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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsI jus now figgerd evvrthing out.
Ill tell you whats ruining America. Smart people. Theyre whats causing all our problems. Just think for a minute. Well, OK, think is a little much. Turn on your hate juices and let your guts churn for a minute or two here. Who dreamed up this global warming stuff? Right. Smart people. Goddam scientists and whatnot. There would be no global warming nonsense if it werent for those busybody smart people.
And the health care mess. Thats totally the fault of the smart people. I mean, if all those smart people hadnt gotten involved, there wouldnt be any health care to speak of in the first place, let alone a government trying to shove it down our throats. You cut yourself, you chew some leaves and paste them over the cut, right? Dont need some complicated government program for that.
Teaching evolution? Special rights for homosexuals? Separation of Church and State? Right. Smart people again. Youre starting to get the picture, arent you?
Here are the steps you can take to help fight smart people.
First, home school your kids. In addition, if you use the Bible as your only textbook, you can pretty much guarantee your kids will never turn into Smart People.
Second, try to help other people avoid turning their kids into Smart People. Always vote against school referendums, and vote for the most conservative candidates for the local school board.
Third, always remember that rich people and corporations are your friends. They, too, want to keep the government from interfering in your life and trying to better your conditions. That is one reason why private schools are best for all children: They are run by corporations, and they are specially designed to prevent their students from turning into Smart People.
A daily dose of at least two hours of Rush Limbaugh will help you avoid becoming a Smart Person, particularly if you add at least a weekly dose of Glenn Beck.
You must always be on guard against being infected by Smart thinking.
Here is a quick little test you can take to keep tabs on yourself. Just circle the number from 1 to 5 depending on how much you agree or disagree:
1) Fox News is fair and balanced. Disagree..1..2..3..4..5..Agree
2) God wants Ted Cruz to be President. Disagree..1..2..3..4..5..Agree
3) In the old days, people rode dinosaurs. Disagree..1..2..3..4..5..Agree
Add up the numbers you circled. Any score less than 12 means that you are in danger of catching Smartness and need to listen to Gordon Liddy in addition to Rush. If your score gets as low as 10, you should immediately contact your sponsor in the Tea Party and arrange to receive an immediate infusion of irrational rage.
trumad
(41,692 posts)CaliforniaPeggy
(149,692 posts)hifiguy
(33,688 posts)Everything is the fault of us damned smart people.
I. R. Baboon agrees
awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)damn smart people.
Jackpine Radical
(45,274 posts)TexasProgresive
(12,158 posts)awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)kydo
(2,679 posts)If you take that spatula (which was probably made in Kenya which might be in Sicily - what do I know all non white peeps look the same, at least to me), any ho take that Kenyan made spatula and swirl it about in the cheese a bit the face of Mohammad appears, or made its Obama, what ever its got a Muslim face so its Muslim.
damn Muslims stealing our American pizza pies.
I think all that thinking made me hungry... maybe I will order some pizza.
KansDem
(28,498 posts)strawberries
(498 posts)delicious!
TexasProgresive
(12,158 posts)strawberries
(498 posts)out for the fridge or the oven
brer cat
(24,598 posts)malaise
(269,157 posts)Rec
rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)jk
freebrew
(1,917 posts)"Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do."
Elmer S. E. Dump
(5,751 posts)Burn the fuckers at the stake.
NightWatcher
(39,343 posts)You are 100% right and 0% wrong on that one, JR.
tclambert
(11,087 posts)The Declaration of Independence and the Constitution were obviously put together by smarty smart people with really good penmanship. If not for those smart people busybodies, we could still be happy English colonists, singing God save the Queen!
(God save our gracious Queen,
Best queen I've ever seen,
God save the Queen.
Noble and virtuous,
And seldom scandalous,
From every mountainside,
God save the Queen.)
appalachiablue
(41,170 posts)Last edited Sun Mar 22, 2015, 04:03 PM - Edit history (1)
Brits hated Jacobins and TJ especially, for good reason. Great post Jac.
blkmusclmachine
(16,149 posts)RobertEarl
(13,685 posts)The tv is on and I can't think and watch tv at the same time.
And like you sayed... if you don't think about it, nothing's wrong, it's all right, far right. Right on!
passiveporcupine
(8,175 posts)AZ Progressive
(3,411 posts)Smurtnes wil kil us al! An dem smurt ppl r al hedunz! WWWAAA!!! 8o
sadoldgirl
(3,431 posts)It is them eggheads who are guilty. Also them stupid guys
with good memries. Oh shucks, I knew there was an
Agnew words for them.
raven mad
(4,940 posts)Oh, and on the quick little test, I got a "3"....................... LOL! This is great!