A recent survey of approximately 38,701 millennials found that women are finally equal to men.

“Ever since Tina Fey was elected to congress, there’s been a total shift,” said Katie, a 23-year-old PR account manager. “My boss just gave me a 22 percent raise!” she added.

Katie speaks the truth. In recent times, women have found themselves completely equal to their male peers, professionally. Forty-eight percent of respondents speculate the shift has trickled down from business women in power. This year, 51 percent of Fortune 500 CEOs are women, compared to 4.8 percent -- a celebrated record high! -- in 2014. Equally awesome: half of all Hollywood movies set to shoot in 2015 will be directed by women of color.

The remaining survey respondents say we owe thanks to the government for this recent surge in equality -- every employee of every job anywhere is now guaranteed 20 weeks of paid parental leave so that mom and/or dad can stay home with a new baby, be able to support said baby, and not have to worry that baby will impact later earnings. “Gone are the days when women could expect to lose about a million dollars in lifetime earnings because she had a kid,” said Brittany, an engineer at a tech start-up that was recently acquired by Snapchat. “Hooray!” she added, fist pumping with glee.