Heritage Foundation: Gay Marriage Will Make All The Gross Spinsters Kill Their Babies. It’s Math!

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Heritage Foundation: Gay Marriage Will Make All The Gross Spinsters Kill Their Babies. It’s Math!

image:
Lesbian and/or baby-killer

According to the Heritage Foundation’s (LOL) “digital-first, multimedia news platform,” The Daily Signal, if the Supreme Court crams gay-marriage down our throats, as it is totally gonna do in June, that will make even more women do abortions. FACT. Gene Schaerr, a lawyer and former law clerk to Justice Antonin Scalia, has all the numbers and charts, and also the Netherlands, to prove it:
In a nutshell: A reduction in the opposite-sex marriage rate means an increase in the percentage of women who are unmarried and who, according to all available data, have much higher abortion rates than married women. And based on past experience, institutionalizing same-sex marriage poses an enormous risk of reduced opposite-sex marriage rates.

Whoa, our heads are spinning from that deductive reasoning. But Schaerr has looked at this stuff, lawyer style, and when you look at it the way he does (drunk, we think?), it is just so obvious. See, in the Netherlands, and in Spain (there is a graph, you cannot argue with a graph), fewer women got married after those nations adopted “genderless marriage.”

image:
A "chart" with "numbers"

It is a terrific graph, in that it demonstrates that “3.2” is like 10 percent of “5,” and also “random numbers.” So, clearly, once women were allowed the right to marry a man or a woman, they decided not to marry anyone and instead get knocked up and then kill their babies, because women are fickle like that.

Is there a graph that shows the correlation between the rise of lesbian marriages leading to the rise of fewer marriages leading to the rise of abortion rates? No. But in the United States, “married women do not abort children at the same rates as cohabitating women or women living singly.” And look! Math!
Calculating the total number of abortions over an unmarried woman’s childbearing years by averaging this rate over her assumed 30-year fertility period, unmarried women would average 0.87 abortions over their lifetimes, while married women would average 0.18 abortions.

It’s math, don’t you see? MATH! And dividing leaves by applesauce gives you 5.2.

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Read more at http://wonkette.com/583300/heritage-foundation-gay-marriage-will-make-all-the-gross-spinsters-kill-their-babies-its-math#UztK2AfL1l0eJVcS.99