And this clown doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about.

biggest mistake I ever made.

If you ever say anything against the child you are the bad one and the child is God and you are dirt.

NEVER marry someone with a child in the home

I married a younger, childless man. He and I raised him, and the two we had together.

Tomorrow will be our 24th anniversary which we'll celebrate with our 3 children and 4 grandkids who all think grandpa is the greatest. And so do I.

Just sayin.

my husband (tkmorris). He and I raised them and then had two little boys together.

We've been married for just over 17 years. A little bit shocked by the vitriol... but oh, well, it's DU right?

Kid made my life hell, Didn't go to school, sold dope, played video games all day and night......almost got me shot then because of the incident, I got sued for 2 million dollars. Wife of course, realizing she might be on the hook decided it was a good time to divorce me so she wasn't on the hook for a settlement. And I could only afford ONE attorney so .......

WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE

Not something to make rules about.

I'm no longer shocked by your posts. I should be... But I am not.

Maybe I am more shocked that you've been around this long. Oh well...

he thrives by shocking people.

I don't date because it's too much work to weed out the pompous asses out there, never mind the possible pedophiles/molesters/creeps (I've read some try to date single mothers with daughters specifically). I'm going to wait until my kids are grown to date.

By the way, it's not just men who have this attitude. It's probably less likely but some women do too. My ex's girlfriend doesn't like my girls. She told people around town she hates my kids (because they take away so much of my ex's time, she says). When my ex sees his daughters (once a month or less, his choice) his girlfriend usually makes herself scarce and goes on trips. It's just as well, I guess. Maybe she should've thought of that before she fucked a guy with a wife and 4 kids.

My advice for you? If you hate kids, then don't date someone with kids. Period. But don't tell others not to do the same. There are plenty of people out there who actually LIKE kids, and would be thrilled to be a step-parent. Don't project your dislike of kids onto everyone else. ETA My cousin married the love of his life. She had 2 children from a previous marriage. He (and the entire extended family) treated them as his own. They went on to have 2 more children. They are very happy together. I'm guessing my cousin is quite glad he didn't listen to anyone like you.

My wifes child(man..whatever)is almost 26 years old and wont work and she defends him.

You said child. Maybe next time make yourself clear.

No doubt you talked yourself into seeing it just that way.

who knew?

Every single table on this planet should be destroyed and burned. I think that's an appropriate reaction.

Then we divorced in 2007 after seven years of marriage and having another daughter together.

My former stepdaughter and her husband share a house with me and help me with my special needs daughter. My former stepson is a close friend, and I'm helping send him on a European trek after he graduates in June. My ex-wife and her new partner are good friends and we share most holidays as one big family.

I agree - the clown doesn't know what he's talking about.

Many men I have known over the years, when I have discussed their current girl friend with them and if they liked her enough to marry her, have told me that she has children so it makes it less likely. When I asked why that was a problem the reply was that they didn't want to raise another guy's children.



Is it because they would be a reminder that their wife previously had sex with another man? I can't believe such caveman thinking still is around.

I don't blame them.
It would be a concern for me as well.

Unless I really got to know the guy, AND to love his kids, then it
wouldn't be a burden, just a change in priorities.

This guy's ONLY priority is and always will be himself.

Also partly that it's just more baggage in the relationship. OTOH, my SO has a 14 year old son. I've never had any children myself, so while it's a learning curve, I'm also enjoying the new experience. He's a great kid.

for the new step father.

In fact, I'd say that the majority of men without children won't commit to a woman with children, or at least struggle with it a bit. It's partly a responsibility issue (investing your time and earnings into another persons children is a big deal for many people, especially knowing that you'll always play second fiddle to the bio parent), and partly a baggage issue (knowing that you're going to be constantly dealing with her ex is a HUGE red flag for a lot of people).

This does go both ways though. One of my sisters was doing a fwb thing with a guy for almost two years when he asked her to marry him. She said no. Her primary reason? He already had two kids with someone else and didn't want that "drama" in her life. She's now married to someone else.

Opinions tend to change when both people have kids of their own and they're each bringing baggage into a relationship, but a lot of people without children don't want to subject themselves to all of that.

I have never wanted to have/raise my own children (so I didn't have any); why would I want to raise someone else's and deal with the mama drama on top of it? Seemed unfair and a waste of everyone's time to get involved with someone in a relationship that would never go anywhere.

after my husband died, I did not want a man to take the place of my son's father. I also didn't want my son to grow up resenting me or being angry for bringing a man into our home.

My son is grown now and he's not so much as seen me kiss another man besides his father. I think now he would like or me to have someone in my life, but now I'm not so keen on that notion.

There are three big issues that come immediately to mind why a man may have a problem with this...
1. The man may want his own biological children. If a woman already has 2 or 3 kids, she's likely not going to want more.
2. It's common for children to reject and "hate" a new step-parent because they are angry their real parents are divorced. It's a kind of drama men tend to want to steer clear of.
3. The real father will always be looking over the shoulder. He'll be picking the kids up for visitation. He may prevent the family from moving to areas with better employment. Also, the real parents may despise each other and still fight all the time. Asking another man to inject himself into that drama he had no part in creating is asking a lot.

There is a lot of things involved here.

being a problem and those should be resolved by all parties involved before there is a second marriage. As far as raising the kids, I have a step daughter and she lived with us some of the time and visited as well when she was with her mother. I did nothing to raise her except to feed her. Her discipline and other issues were handled by her parents. If she wanted something, I told her she had to talk to her father.

If I thought she was being bratty I talked to her father and her mother if need be. They made all the decisions about her upbringing and education. I basically didn't interfere. Now this approach is pretty individual and worked for us. Depending on the personalities involved, it's something that needs to be worked out.

I also don't like the idea of becoming a fixture in a kid's life, only to disappear when the relationship with his/her mother ends.

Found a great gal with a young girl and after so many years of being wild, I knew I found my family. I love them both dearly. We're engaged, and I don't plan on having children of my own. Just going to take care of her and do the best I can.

I have no problem with it at all.

I'm no hero ... sometimes I think about my wild days, and after a few minutes, I remember that I have something much more valuable.

This fellow needs empathy training, stat.

(The ones with the pointy toes.)

It is probably a social thing. With divorce being so common, the dating pool is full of single mothers and male divorcees who have children already. The stigma of single motherhood is waning.

Guys who are older and already have kids are natural matches for single mothers because neither feels the pressure of wanting more kids.

a nice young lady with two small girls.

This was his first marriage and her second.

They dated several years before they married.

They are now expecting a child in June.

It will also be a girl.

They thrive on it, in fact. Don't give them the clicks.

My best friend married a man with 3 boys (now grown). 2 of them think of her as their mom but the 3rd has been nothing but a ton of money and grief.

It can put a tremendous strain on a relationship. I know there have been many nights the only way she's gotten to sleep is to think repeatedly..."he's not my kid"...

Forney believes

MRAs tend to exclaim they only think we are "wired" differently, or that we are equal but take advantage. This guy admits out and out he thinks men are better.

does not want to marry another person who has children, then just don't. There is nothing wrong with that choice and it is a choice.

^D^O^U^C^H^E^B^A^S^S

showing allegiance to their child over the spouse's even to the point of ignoring faults and so on.

Common human behavior, not FEMALE behavior.

It is almost always the most difficult part of a marriage like that, but it can be done.


Just buy stock in Bayer, and you will be fine.

he's saying it sucks in general, ESPECIALLY if there's a female in the "litter"

There's a handy guide to sexist asshats on the internet, and they have written plenty about him:
http://wehuntedthemammoth.com/category/matt-forney/

No need for anyone to click on the link in the OP and give him views.

The one where we all want to have sex with Islamic extremists.

Seems there's more than enough lunacy to go around!

We'll see if that gets a response.

and they overlook danger signs from too many men who are LOOKING for a desperate Mom with young kids they can molest easily.

The kids are the big losers in too many cases. In a benign relationship they are asked to love (at least like) Mom's new man, when many/most obviously still love their Dad, and are secretly wishing they would get back together, so that puts an impediment in the dynamics of the new family.

If they attach too readily, they set themselves up for more pain if the new relationship does not last..

and of course, they may be put into possible danger if their Mom is a needy/overly trusting woman.

she took on 5 of us.

raise her. I left the discipline issues to her parents so I didn't have problems with the ex either. Today I live with step daughter in a mother-in-law unit type of arrangement even though her mom and dad are now passed. It works out well because we can help each other out as family when we need it. It's a good thing too because I never had kids of my own.

good to hear that the two of you are doing well with it.

Boy I wish I could have an adoption annulled....

I've been a single dad, with custody of my children. I have never had a problem getting dates with intelligent women.

My younger son is in a relationship with an outstanding lady, who has two young daughters. They all have great relationships. Both of my daughters and I have babysat the little girls, and recognize them as part of our family.

However, if any adult -- male or female -- isn't comfortable being in a serious relationship with someone with children, then by all means, they should avoid that situation.

I put it up there so we could throw rotten tomatoes at it.

I'd prefer to hurl rotten eggs at it! (Obviously, that's because I'm a single father.)

Sometimes the parents have really screwed things up. Sometimes, God himself couldn't have fixed the kid.

I do think that anyone who marries a person who already has kids needs to be very clear about what's involved, because the specifics will be different in every case. Before I actually married and had kids, I knew I didn't want to marry a man who already had kids. Now that I'm much older, my kids are grown (they're wonderful, thank you for asking) and I'm divorced, I honestly don't see myself ever being in another relationship, if for no other reason than I'm not sure I want to deal with the baggage a man my age inevitably has. Just as no man out there may be willing to deal with my baggage.

I find myself thinking the same way. A man my age is going to most likely, not only have grown children but grandchildren with a whole set of family traditions that aren't mine. He has to think the same of me as well. Then there are the health issues. After seven years of being sole caregiver for my husband before he passed, I'm not certain I want to be a nurse for another husband and I'm sure any man feels the same way especially if he had to care for an ailing wife.

My first marriage ended in divorce, so I was spared that.

Perhaps it is selfish, but there are many things I am not prepared to undertake, among those is caring for an ailing spouse. So okay, if we marry now an we are both in good health, but somewhere down the road my spouse gets ill, that's one thing. But to take on an ailing person? No. I am now 66 years old, in annoyingly good health. Heck, I can still do headstands at my age.

It's not totally beyond possibility that I might meet a man my age, in excellent health, whose children live on their own and are totally great kids, but more likely I'd meet someone with kids who are needy and dependent, and that potential spouse has health that is quite precarious and not so secretly wants a caretaker. Thank you, but no thanks. I am sorry my first (and so far only) marriage came to an end, but since it did I'm quite happy on my own.

Wants to end up with. His type is just not relationship material. They don't get it. How to relate to women. They want one as a possession and complain that women don't want to be possessions.

If a man falls in love with a woman with children, chances are he will pick her over settling for someone who doesn't just because they don't.

It makes men look really bad and just as much of a jerk (if not worse) as women claim them to be.

Dude is pervily obsessed and delusional

Utterly pukeworthy.

and no, they are not biologically mine. That doesn't change the fact that they're my children.

We raised them together. They are our children, plan and simple.

it's always the same pathetic bullshit because no woman with two brain cells to rub together wants to be saddled with their garbage. The ones who are 'taking themselves out of the American wiminz dating pool', are the best. lmao Go on with yer bad self to Real Dolls order form. I think it's funny they think some woman somewhere would miss them. hahahahha

don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. Why they think we American women would care is the burning question. Hell, we're HAPPY they're out! It's one more MRA pervert we don't have to bother with! Go do your own thing and leave us alone. That's what we want you to do anyway, ya hosers.

That's how they all are. Freaky weird fucked up losers

to have a kid say, "You're not my father, you can't tell me what to do!!"

That particular kid's mother and I split up over other issues (her alcoholism was a big part of it), but it was something I never forgot.

When I went to get custody of my son from my first marriage, and succeeded, I wouldn't let him get away unchallenged with saying that to the stepmother that agreed with me that he'd be better off with us. Even after she and I split up, he remained her stepson, and I'm glad of that.

I've been on both sides of that fence.

he think people like Woody Allen are the norm

oh, wait, he'd probably enjoy that.

swill.

Seriously. Bye bye, asshole.

By the way, I'm a single woman without children, and I would dump him in a second if I found out he harbored that assholish opinion.

My situation turned out bad when I married a woman with a son and dead-beat dad, she has spoiled this kid to a point where he was still sleeping in the bed with her at 8 years old, should have been my 1st clue. This kid took no responsible for any of his actions, mama to the rescue for everything, drove me insane, as he got older it got worst, bad grade and a bad attitude everything was someone else fault. His mother was blind to reality, and guess who became the bad guy for trying to get this young man to become man. Why are you protecting him from me? You know what IDGAF.

not be getting a divorce as quickly as possibly???? Oh yea, a guy like that talks about how unattractive his wife is while stroking the beer belly hiding his stuff, even from himself. Then he goes all perv.

So none of that kinda bullshit ever sticks to me.

I hope you're happy.

to expose the MRA lunacy.

isn't the word "single" in the title redundant?

or maybe if he just stays away from women in general.

Most crap like this is written for attention.

but a revoltingly misogynistic one. So alas, no, not fake.

Long ago, people learned that the bigger asshole you are on the internet, the more likely people are going to visit your website. Basically, it pays to write the most vile, idiotic things and become a caricature. It could be real (in the sense of the author really believing these things), but many of these, imo, aren't. The want people to get offended and for it to go viral, which leads to more visitors and ad revenue.

Way more....probably 5:1

of us. He's been a great dad who taught us all what being a dad is and should be. The one good thing I am most proud of is being a good dad and he was my mentor.

Now that my mother's health is failing, he's demonstrating how a good husband finishes off his office.

My dad is a good man and my mother and he have had a great marriage even though he took on a wife with three kids. And added three more.

I could have never been any good at all if I hadn't learned empathy from him. And he is a great "step" grampa, too. One of my nieces (a step) was abandoned by her birth mother after her mother and my brother divorced and my dad and mother raised her after her twelfth birthday.

Their house has had four generations living there at least two different times.

Merv the perv seems like he lives up to the name.

They've been married for 25 years now and I can honestly say I am closer to my Step-Dad than I am my own Father. He has been awesome to my Mother all of these years. And he makes my Mom happy - something she never was when she was with my Dad (except when the 3 of us were born).

They are soul-mates and I love that he is my Step-Dad

Having been involved in the start up of an online support group for women living in step (still going strong today) and getting involved with a divorced man with kids for 6 years . . .

I said in my 30's -

I did not want to marry a man with kids - let alone date one. I had btdt - had a t-shirt, the scars . . . when it ends those aren't your kids.

It's a 'to each their own' situation. What works for one person won't work for another.

And when I had to make a choice between someone who had one child out of the nest and one a year away -
And my never married no kids eventual husband - I believe I chose well.


I just celebrated my third wedding anniversary and we've been together about 5 years now. He had a long term relationship with someone with an ex and kids too.

For us it had nothing to do with 'raising another persons kid' - it had to do with really appreciating that as a 'new couple' we could just take off for Puerto Rico at the drop of a hat. We didn't have to negotiate other families on holidays.

We both got the fun and carefree relationship that we both missed out on in our 20's. That's probably a part of why we got married. We had a shared life experience - and as a result could deeply appreciate the time we could give to our relationship without outside pressures.

And if a young woman in her 20's came to me tomorrow and said - which one should I pick? And she's never been married and had no kids? I would tell her there are PLENTY of women who have the same experience (married/divorced/kids or just kids) as Guy A. Guy B - as you get older is going to be harder to find. Go for Guy B.

My Dad used to say you needed a score card to figure out which kid was from what mother. Not all the children were his biological kids.

Marriage #1
They divorced with no children.

Marriage #2
Married a single mother with one son. They had a son together.
Divorced and she split and left both boys with him.

Marriage #3
Married a divorced woman with twin daughters
They had a son and daughter together. So this made one son (related to neither), a son from his 2nd marriage, 2 daughters from his 3rd wife's former marriage, and a son and daughter they had together.

Marriage #4?
He remarried his first wife when he was in his 60s. This time it only lasted a year before they divorced, again. He said, "I am done with WOMEN".

Well, I guess you could say that he had major problems with women, but none with CHILDREN. He was a very good Daddy, Step-Daddy, Uncle, and Great-Uncle.