The Long And Dickish History Of Tom Cotton (R-Dick) (barf bags suggested)

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The Long And Dickish History Of Tom Cotton (R-Dick)

"You know the thing about a shark, he's got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white."



Skinny-necked fuckwit Sen. Tom Cotton has gotten all sorts of press lately for his lame audition to write for Wonkette.


Luckily there is a whole archive of Cotton’s writing online over at the Harvard Crimson, where the newest prominent example of American psychopathy served on the editorial board during his tender undergrad years in the late 1990s. Based on his work, Cotton seems to have been just as much of a callow, narrow-minded, jingoistic, chest-thumping, self-righteous, brain-dead cretin as he is today. The difference is that he went back to his native Arkansas and got a whole bunch of like-minded hog-fucking idiot cretins to elect him to be America’s most important voice on foreign policy. See, this is what happens when you have a president dumb enough to want to keep the Union together.


Here are some of his writings, in no particular order and wildly out of context. Though trust us, in context Cotton still comes off as one of those snotty pseudo-intellectual types who always wore a bathrobe to walk to the shower and complained to the R.A. when someone down the hall played Nirvana albums too loud.

Plato, Aristotle, Cicero, Dante, Copernicus, Shakespeare, Descartes, Newton, Rousseau, Kant, Darwin, Dickens, Tolstoy and Nietzsche.

Is this a hit-list for those who hate dead white males? Maybe so, but it is also a short (and not at all exhaustive) list of authors one does not have to read to graduate from Harvard. One must wonder, what ever happened to a humane education?

Well, it fell victim to political correctness, puerile students and weak-willed administrators.

We just noticed you can’t spell Cotton without Otto. New nickname achieved!

Far from it. Even if Bill Clinton did not break the letter of the law, he stomped all over the spirit. Indeed, he confirms the adage that politicians believe with undying fervor in two causes–themselves and their ideology, in that order. It seems likely that Clinton would have done anything within the letter of the law to secure victory for himself and his agenda.

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Read more at http://wonkette.com/579273/the-long-and-dickish-history-of-tom-cotton-r-dick#cc0z7LFdaTqhOqGo.99