don't want to go that way.

Yes, they can pump you full of painkillers, but I'd rather go out with a relatively clear mind and in possession of my faculties.

Good luck with whatever decision you make.

First, I'm sorry to hear about your situation; my father went through the same terminal prognosis, and I can't imagine how anyone faces that going forward.

Second, from my understanding about the situation with my FIL, while Compassion and Choices may be able to advise on local options in any jurisdiction, one distinct feature of a "Death With Dignity" State is the ability of others to assist. In other States, having someone prepare a dosage (or even prescribe one), might be a criminal action. If you should discuss this matter with them, I would suggest you ask them to explain the implications for anyone else involved or even present.

He's been named a "top doc" in the country and in the city more than once. He is now having to defend himself in civil court because a patient killed herself. He was investigated by the cops. It's a very difficult thing for a doctor in a state that cares more about religion than humanity.

Though I know there are compassionate doctors that will help. I just highly doubt they can actually say it.

I hope you, your wife and your family are doing well

You are a wonderful person for thinking about Marta's position too. Not many people in your situation can do that. I wish you the very very best.