There always will be insensitive morons among us. Pity them in their stupidity. Most are beyond hope. Fact of life #3,465

The other day I was about to help my 92-year-old mother into the passenger seat of my car when the asshole parked next to me decided he couldn't wait 10 seconds and literally shoved us aside as he opened his door, jumped in, and backed out with us still standing there wedged between the cars. What kind of an inconsiderate jerk treats an elderly person that way? All I kept thinking was he had to be a Republican.

Reading that just thoroughly went right through me.

What a first class jerk.

All I can say here is.....karma.

many more reports of incidents like this lately. People are rushed, working, struggling and more concerned with themselves and less for others. Basic human selfishness is no excuse but indicative of the times and growing disregard for weaker and vulnerable people in favor of the 'winners'. It's no doubt assisted by vicious RW hate radio/internet talkers screaming about welfare fatties, lazy govt. workers and others viewed as undeserving. Sorry this happened, glad you have each other and that you take good care of your mother. I did the same for mine who I miss very much. The man was a pig, and I'd agree that he's a republican (although there can be some arrogant, obnoxious and rude Dems. Rahm Emanuel types come to mind).

jerks like this guy are a dime a dozen. He was driving a new BMW and his attitude was basically "Get the hell out of my way." Many of these people are big shots in the entertainment industry where rudeness, arrogance, and entitlement are a way of life. Unfortunately, you mostly get used to it and expect it, but that guy was beyond the beyond.

that they are being hurtful. They most likely do not intend to hurt anyone's feelings, and are unaware that they have done so. But, being insensitive probably also requires being a little oblivious, too, I suppose.

Apologies to you for the hurtful ignorance.

That is very relevant. If you are a Senior and they tell you need need such and such a surgery, but it will leave you disabled (how much?) and you will be bedridden (or worse), cannot do this or that, would you still say the same when you have already lived your life into old age? Do you agree that this should be a choice of the adult person, and has nothing to do with disabilities cited in your post.

You cannot live the human experience without being taken care of during some point in your life. Babies, the elderly, the sick, the disabled. If we did not take care of each other during these times in our lives the human species could not survive. I mean honestly who ever looks at a cancer patient and says maybe you should die? I have a genetic mutation that puts me at great risk for getting cancer, and if I do get cancer I realize it will be difficult for my family to deal with physically, emotionally, financially. But I also know how much they want me around and how much I would want them around if any of them got really sick, so I would fight to live even if it meant that I was a "burden." I do believe in end of life rights. I voted for the WA law that allows for the terminally ill to end their life with dignity, but I also believe that sick and disabled people should be allowed to live in dignity also. There is nothing wrong with allowing people to take care of you.

someone taking care of me.

I think people fear the loss of control and independence.

I'm very ambivalent about assisted suicide. I have little doubt that it *will* be misused, sooner or later, despite its proponents' insistence that it can't happen.

My autustic daughter loves life. I feel the same way about the vaccine thing. Rather their child die from a preventable illness because of fear of Autism.

I knew I liked you. I, too, am an Autistic person who loves life.

Did you know? We have our own group at DU:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1145

I'm an older lady now. 2 kids, both girls, 5 and 9.
I had no idea there was a group on here. I'll join up. Thank you.
P.S. I like you too.

Hmmm. Mutual like. Do you ever get Outside?

I'm pretty much stuck here. You mean outside like lower 48 'outside' or just outside?
I did not know the lingo.
She was at the point where just getting her ready to leave the house was an hour long process with behaivioral incidents the entire time. She can finally get through the whole day at school without me picking her up. I feel progress. She talks a bit more now. It's kinda rough sometimes. I was supposed to join a support group but she just harasses the sitter or my mom the entire time until I get back. They cannot take it. She REALLY likes me. A lot.

She is getting so much better. Are you talking about that um, "Blue's Festival"? The one with the medicinal herbals?

And I'm in San Jose.

steps toward progress feel good. I will always remember the first time my son wrote I love mom. We were actually at a doctor's office and there was a white board he was writing on just to pass the time. He wrote I love mom, and I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. How old is your daughter?

And yes, every little step feels like a mile. I noticed yesterday that we rerely hear her crying anymore about random stuff. If she's is upset now, we can figure out the problem. It used to be much more frustrating. And she love art, so i just buy watercolors, acrylics, brushes, paper, crayons, yarn, etc. Once I started keeping lots of ar stuff in the house, she started behaiving. I can get her to do anything now if I promise to buy her some more paint. It nice.
The little things that are different about these kids are the things that make you love them so much. It feels rewarding. Nothing is easy but when we get there, we got it. I promised if she behaves at school next year, we can go to disney land when she's 10.

so much."
You are so right about that. That is cool that she is is into art and learning self regulation. Once my son learned coping mechanisms his tantrums stopped. Now he laughs most of the day. He loves comedy, and his occupational therapist said he would do well in acting classes. He is also getting into art and writing because he likes to write action stories and is taking art in school so he can make drawings to go along with his stories. Writing is where he lags the most in school so to see him interested in writing makes me happy.

I work with the disabled, and what I found for many of the people I spend time with is that quality of life is highly dependent on purpose. I see people with profound physical and mental challenges who are not just content, but actively happy because they have something in their life from which they derive great meaning. Some write or pursue music or participate in the community.

A lot of able bodied people don't have that. They just go through the daily motions. So, to them, being impaired in some way is the worst thing imaginable. It would deprive them of their daily mindlessness. Some people are content to be on auto pilot.

There is no autopilot for any disability. Every day is a choice and a challenge to move forward and derive from life everything they can.

This may be the only life and consciousness we get in the universe. The idea of wasting it because of difficulties or challenges is thoughtless, and sharing that kind of psychic nihilism with someone who's fighting to live their life is off-handedly cruel. People are buh sometimes.

As I watched my mother become disabled and then bedridden from cancer and chemo, I learned that saying "I would rather die than ______" is utterly meaningless until you are faced with the actual situation. Finding the joy and meaning in life can be the hardest task of all, and being disabled does not prevent one from doing it.

I can't believe someone would say such a thing. I know they are probably scared, as I am, to contemplate the challenges that come with disability. But giving anything other than respect, support, kindness and compassion to someone because of that fear is just blind stupidity.

you said it!

I mean, come on, someone can't exit their bubble for ten seconds to think about the emotional and mental well-being of someone else? It's highly slappable commentary.

And yes, it is. People need to learn to have more empathy.

out of your mindless, auto pilot comfort zone. If you want to be happy, you have to chose to be happy. I have a legally blind husband and an autistic son and both find ways to be happy. My son has an incredible sense of humor, and my husband enjoys finding ways he can help those around him.

Exactly that. A lot of people facing challenges in life have taught that lesson.

Very well said.

I have chronic fatigue, there are people with chronic back pain, people with chronic mental health issues, and probably a dozen other things that are not apparent when you look at someone. Making things even more difficult is that these issues are not always at a level that will keep someone from working, but most of them make work very hard and leave the person with the condition in a state that all they can do is work and sleep. There is no quality of life during off work hours. There is no sympathy that I can see for disabilities and one party actively wants to kill us. So when someone says they would rather die than be disabled I think they have a gut feeling that the situation for disabled people is very precarious and they don't want to face that.

So, yes it's a rude thing to say. But, it's also an acknowledgement that there is no safety net if you are incapacitated and can't work. Or you can work, but do nothing else and could be at the mercy of friends and family to help you with other basic functions like getting groceries because you don't have the energy after working to get them yourself.

frustrating and it has taken me decades to figure out how to accept that this is not going away. I don't give up trying to do things. I am going back to college, but it will always be a challenge. I try to remember that even if I don't accomplish what I set out to do, each day is still beautiful just as it is, accomplishments or not.

I am still having a hard time accepting it's not going to go away. I tried going back to school I finished a two year degree and got in a year towards a Bachelor's degree, but I won't be able to finish it because I had a relapse. It was 3 weeks before the end of the last semester I went so during the time I needed to study for finals and turn in a lot of term papers. It was pretty horrible all I did at that time was go to class struggle to stay awake find places to sleep on campus and write papers. So, now I am trying to get over not being able to finish. I am going to grow tomatoes instead and try to get out at least once a day for a short walk.

In any case even if you are just dealing with sleepiness alone that is a hard thing. I would be happy if the only symptom that I got rid of was the fatigue. All the others like pain don't bother me nearly as much and would have little impact if I had the energy to do what I want to do. It's not to say those symptoms aren't severe and have no impact, but they can be managed somewhat with painkillers and being careful with what I eat.

Not just the symptoms which match up with everything I have been telling everyone for years, but the problems with the medical health system as well. And a lot of people do say things like "Well I get tired too." Guess what before this happened I also got tired too, but it didn't knock me out for hours just standing up for 15 minutes to do the dishes.

on this topic, identifying the physical manifestations that so many doctors pooh-poohed and said were all in the patients' heads. If you pass out during a tilt table test, you're a sufferer. Orthostatic hypotension (standing in one place, getting lightheaded, even passing out--or getting irritable when standing in a line) is a classic feature of the condition. That is a component of the "exhaustion" you feel.

I have met the good doctor--smart guy. He "gets" it. You're not crazy--you don't "need a shrink," it's a real condition and they don't yet know how to fix it. It can be managed, though, to some extent. You'll never get it all back, though, and that's something you have to kind of deal with.

Not medical advice, but a suggestion that might help you if you don't have one already--invest in a barcolounger. A GOOD one. One that is wide, comfortable, is easy to recline (electric if you really want to be jazzy and don't lose power often) and that you can sleep in, if needs must. Be like Archie Bunker with that chair--it's YOURS. No one else's. That is a non-negotiable point. Key to management of the condition is RESTORATIVE sleep and the more comfortable you can make yourself, the better off you will be. The chair will put you in a position with the least pressure on your body and it will put your feet up above your heart which is a good way to crash. Keep a warm, long blanket close to hand and make sure you cover your feet--the warmer you are, the easier it is to sleeeeeeeeeeeep. Every time you get a good round of sleep, pat yourself on the back. Make it a goal to sleep WELL. Make sure everyone around you knows that it is vital to your well-being, more so than the average person.

Also, don't do anything you don't want to do. Don't "feel obligated," don't over-extend yourself, and learn to say NO. No, NO, NO!!! After the first hundred times, it gets easier! Eat well, be selfish--sounds self-centered, but you absolutely have to take care of yourself first, because if you don't, you will be of no use to anyone else--I'm sure you know all this but sometimes it's nice to get reinforcement.

It's not a walk in the park--the only way to manage it is to put yourself first.

http://solvecfs.org/research/cfidsaa-research-program-for-researchers/neuromuscular-strain-in-cfs/

By temporarily disabled, I mean a broken leg or broken arm, etc.

You will see that an alarming number of people are totally inconsiderate and thoughtless! There seem to be more inconsiderate strangers than considerate ones, unfortunately.

It really changes your perspective when you are the "disabled" one, temporary as the "disability" may be. If more people had to hobble around for a few weeks, they may become more considerate to people with disabilities.

It was a bad day for me and I had a cane with me to walk. An old man was there with his wife and looked at me and said to his wife, "Look at that cripple! Look!".

It hurt me needless to say and no, I have not forgotten that day and how that old man made me feel. He is likely dead and gone by now I'd suspect as this happened probably 10+ years ago.

People seem to enjoy doing things like this. Why exactly I'll never know.

It's possible the guy had some form of dementia, though. The filters disappear.

Impulse control gets impaired with many forms of dementia.

He looked so good!

Not really in hindsight. The old codger looked like he needed a shower among other things.

He was bitter and full of hatred against ... the disabled.

I cannot tell you how many times people have had the nerve to ask me if I've ever been popped for my disabled placard. I tell them I never have been "popped" for having it. That is probably because I can barely crawl out of the car without falling over. Is that enough "proof".

When I think of people that are not really disabled that are indeed milking the system, it makes me quite angry. I know of more than one person doing this and I always find it curious to see how they can manage to do almost anything when they have to do it (like doctor shopping -- driving 300 miles to get an RX from another doctor).

Only because they didn't understand that I was vulnerable with my broken arm.

I had surgery with plates and screws, and no cast. I walked home from the grocery store and these 2 teenage girls walking side by side wouldn't make space for me. They nearly bumped into my vulnerable arm. It was hard enough for me to lug home the groceries with my good arm, so I was grumpy and on edge. I lurched away from them and uttered a noise in my terror and grumpiness, and they mocked me and laughed as they went their way. It was annoying, but that's how teens are.

I've been on crutches too, a few times, and people generally didn't hold doors open for me when I was right behind them. I definitely hold doors open for people on crutches, in wheelchairs, etc. Not everyone is so thoughtful.

If anyone chastised me for holding a door open for them, then it's their own personal problem!

'crippled' themselves, mobility-wise, so why call attention to others?

I had a relative with a severe disability, and one time people were staring at him in a restaurant. I got angry, but he said "They're just staring because I'm so handsome, ND." He could brush it off; I couldn't. I've not forgotten it, though it probably happened more than 40 years ago.

probably had altzheimer's or a recent stroke, or some other insult to his brain that caused him to say the first dumbass thing that came into his head.

The poor wife was probably his caretaker, and had to chase him around, riding herd on him, because he wandered off regularly.

This, of course, is a total fabrication/figment of my imagination and might not be true at all, but maybe it is...the guy calling you names may have had issues of his own. I mean, really, it's not like this is typical behavior in older people; they tend to get more understanding of human frailty as they get older, by and large, even if they get crabbier about other things! My source for this insight is personal experience, BTW!

We are all temporarily able-bodied.

When someone I know breaks a bone or something, I am quick to point out what they are learning about access.

With voluntary simulations, you risk reinforcing the "thank God that's over, and I'm not in that position forever" rather than helping people develop empathy.

I wouldn't wish a permanent disability on anyone.

Or... maybe I'm not sure what you mean by voluntary simulations? From what I've seen, kids and teens think it's fun to scoot around in a wheelchair for a few minutes, just for kicks. If that's what you mean by voluntary simulation, then no, it doesn't work to foster empathy.

and they do more harm than good because they don't include adaptations.

the terminally ill, which she is not.

I wouldn't ask her to walk a mile in their shoes.

Last edited Tue Mar 24, 2015, 10:35 AM - Edit history (1)

Broke my right arm in two places. Had a cast that went from my hand to my collar bone. And I'm right handed so it was extra fun. Just buttoning my pants became a challenge.

So yes, disabled by Post 12's explicit conditions.

Edit: Again, I was addressing Quantess's post only. I never experienced anything negative from any kid or adult while I was sporting that heavy-assed piece of plaster. I don't doubt however, that if I had been on the sort of arm-brace crutches that a child that had his or her legs/nerves damaged from polio, my experience might have been drastically different, and markedly less positive. I think a lot of people treat different disabilities, or the perception of those disabilities, differently. So, I think Quantess's point about having a broken leg or arm to see what it's like, probably isn't a valid suggestion for the purpose of seeing 'what it's like'.

But it gives insight as to how hard it is to get around. Too many of us take our abilities for granted.

In no way did I experience negative or consciously rude reactions from people-- just some thoughtlessness here and there.
My point was that I learned a bit of empathy for the truly disabled, just by being temporarily "disabled".

I managed to trip and break an ankle and wound up on crutches. When I was VERY noticeably pregnant. I never experienced rudeness or thoughtlessness, but rather many people when out of their way to help me out.

It is very distressing to read the accounts here of people disabled in some way, being treated so badly.

It was Republicans saying that Veterans should have died in Iraq , rather than come home wounded and had to be taken care of by our US government (Veterans Administration) for the rest of their life. The premise being, that Republicans didn't like their dimes spent on supporting a broken man whose disability came from that war... and that they should have just died over there because it would be simply cheaper to bring home his body in a casket.

That's the Ugliness of the Republican party for ya.

I don't know what his political affiliation was but he was an ugly, ugly human being.

OT, check out bravenak's sigpic above. You two have the BEST sigpics.

Isn't she cute?? I sent her a message and told her so

I hope said person rots in hell. I really do.

Anyone living with a mind and body so filled with hate and lack of empathy cannot be a person very happy with their own so-called life. Our vets deserve our thanks and gratitude and the person who holds that base attitude should be pitied.

For a long time I wondered what the suicide rate is for persons with multiple sclerosis, a disease that takes everything and gives nothing at all back but comments like, "You look great to me!".

What it is is a diabolical illness that fools everyone but the person trying to live with it. Over 50% of persons with MS live in chronic, often severe pain BUT they often look so very good!

In my search for suicide rates among persons with MS, I finally found the numbers on this and it is one in four persons with MS attempt suicide. I can see why personally.

We live in a world that hates and loathes the disabled so why not off yourself? It is a far easier option than trying to LIVE in a world that hates the likes of YOU including many physicians.

What a sad reality this is.

For those who say things like that, think of this my friend.

People need to read the linked article and think about it.

It's unfortunate that it comes across as an attack on the disabled person.

K/R

...future would not be as he expected.
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which might have actually been why he's the most brilliant right now.

“Three Generations of Imbeciles Are Enough”

So wrote Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. in Buck v. Bell, a 1927 Supreme court case upholding a Virginia law that authorized the state to surgically sterilize certain “mental defectives” without their consent...

State laws permitting sterilization of individuals deemed unfit to reproduce — most commonly institutionalized persons with mental illness, or even conditions such as epilepsy — were common in the first half of the twentieth century... more than 65,000 people were sterilized under such laws, which were enacted in more than 30 states...

http://www.genomicslawreport.com/index.php/2009/06/25/three-generations-of-imbeciles-are-enough/

but the author seems to have been hit by the "brain eater" since then ...

are financing Palestinian terrorists in Israel?

http://www.financingtheflames.com/

or something else?

like his fiction about Microsoft taking over the world at armageddon?

http://www.formatnovel.com/

ah, I see now, this is what he's talking about:

Now that the EU is going bust, this is their new mantra.

In the article and the comments it states how wonderful things were before they got to where they are now in the EU.

Angela Merkel must be proud!

& recommend & read the article please.

There should be no dignified option to allow those facing horrific pain and utter loss of quality of life with no chance of respite to choose to die peacefully and painlessly on their own terms and by their own choice?

Fill in the steps of that syllogism if you would...

Despite the snidely titled link, I sure as hell hope assisted suicide is there to help my disabled ass when that time comes.

Way to miss the fucking point.

because whast I read is more predictable let-me-tug-at-unrelated-empathy-to-make-sure-people-have-to die-in-agony-because-I-think-the-alternative-is-icky screed. Oh and let's infantilize the disabled by making sure they never get to make end of life choices while they are at it.

She is opposing having the option on the books even for the terminally ill. Everything else in the article was build-up backstory on her personal fear against the option being legal.

FUD that was thrown up over and over by the Catholics here in Washington State when we were working to pass I-1000. (An option that wasn't legal when my father needed it, and could really have used.)

in the OP. I do support end of life decisions. I also support a more positive attitude toward disabled people in this country.

If you're talking about an impairment, maybe assistive technology, access to supportive resources, employment, and fewer assumptions about what the experience really is would be more helpful.

I'm employed and have the support needed too, speaking of asumptions....

But the end game is not impossible to predict. Or frankly, all that difficult. The OP posts repeated threads speaking as if for all disabled people that euthanasia is a horror to avoid. I am disabled and disagree - it is a boon to wish for. Choice always is, and we each own our own lives. Why is that wrong?

Of course you have the right to feel the way you do about your own situation. But try not to take this OP personally. It's about the ignorant judgements of others, not about your choices.

Not all people do, though. The OP refers to a widespread stereotype. Many people assume that disabling impairments are so tragic that all people who experience them reasonably believe that they would be better off dead.

Any time policies that support that sentiment are instituted, it reinforces that assumption.

The eugenics movement started at the beginning with the assumption that they would be better off not born. Some believed that out of pity, others supported it because they thought "those people" were an unnecessary expense. Support for involuntary sterilization of undesirables was legally instituted and practiced across the US. It cemented and reinforced stigma and devaluation of people with disabilities.

And I have stated here before that one of the reasons I moved to Oregon was because of the Death with Dignity Act.

What I discovered when I 1st came online at a website for the disabled, was that it is more the people that are born w/a disability that have fears about assisted suicide, than those that acquire a disability later in life.

This not the 1st of even the 2nd time the OP has posted about the same fear.

living with it than those born with a disability. and are thus more likely to be interested in assisted suicide.

has been legally blind most of his life. They both face hardship. They both from time to time wish they didn't have a disability, but they focus on what they can do and what makes them happy and go on living their life. I have known some legally blind and even totally blind people that my husband went to blind school with that because they went blind in adulthood and had spouses and children were able to adjust to being blind and go on enjoying their life with their families. There were some at the blind school that did struggle a great deal with their sudden disability though.

It isn't a matter of a harder time" (it's hard no matter when you acquired the disability), it is the FEAR that some can't handle.

I thought it was fairly clear.

"...people who acquire a disability who have a harder time living with it than those born with a disability"

of the situation. It's that many of those disabled from birth have a FEAR of Assisted Suicide.

living as a disabled person. Since you weren't specific about the "fear".

The fear of the disabled from birth is more that society will devalue their lives.

Which is one of the reasons the newly disabled would fear living as a disabled person.

What does that mean and how does it relate to the discussion?

thoughts that life is no longer worth living.

Maybe, get a clue that you can't just say to someone "If I were in your situation I would rather be dead", because it's very rude and insulting.

there is a culture in America that devalues the disabled. There are many happy, productive disabled people in this country who have to face dirty looks and nasty comments from both conservatives and liberals because they cannot do everything that everyone else does. Just look at our education policy toward the disabled. Our own Democratic administration says that all special education students should be able to make marked improvements. These are ignorant statements about the disabled. Yes, there are some who can make improvements, and there are some who cannot. Why is our Democratic government trying to force disabled students to perform at that same level as the general education students? Because our society does not value the disabled they tell them either get up and do what we do or screw you. I have an autistic son. There is a lot of research going on right now and eventually we will probably be able to test for it in utero and then people will probably start aborting them like most Down Syndrome fetuses are now and I find that a shame. Autistic people are incredible. Many are creative, resourceful, and think outside the box which is probably what makes them such a target. If you don't fit the model of what society says is valuable you mean nothing. I support a woman's right to have an abortion. I had an abortion when I was 16. But at the same time I would love to see a change in the attitude toward the disabled because they can lead productive and happy lives. To just assume they will be miserable and need not be alive is a wrong assumption.

I wonder if people are simply bad at articulating what they really mean, and what they really mean is something to the effect of "Damn you're strong to handle the challenges that stem from your disability, and I believe there is no way in hell I'd be able to deal with those challenges as well as you."

he was in his early thirties. About five years before I met him. He was not only about the strongest person I've ever known he was smart, resourceful and never showed us a moment of self pity. The only time I ever saw him slightly angry was when I tried to pick up one of his crutches he'd dropped.

I was lucky enough to work for him in the library and to spend some time away from school with him. He designed an operating system for paraplegics to operate autos that was a vast improvement on the then current systems. He also sailed his 20' boat solo from SF Bay to the tip of Baja in an annual race, winning it one year.

When I broke five vertebrae in my junior year, he was one of the people who were instrumental in helping me learn to walk again. I've met and gotten to know lots of so called "disabled people" since those days. As with able bodied people they have their strengths and weaknesses. I would never, ever have said to any one "I'd rather die than be like you."

Respond to such idiocy. Sad that so many cruel people think the world wants to know their opinion about everything. We really don't!

Great advice blog about "using your voice" in any sticky situation. She is my hero!

The horrid things people to say to others these days, it's appalling. Has society lost the desire to not hurt and insult other people verbally? Sick!

People have the right to think what they want, but it should never be socially acceptable to say that to someone with a disability.

It was disgusting. I've deplored cbs ever since.

Is the fact that would rather kill other children than risk their children being like me.

I have an hereditary crippling disease that less than a handful, according to world population, have that increasingly gets worse. It's brain, spin, nerve related. I have to look where I'm walking at all times. No hills, rough terrain, etc. etc. However, I still try to be very active and go fun places.

Last ballgame I went to, my husband was holding my arm walking down the bleachers (which are not easy in the first place, right?) and I stumbled a time or two. One woman shouted out to my husband that he should keep his "ole lady" sober if she wanted to come to games with him. Cute, huh?

In (just a guess according to my great grandmother, grandfather, and dad) but I'll probably be wheel chair bound in about 6 years with zero use of my legs. Just dead weight.

However, right now it's not that noticeable unless I stumble as I did on the bleachers; and no one really even knows I have a disability. I wish it would stay that way for us all, but it doesn't of course.

Anyway, I'd much rather be living with my loving family and friends in six to how many more years I have with the disability. It's not our disability that makes us different; it's the assholes around us.

Hang in there!

or "confined to a wheelchair". You'll probably "use a wheelchair".

Thanks for that tip.

advocate for ourselves as best we can and for those unable to do that.

It takes special bravery to get through life with a serious disability.

me, I look at such people and I feel admiration that they persevere no matter what

that disabled people are better off dead in law, something has really gone wrong in our society."

X 1,000,000.


Something *has* gone wrong, and in the US as well as the UK. It's been going wrong for a while, and unless people wake up it will continue going wrong.

at how quick some people are to judge others' lives as worthless. And saying so face to face is even worse.

but I did not find anyone. I'm glad. I love being alone and deep in thought. People have said to me they wouldn't want to live that way. What would be the point. But I get such a connection with the world when I think about the issues of the day. I would not want to ever be in a relationship... I'd be bad at it. I would not have the time or capacity for quiet contemplation. That would be a miserable existence for me. I'm too sensitive. I can't hear. I simply don't connect to the world through another person with as much reward as I do when I think. Talking is not who I am or where my strengths lie. I'm living the life I was meant for. It is only in these past few years that I really feel it is my time in the sun. Before than I was used by one person or another and did not have the wide open space I crave. I have ancestors on both sides who had multiple siblings who never married, so I was born this way. I'm so lucky to be so self contained.

Nobody knows what you value and how rewarding it is to be just the way you are unless they know you very, very well. This person was totally judging you. And really you have to feel sorry for those who go through life judging others without knowing them and making the wrong assumptions. There is a really good book on this very thing by a Canadian writer Rohinton Misty called "A Fine Balance". It is one of those books that stays with you. I read it 15 years ago and often think of it.

You go; most of the DU'ers here have your back. I know I do.

Signed,

The OP